Abraham Lincoln "You can fool all the people some of the time, and some of the people all the time, but you cannot fool all the people all the time." Thomas Jefferson "History, in general, only informs us what bad government is." Bruce Lee "Art calls for complete mastery of techniques, developed by reflection within the soul." Daniel Webster "I mistrust the judgment of every man in a case in which his own wishes are concerned." Socrates "Only the extremely ignorant or the extremely intelligent can resist change." GK Chesterton "A good novel tells us the truth about its hero; but a bad novel tells us the truth about its author." Frank Moore Colby "The flowers anew, returning seasons bring! But beauty faded has no second spring." Woody Allen "Last night I discovered a new form of oral contraceptive. I asked a girl to go to bed with me and she said no." John Whorfin "Character is what you are in the dark." Helen Keller "I do not want the peace that passeth understanding, I want the understanding that brings peace." Alexis de Tocqueville "America is great because she is good. If America ceases to be good, America will cease to be great." Dave Barry "Have you noticed that whatever sport you're trying to learn, some earnest person is always telling you to keep your knees bent?" Emily Dickinson "Forever is composed of nows." Thomas Jefferson "It was by the sober sense of our citizens that we were safely and steadily conducted from monarchy to republicanism, and it is by the same agency alone we can be kept from falling back." Dave Barry "Back in the old days, most families were close-knit. Grown children and their parents continued to live together, under the same roof, sometimes in the same small, crowded room, year in and year out, until they died, frequently by strangulation." Aristotle "Man is by nature a political animal." George Washington "Labor to keep alive in your breast that little spark of celestial fire called conscience." C.S. Lewis "Heaven offers nothing that a mercenary soul can desire." C.S. Lewis "You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream." Jim Davis "Life is like a Ferrari, it goes too fast. But that's ok, because you can't afford it anyway." Bob Dylan "Money doesn't talk, it swears." Sun Tzu "This does not mean that the enemy is to be allowed to escape. The object is to make him believe that there is a road to safety, and thus prevent his fighting with the courage of despair. After that, you may crush him." Chief Wiggum "Put out an APB for a male suspect, driving a... car of some sort, heading in the direction of, uh, you know, that place that sells chili. Suspect is hatless. Repeat, hatless." Alexander Pope "Do good by stealth, and blush to find it fame." C.S. Lewis "The very idea of freedom presupposes some objective moral law which overarches rulers and ruled alike. Subjectivism about values is eternally incompatible with democracy. We and our rulers are of one kind only so long as we are subject to one law. But if there is no Law of Nature, the ethos of any society is the creation of its rulers, educators and conditioners; and every creator stands above and outside his own creation." Aristotle "I have gained this from philosophy: that I do without being commanded what others do only from fear of the law." Mark Twain "Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example." Wayne Dyer "The measure of your life will not be in what you accumulate, but in what you give away." Ansel Adams "Sometimes I do get to places just when God's ready to have somebody click the shutter." Earl Warren "The sports page records people's accomplishments; The front page nothing but their failures." GK Chesterton "Love means loving the unlovable - or it is no virtue at all." Quentin Tarantino "When people ask me if I went to film school I tell them 'no, I went to films.'" Robert Frost "I'd just as soon play tennis with the net down." Roger Ebert "What makes us men is that we can think logically. What makes us human is that we sometimes choose not to." George Carlin "Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong." Oliver Wendell Holmes "Death tugs at my ear and says: "Live, I am coming."" Dwight Eisenhower "I can think of nothing more boring for the American people than to have to sit in their living rooms for a whole half hour looking at my face on their television screens." Dorothy Parker "Take care of the luxuries and the necessities will take care of themselves." Benjamin Franklin "'Tis a common observation here that our cause is the cause of all mankind, and that we are fighting for their liberty in defending our own." Mahatma Gandhi "That service is the noblest which is rendered for its own sake." Thomas Paine "He that would make his own liberty secure, must guard even his enemy from opposition; for if he violates this duty he establishes a precedent that will reach himself." Soren Aabye Kierkegaard "To dare is to lose one's footing momentarily. To not dare is to lose oneself." Mother Teresa "I do not pray for success, I ask for faithfulness." Nachman of Bratslav "A man should believe in God through faith, not because of miracles." C.S. Lewis "We have a strange illusion that mere time cancels sin. But mere time does nothing either to the fact or to the guilt of a sin." Blaise Pascal "I made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it short." Adolf Hitler "The leader of genius must have the ability to make different opponents appear as if they belonged to one category." Christopher Marlowe "I am Envy. I cannot read and therefore wish all books burned." Gene Brown "Accept good advice gracefully--as long as it doesn't interfere with what you