Grandpa: My Homer is not a communist.  He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a communist, but he is not a porn star. 
Ralph: Me fail English? That's unpossible.
Homer: [drunk] Look, the thing about my family is there's five of us. Marge, Bart, Girl Bart, the one who doesn't talk, and the fat guy. How I loathe him.
Homer: Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.
"Too bad drinking scotch isn't a paying job or Kenny's dad would be a millionare!" -- Cartman
"Kenny's family is so poor that yesterday, they had to put their cardboard box up for a second mortgage." -- Cartman
"There's a time and a place for everything, and it's called college." -- Chef
"If there are any questions, direct them to that brick wall over there." -- Network President
"Stan, what did I tell you about watching the Osbournes? It's going to make you retarded!" -- Stan's Mom
Morpheus: If real is what you can feel, smell, taste and see, then 'real' is simply electrical signals interpreted by your brain
Morpheus: Throughout human history, we have been dependent on machines to survive. Fate, it seems, is not without a sense of irony.
All we really need to survive is one person who truly loves us-Penelope 
"When due process fails us, we really do live in a world of terror." - JC Denton
"Bravery is not a function of firepower." - JC Denton
"Human beings may not be perfect, but a computer program with language synthesis is hardly the answer to the world's problems." - JC Denton
"Every war is the result of a difference of opinion. Maybe the biggest questions can only be answered by the greatest of conflicts." - JC Denton
"You can't fight ideas with bullets." - Leo Gold
"You will be who you will be. We are our choices. And we can choose to lead humanity away from this... darkness." - Icarus/Helios
"The unplanned organism is a question asked by Nature and answered by Death. You are another kind of question, with another kind of answer." -Morpheus
"The individual desires judgment. Without that desire, the cohesion of groups is impossible, and so is civilization." - Morpheus
Trust no one. Question Everything. - Deus Ex