intended to do in the first place." Chris Bowyer "Half of maturity consists of knowing when and how to be immature." Adolf Hitler "The man who has no sense of history, is like a man who has no ears or eyes." Dave Barry "The Internet is a giant international network of intelligent, informed computer enthusiasts, by which I mean, "people without lives." We don't care. We have each other..." Oliver Wendell Holmes "A moment's insight is sometimes worth a life's experience." Carl Jung "Where love rules, there is no will to power; and where power predominates, there love is lacking. The one is the shadow of the other." Michael Jackson "I'm just like anyone. I cut and I bleed. And I embarass easily." Joseph Addison "What sculpture is to a block of marble, education is to the soul." Johann Wolfgang von Goethe "Men show their characters in nothing more clearly than in what they think laughable." Emily Dickinson "Parting is all we know of heaven and all we need to know of hell." Woody Allen "I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch." Benjamin Franklin "I think vital religion has always suffered when orthodoxy is more regarded than virtue. The scriptures assure me that at the last day we shall not be examined on what we thought but what we did." Alexander Pope "Let me tell you I am better acquainted with you for a long absence, as men are with themselves for a long affliction: absence does but hold off a friend, to make one see him the truer." Oliver Wendell Holmes "A mind that is stretched by a new experience can never go back to its old dimensions." Samuel Goldwyn "I don't want any yes-men around me. I want everybody to tell me the truth even if it costs them their jobs." Dave Barry "I probably should never have been there anyway, and it served me right when the two alert police officers fired up their siren, pulled me over, and pointed out that my car's registration had expired. I had not realized this, and as you can imagine I felt like quite the renegade outlaw as one of the officers painstakingly wrote out my ticket, standing well to the side of the road so as to avoid getting hit by the steady stream of passing unlicensed and uninsured motorists driving their stolen cars with their left hands so that their right hands would be free to keep their pit bulls from spilling their cocaine all over their machine guns. Not that I am bitter." Aristotle "Mothers are fonder than fathers of their children because they are more certain they are their own." Dorothy Parker "Love is like quicksilver in the hand. Leave the fingers open and it stays. Clutch it, and it darts away." Daniel Webster "Whatever makes men good Christians, makes them good citizens." Elbert Hubbard "Get happiness out of your work or you may never know what happiness is." Sydney Harris "Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable." Thomas Sowell "Egalitarians create the most dangerous inequality of all -- inequality of power. Allowing politicians to determine what all other human beings will be allowed to earn is one of the most reckless gambles imaginable. Like the income tax, it may start off being applied only to the rich but it will inevitably reach us all." Will Rogers "Why not go out on a limb? That's where the fruit is." Al Gore "No matter how hard the loss, defeat might serve as well as victory to shake the soul and let the glory out." John F. Kennedy "The greater our knowledge increases the more our ignorance unfolds." Robin Williams "I'll always perform, because show business is in my blood. Or maybe it's in my feet. Wherever it is, I don't think I'll ever stop." John F. Kennedy "The greater our knowledge increases the more our ignorance unfolds." Confucius "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step." Ralph Waldo Emerson "God enters by a private door into every individual." Johann Wolfgang von Goethe "Music, in the best sense, does not require novelty; no, the older it is, and the more we are accustomed to it, the greater its effect." Socrates "False words are not only evil in themselves, but they infect the soul with evil." Johann Wolfgang von Goethe "When ideas fail, words come in very handy." C.S. Lewis "Experience proves this, or that, or nothing, according to the preconceptions we bring to it." Martin Luther King Jr. "Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power. We have guided missiles and misguided men." Erna Bombeck "Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other." Dwight Eisenhower "If the United Nations once admits that international disputes can be settled by using force, then we will have destroyed the foundation of the organization and our best hope of establishing a world order." Art Spander "The great thing about democracy is that it gives every voter a chance to do something stupid." Saint Augustine "The argument is at an end." Henry Thoreau "Any fool can make a rule." Art Buchwald "We seem to be going through a period of nostalgia, and everyone seems to think yesterday was better than today. I don't think it was, and I would advise you not to wait ten years before admitting today was great. If you're hung up on nostalgia, pretend today is yesterday and just go out and have one hell of a time." Christopher Morley "Beauty is ever to the lonely mind a shadow fleeting; she is never plain. She is a visitor who leaves behind the gift of grief, the souvenir of pain." Yogi Berra "I made a wrong mistake." Albert Einstein "We have to do the best we can. This is our sacred human responsibility." Christopher Morley "Humor is perhaps a sense of intellectual perspective: an awareness that some things are really important, others not; and that the two kinds are most oddly jumbled in everyday affairs." Henry Ford "You can't build a reputation on what you are going to do." Michael Jackson "I'm totally at home on the stage. That's where I live. That's where I was born. That's where I'm safe." Rita Rudner "Have children while your parents are still young enough to take care of them." Steven Wright "I went into a restaurant and the sign said 'Breakfast anytime," so I ordered french toast during the Renaissance." Richard Nixon "I wish I could give you a lot of advice, based on my experience of winning political debates. But I don't have that experience. My only experience is at losing them." James Michener "I think the crucial thing in the writing career is to find what you want to do and how you fit in. What somebody else does is of no concern whatever except as an interesting variation." Albert Camus "In the depths of winter, I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer." Ambrose Bierce "Being is desirable because it is identical with Beauty, and Beauty is loved because it is Being. We ourselves possess Beauty when we are true to our own being; ugliness is in going over to another order; knowing ourselves, we are beautiful; in self-ignorance, we are ugly." Marlon Brando "An actor is at most a poet and at least an entertainer." Nicolo Machiavelli "Government consists in nothing else but so controlling subjects that they shall neither be able to, nor have cause to do it harm." Geof Greenleaf "A man is measured by the size of things that anger him." Theodore Roosevelt "No man is justified in doing evil on the ground of expediency." John Wayne "Courage is being scared to death, but saddling up anyway." Margaret Thatcher "It's passionately interesting for me that the things that I learned in a small town, in a very modest home, are just the things that I believe have won the election." Emily Dickinson "If I feel physically as if the top of my head were taken off, I know that is poetry." Plato "The direction in which education starts a man will determine his future life." Mark Twain "Providence protects children and idiots. I know because I have tested it." Marcus Aurelius "Be like the promontory against which the waves continually break, but it stands firm and tames the fury of the water around it." Ronald Reagan "Politics is not a bad profession. If you succeed there are many rewards, if you disgrace yourself you can always write a book." Henry Mencken "Faith may be defined briefly as an illogical belief in the occurrence of the improbable." Cheris Kramerae "Feminism is the radical notion that women are human beings." Aldous Huxley "Proverbs are always platitudes until you have personally experienced the truth of them." H.G. Wells "In politics, strangely enough, the best way to play your cards is to lay them face upwards on the table." Winston Churchill "If you will not fight for the right when you can easily win without bloodshed; if you will not fight when your victory will be sure and not too costly; you may come to the moment when you will have to fight with all the odds against you and only a small chance of survival. There may even be a worse case: you may have to fight when there is no hope of victory, because it is better to perish than to live as slaves." Dave Barry "Congress, after years of stalling, finally got around to clearing the way for informal discussions that might lead to possible formal talks that could potentially produce some kind of tentative agreements..." Bruce Willis "It doesn't matter how many people I've killed. What matters is how I get along with the people who are still alive." Alexander Pope "To err is human; to forgive is divine." Ayn Rand "Individual rights are not subject to a public vote; a majority has no right to vote away the rights of a minority; the political function of rights is precisely to protect minorities from oppression by majorities (and the smallest minority on earth is the individual)." Ogden Nash "Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets." Winston Churchill "If you go on with this nuclear arms race, all you are going to do is make the rubble bounce." Harvey Pekar "Ordinary life is pretty complex stuff." Harry Truman "I sit here all day trying to persuade people to do the things they ought to have the sense to do without my persuading them. That's all the powers of the President amount to." Jesse Jackson "Never look down on anybody unless you're helping them up." Abraham Lincoln "As I would not be a slave, so I would not be a master. This expresses my idea of democracy. Whatever differs from this, to the extent of the difference, is no democracy." GK Chesterton "Children are innocent and love justice, while most adults are wicked and prefer mercy." Quentin Tarantino "Movies are my religion and God is my patron. I'm lucky enough to be in the position where I don't make movies to pay for my pool. When I make a movie, I want it to be everything to me; like I would die for it." GK Chesterton "I say that a man must be certain of his morality for the simple reason that he has to suffer for it." Billy Crystal "Women need a reason to have sex -- men just need a place." Ring Lardner "A good many young writers make the mistake of enclosing a stamped, self-addressed envelope, big enough for the manuscript to come back in. This is too much of a temptation to the editor." Confucius "He who learns but does not think, is lost! He who thinks but does not learn is in great danger." Oscar Wilde "Experience is simply the name we give our mistakes." Laurence Peter "A man doesn't know what he knows until he knows what he doesn't know." Johnny Carson "If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead." Salman Rushdie "Our lives teach us who we are." Saint Augustine "Unless you believe, you will not understand." William Shakespeare "In time we hate that which we often fear." Benjamin Franklin "How many observe Christ's birthday! How few, his precepts! O! 'tis easier to keep holidays than commandments." Ernest Hemingway "Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut." Stephen Hawking "The whole history of science has been the gradual realization that events do not happen in an arbitrary manner, but that they reflect a certain underlying order, which may or may not be divinely inspired." Victor Hugo "You punch me, I punch back. I do not believe it's good for ones self-respect to be a punching bag." Thomas Jefferson "Nothing gives one person so much advantage over another as to remain always cool and unruffled under all circumstances." Oscar Wilde "The public is wonderfully tolerant. It forgives everything except genius." Oscar Wilde "Those who are faithful know only the trivial side of love: it is the faithless who know love's tragedies." Aristotle "Bashfulness is an ornament to youth, but a reproach to old age." Herbert Hoover "Where there is a lack of honor in government, the morals of the whole people are poisoned." Dan Quayle "We have to do more than just elect a new President if we truly want to change this country." Winston Churchill "When you have to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite." Colin Powell "Great leaders are almost always great simplifiers, who can cut through argument, debate, and doubt to offer a solution everybody can understand." Thomas Paine "A long habit of not thinking a thing wrong gives it a superficial appearance of being right." GK Chesterton "A room without books is like a body without a soul." Erna Bombeck "There are people who put their dreams in a little box and say, Yes, I've got dreams, of course I've got dreams. Then they put the box away and bring it out once in awhile to look in it, and yep, they're still there." C.S. Lewis "Don't use words too big for the subject. Don't say 'infinitely' when you mean 'very'; otherwise you'll have no word left when you want to talk about something really infinite." Fyodor Dostoevsky "The second half of a man's life is made up of nothing but the habits he has acquired during the first half." Isaac Newton "If I have seen further, it is by standing on the shoulders of giants." Roger Ebert "No matter what they're charging to get in, it's worth more to get out." Alexandre Dumas "Pure love and suspicion cannot dwell together: at the door where the latter enters, the former makes its exit." Charles Darwin "Man still bears in his bodily frame the indelible stamp of his lowly origin." Stephen King "The beauty of religious mania is that it has the power to explain everything. Once God (or Satan) is accepted as the first cause of everything which happens in the mortal world, nothing is left to chance... logic can be happily tossed out the window." Homer Simpson "Haven't you learned anything from that guy that gives those sermons in church? Captain What's-his-name. We live in a society of laws, why do you think I took you to see all those Police Academy movies? For fun? Well I didn't hear anybody laughing! Did you? Except at that guy who made sound effects. Vroom! Beep! Honk! Honk! Ha-ha. Where was I? Oh yeah, stay out of my booze!" Confucius "I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand." Ralph Waldo Emerson "It is not length of life, but depth of life." Dwight Eisenhower "Do not needlessly endanger your lives until I give you the signal." Dave Barry "Meetings are an addictive, highly self-indulgent activity that corporations and other large organizations habitually engage in only because they cannot actually masturbate." Ansel Adams "A great photograph is one that fully expresses what one feels, in the deepest sense, about what is being photographed." C.S. Lewis "A man can no more diminish God's glory by refusing to worship Him than a lunatic can put out the sun by scribbling the word, 'darkness' on the walls of his cell." Friedrich Nietzsche "Everything done in weakness fails. Moral: Do nothing." James Madison "A popular Government without popular information or the means of acquiring it, is but a Prologue to a Farce or a Tragedy or perhaps both. Knowledge will forever govern ignorance, and a people who mean to be their own Governors, must arm themselves with the power knowledge gives." Groucho Marx "Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife." Isaac Newton "No great discovery was ever made without a bold guess." Steve Martin "Comedy is the art of making people laugh without making them puke." Frank Lloyd Wright "I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters." Mark Twain "Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it's time to pause and reflect." Jean-Jacques Rousseau "What wisdom can you find that is greater than kindness?" Groucho Marx "Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted." Mother Teresa "The greatest destroyer of peace is abortion, because if a mother can kill her own child what is left for me to kill you and you to kill me? There is nothing between." Tacitus "Prosperity is the measure or touchstone of virtue, for it is less difficult to bear misfortune than to remain uncorrupted by pleasure." Charles Darwin "Ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge." Laurence Peter "America is a land of taxation that was founded to avoid taxation." Thomas Paine "The harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph." Friedrich Nietzsche "What is good? Everything that heightens the feeling of power in man, the will to power, power itself." C.S. Lewis "The gap between those who worship different gods is not so wide as the gap between those who worship and those who don't." Henry Kissinger "The task of the leader is to get his people from where they are to where they have not been." Henry Kissinger "If the businessman would stop talking like a computer printout or a page from the corporate annual report, other people would stop thinking he had a cash register for a heart." Isaac Asimov "The Law of conservation of energy tells us we can't get something for nothing, but we refuse to believe it." John Adams "I must study politics and war that my sons may have liberty to study mathematics and philosophy. My sons ought to study mathematics and philosophy, geography, natural history, naval architecture, navigation, commerce and agriculture in order to give their children a right to study painting, poetry, music, architecture, statuary, tapestry, and porcelain." George Orwell "People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf." Stephen King "Talent is cheaper than table salt. What separates the talented individual from the successful one is a lot of hard work." Robert Frost "A liberal is a man too broadminded to take his own side in a quarrel." Abraham Lincoln "My dream is of a place and a time where America will once again be seen as the last best hope of earth." Thomas Jefferson "Our liberty depends on the freedom of the press, and that cannot be limited without being lost." Napoleon Bonaparte "The best way to keep one's word is not to give it." Thomas Edison "Opportunity is missed by most people because it comes dressed in overalls and looks like work." Woody Allen "To I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition." Charles Darwin "The fact of evolution is the backbone of biology, and biology is thus in the peculiar position of being a science founded on an improved theory, is it then a science or faith?" Christopher Morley "There is only one rule for being a good talker - learn to listen." Author Unknown "Love is a verb." Saint Augustine "Never judge a philosophy by its abuse." GK Chesterton "Love means loving the unlovable - or it is no virtue at all." Abraham Lincoln "No matter how much cats fight, there always seem to be plenty of kittens." George MacDonald "Friends, if we be honest with ourselves, we shall be honest with each other." George Bernard Shaw "Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh." GK Chesterton "Women have a thirst for order and beauty as for something physical; there is a strange female power of hating ugliness and waste as good men can only hate sin and bad men virtue." Dave Barry "We humans do not need to leave Earth to get to a hostile, deadly, alien environment; we already have Miami." Helen Keller "I do not want the peace that passeth understanding, I want the understanding that brings peace." Mark Twain "Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint." Jack Handey "Ambition is like a frog sitting on a Venus's-flytrap. The flytrap can bite and bite, but it won't bother the frog because it only has little tiny plant teeth. But some other stuff could happen and it could be like ambition." Simeon Strunsky "Famous remarks are very seldom quoted correctly." George Carlin "I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death." Oliver Wendell Holmes "Death tugs at my ear and says: "Live, I am coming."" Richard Nixon "The greatness comes not when things always go good for you. But the greatness comes when you're really tested, when you take some knocks, some disappointments when sadness comes. Because only if you've been in the deepest valley can you ever know how magnificent it is to be on the highest mountain." Christopher Morley "Act like you expect to get into the end zone." Francis Bacon "Reading makes a full man; conference a ready man; and writing an exact man." Oscar Wilde "True friends stab you in the front." Ed Gardner "Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings." Mark Twain "The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up." Thomas Jefferson "I have ever deemed it more honorable and more profitable, too, to set a good example than to follow a bad one." Mark Twain "Sacred cows make the best hamburger." Billy Crystal "Women need a reason to have sex -- men just need a place." Benjamin Franklin "Beauty and folly are old companions." Groucho Marx "Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies." Marcel Proust "It is often hard to bear the tears that we ourselves have caused." Jerry Bowyer "Have you ever heard people say 'don't sweat the details'? Well, they're wrong: sweat the details. They have a name for people who sweat the details: millionaires." Ronald Reagan "One definition of an economist is somebody who sees something happen in practice and wonders if it will work in theory." Thomas Paine "Government, even in its best state, is but a necessary evil; in its worst state, an intolerable one." Ansel Adams "You don't take a photograph, you make it." Marcel Proust "Like many intellectuals, he was incapable of saying a simple thing in a simple way." Dorothy Parker "If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to." Rudyard Kipling "I keep six honest serving-men (They taught me all I knew); Their names are What and Why and When And How and Where and Who." Yogi Berra "It ain't over till it's over." Elbert Hubbard "The object of teaching a child is to enable him to get along without a teacher." Robert Frost "Don't ever take a fence down until you know why it was put up." Mark Twain "We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it - and stop there; lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stove-lid. She will never sit down on a hot stove-lid again - and that is well; but also she will never sit down on a cold one anymore." Bertrand Russell "A life without adventure is likely to be unsatisfying, but a life in which adventure is allowed to take whatever form it will is sure to be short." Abraham Lincoln "If destruction be our lot, we must ourselves be its author and finisher. As a nation of freemen, we must live through all time, or die by suicide." Albert Einstein "The man who regards life as meaningless is not merely unfortunate, but almost disqualified for life." Kahlil Gibran "If you love somebody, let them go, for if they return, they were always yours. And if they don't, they never were." Mahatma Gandhi "First they ignore you, then they ridicule you, then they fight you, then you win." Baltasar Gracian "Always leave something to wish for; otherwise you will be miserable from your very happiness." Benjamin Franklin "By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail." Tom Clancy "The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense." Bill Lee "Baseball is the belly-button of our society." Charles Darwin "In the struggle for survival, the fittest win out at the expense of their rivals because they succeed in adapting themselves best to their environment." C.S. Lewis "A great many of those who 'debunk' traditional...values have in the background values of their own which they believe to be immune from the debunking process." Franklin Jones "An atheist is one who hopes the Lord will do nothing to disturb his disbelief." Mahatma Gandhi "Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever." Ronald Reagan "Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first." Ralph Waldo Emerson "Friendship, like the immortality of the soul, is too good to be believed. When friendships are real, they are not glass threads or frost work, but the solidest things we know." Johann Wolfgang von Goethe "Divide and rule, a sound motto. Unite and lead, a better one." Albert Einstein "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity." Ronald Reagan "We will always remember. We will always be proud. We will always be prepared, so we may always be free." Thomas Sowell "I have always been offended by the song that says, 'Everything is beautiful in its own way.' If everything is beautiful, then the word 'beautiful' has no meaning. If everything were purple, there would be no word 'purple' in the language because it would not distinguish one thing from another." Emile Zola "The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work." George Bernard Shaw "Love is a gross exaggeration of the difference between one person and everybody else." Satchel Paige "Don't look back; they may be gaining on you." John Adams "Had I been chosen President again, I am certain I could not have lived another year." Oliver Wendell Holmes "I don't generally feel anything until noon, then it's time for my nap." Tommy Lasorda "There are three types of baseball players: those who make things happen, those who watch it happen, and those who wonder what happens." Ian Fleming "Men want a woman whom they can turn on and off like a light switch." Mark Twain "I believe that our Heavenly Father invented man because he was disappointed in the monkey." Steven Wright "I broke a mirror the other day. I'm supposed to get seven years of bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five." Muhammad Ali "My toughest fight was with my first wife." Yogi Berra "Little League baseball is a good thing 'cause it keeps the parents off the streets and it keeps the kids out of the house." Frank Lloyd Wright "Bureaucrats: they are dead at 30 and buried at 60. They are like custard pies; you can't nail them to a wall." Martin Luther King Jr. "Before the Pilgrims landed at Plymouth, we were here. Before the pen of Jefferson etched across the pages of history the majestic words of the Declaration of Independence, we were here. If the inexpressible cruelties of slavery could not stop us, the opposition we now face will surely fail." Benjamin Franklin "A penny saved is a penny earned." Oscar Wilde "An engagement should come on a young girl as a surprise, pleasant or unpleasant, as the case may be. It is hardly a matter that she could be allowed to arrange for herself." T.S. Eliot "If you desire to drain to the dregs the fullest cup of scorn and hatred that a fellow human being can pour out for you, let a young mother hear you call dear baby "it."" Robert Southey "No distance of place or lapse of time can lessen the friendship of those who are thoroughly persuaded of each other's worth." Dwight Eisenhower "I deplore the need or the use of troops anywhere to get American citizens to obey the orders of constituted courts." Thomas Jefferson "The spirit of resistance to government is so valuable on certain occasions that I wish it to be always kept alive. It will often be exercised when wrong, but better so than not to be exercised at all." Ansel Adams "There are always two people in every picture: the photographer and the viewer." Sigmund Freud "In the small matters trust the mind, in the large ones the heart." Benjamin Disraeli "Duty cannot exist without faith." Roger Ebert "The MPAA rates this PG-13. It is too vulgar for anyone under 13, and too dumb for anyone over 13." Oliver Wendell Holmes "Between two groups of people who want to make inconsistent kinds of worlds, I see no remedy but force." Henry Thoreau "It is not what you look at, but what you see." T.S. Eliot "The last temptation is the greatest treason: to do the right deed for the wrong reason." Woody Allen "Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go, it's pretty damn good." Stephen King "It's better to be good than evil, but one achieves goodness at a terrific cost." WT Purkiser "Not what we say about our blessings, but how we use them, is the true measure of our thanksgiving." Elbert Hubbard "Life in abundance comes only through great love." George Washington "Happiness and moral duty are inseparably connected." Jesse Jackson "Leadership has a harder job to do than just choose sides. It must bring sides together." Colman McCarthy "Everyone's a pacifist between wars. It's like being a vegetarian between meals." Marcus Aurelius "In the life of a man, his time is but a moment...his sense, a dim rushlight. All that is body is as coursing waters...all that is of the soul, as dreams, and vapors." C.S. Lewis "What seem our worst prayers may really be, in God's eyes, our best. Those, I mean, which are least supported by devotional feeling. For these may come from a deeper level than feeling. God sometimes seems to speak to us most intimately when He catches us, as it were, off our guard." Elbert Hubbard "Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped." Ambrose Bierce "Wedding: a ceremony at which two persons undertake to become one, one undertakes to become nothing, and nothing undertakes to become supportable." Adolf Hitler "Struggle is the father of all things. It is not by the principles of humanity that man lives or is able to preserve himself above the animal world, but solely by means of the most brutal struggle. If you do not fight, life will never be won." Albert Einstein "How I wish that somewhere there existed an island for those who are wise and of goodwill! In such a place even I would be an ardent patriot." Lauren Bacall "I am not a has-been. I am a will be." Margaret Thatcher "Democratic nations must try to find ways to starve the terrorist and the hijacker of the oxygen of publicity on which they depend." Wayne Dyer "Did you ever notice how difficult it is to argue with someone who is not obsessed with being right?" Christopher Morley "Think, every day, something no one else is thinking." Thomas Jefferson "The force of public opinion cannot be resisted when permitted freely to be expressed. The agitation it produces must be submitted to." T.S. Eliot "Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go." Ralph Waldo Emerson "A friend is one before whom you may think aloud." Dorothy Parker "I don't care what is written about me, so long as it isn't true." Edmund Burke "Religion is essentially the art and the theory of the remaking of man. Man is not a finished creation." Christopher Morley "Life is a foreign language; all men mispronounce it." Adam Smith "Such is the delicacy of man alone, that no object is produced to his liking. He finds that in everything there is need for improvement. The whole industry of human life is employed not in procuring the supply of our three humble necessities, food, clothes and lodging, but in procuring the conveniences of it according to the nicety and delicacy of our tastes." C.S. Lewis "There is wishful thinking in Hell as well as on Earth." Dennis Potter "Religion to me has always been the wound, not the bandage." Oliver Wendell Holmes "The greatest thing in this world is not so much where we are, but in what direction we are moving." Erna Bombeck "Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other." Clarence Darrow "We know life is futile. A man who considers that his life is of very wonderful importance is awfully close to a padded cell." Dante Alighieri "The secret of getting things done is to act!" Niels Bohr "Of course I don't believe in it. But I understand that it brings you luck whether you believe in it or not." George Washington "The constitution vests the power of declaring war in Congress; therefore no offensive expedition of importance can be undertaken until after they shall have deliberated upon the subject and authorized such a measure." Emily Dickinson "How strange that nature does not knock, and yet does not intrude!" C.S. Lewis "It is in their 'good' characters that novelists make, unawares, the most shocking self-revelations." Bill Cosby "When you become senile, you won't know it." Carl Sagan "Extraordinary claims require extraordinary proof." W.C. Fields "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it." C.S. Lewis "Those who would most scornfully repudiate Christianity as a mere 'opiate of the people' have a contempt for the rich, that is, for all mankind except the poor." Theodore Roosevelt "This truth should be kept constantly in mind by every free people desiring to preserve the sanity and poise indispensable to the permanent success of self-government." Bertrand Russell "Men are born ignorant, not stupid; they are made stupid by education." Author Unknown "Can't live with 'em. Can't legally torture them to death." Dorothy Parker "Every year, back comes Spring, with nasty little birds yapping their fool heads off and the ground all mucked up with plants." C.S. Lewis "If you look for truth, you may find comfort in the end; if you look for comfort you will not get either comfort or truth only soft soap and wishful thinking to begin, and in the end, despair." Mark Twain "Facts are stubborn, but statistics are more pliable." Isaac Newton "A man may imagine things that are false, but he can only understand things that are true, for if the things be false, the apprehension of them is not understanding." George Orwell "Pacifism is objectively pro-fascist. This is elementary common sense. If you hamper the war effort of one side, you automatically help out that of the other. Nor is there any real way of remaining outside such a war as the present one. In practice, 'he that is not with me is against me.'"" Plato "Must not all things at the last be swallowed up in death?" Henny Youngman "I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back." Johnny Carson "For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off." Dwight Eisenhower "Peace and justice are two sides of the same coin." Jesse Jackson "In politics, an organized minority is a political majority." John Adams "Had I been chosen President again, I am certain I could not have lived another year." Rudyard Kipling "Take everything you like seriously, except yourselves." Clarence Thomas "I don't believe in quotas. America was founded on a philosophy of individual rights, not group rights." Mark Twain "What would men be without women? Scarce, sir, mighty scarce." C.S. Lewis "We live, in fact, in a world starved for solitude, silence, and private: and therefore starved for meditation and true friendship." Irv Kupcinet "An optimist is a person who starts a new diet on Thanksgiving Day." Thomas Jefferson "The force of public opinion cannot be resisted when permitted freely to be expressed. The agitation it produces must be submitted to." Pablo Picasso "Bad artists copy. Great artists steal." Calvin Coolidge "Heroism is not only in the man, but in the occasion." Aldous Huxley "Speed provides the one great modern pleasure." Charles Schulz "Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia." Benjamin Franklin "The greatest monarch on the proudest throne is obliged to sit upon his own arse." Chris Bowyer "Half of maturity consists of knowing when and how to be immature." Laurence Peter "Democracy is a process by which people are free to choose the man who will get the blame." Henry Mencken "Religion is fundamentally opposed to everything I hold in veneration - courage, clear thinking, honesty, fairness, and, above all, love of the truth." Frank Moore Colby "Every improvement in communication makes the bore more terrible." Robert Frost "A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age." Galileo Galilei "I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use." C.S. Lewis "Telling us to obey instinct is like telling us to obey 'people.' People say different things: so do instincts. Our instincts are at war. Each instinct, if you listen to it, will claim to be gratified at the expense of the rest." Robin Williams "She is not perfect. You are not perfect. The question is whether or not you are perfect for each other." Oscar Wilde "Anybody can make history; only a great man can write it." Dwight Eisenhower "The only way to win World War III is to prevent it." Confucius "By three methods we may learn wisdom: First, by reflection, which is noblest; Second, by imitation, which is easiest; and third by experience, which is the bitterest." Muhammad Ali "I don't always know what I'm talking about but I know I'm right." Henry Thoreau "If we will be quiet and ready enough, we shall find compensation in every disappointment." Elbert Hubbard "To avoid criticism do nothing, say nothing, be nothing." Winston Churchill "The greatest lesson in life is to know that even fools are right sometimes." Friedrich Nietzsche "What is bad? Everything that is born of weakness." Benjamin Franklin "I wake up every morning at nine and grab for the morning paper. Then I look at the obituary page. If my name is not on it, I get up." Frank Lloyd Wright "TV is chewing gum for the eyes." Groucho Marx "I would not join any club that would have someone like me for a member." Henry Kissinger "Power is the ultimate aphrodisiac." Johann Wolfgang von Goethe "We are never deceived; we deceive ourselves." Frederick Engels "The Communists disdain to conceal their views and aims. They openly declare that their ends can be attained only by the forcible overthrow of all existing conditions. Let the ruling classes tremble at a communistic revolution. The proletarians have nothing to lose but their chains. They have a world to win.Workers of all countries...unite!" Dick Cheney "The days of looking the other way while despotic regimes trample human rights, rob their nations' wealth, and then excuse their failings by feeding their people a steady diet of anti-Western hatred are over." George Patton "Watch what people are cynical about, and one can often discover what they lack." J.B.S. Haldane "I have come to the conclusion that my subjective account of my motivation is largely mythical on almost all occasions. I don't know why I do things." Fulton J. Sheen "Pride is an admission of weakness; it secretly fears all competition and dreads all rivals." Woody Allen "Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it." Franklin D. Roosevelt "The only limit to our realization of tomorrow will be our doubts of today." Frank Tyger "Be a good listener. Your ears will never get you in trouble." Hunter S. Thompson "No man is so foolish but he may sometimes give another good counsel, and no man so wise that he may not easily err if he takes no other counsel than his own. He that is taught only by himself has a fool for a master." Helen Keller "The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart." Buckminster Fuller "If I ran a school, I'd give the average grade to the ones who gave me all the right answers, for being good parrots. I'd give the top grades to those who made a lot of mistakes and told me about them, and then told me what they learned from them." Theodore Roosevelt "War with evil; but show no spirit of malignity toward the man who may be responsible for the evil. Put it out of his power to do wrong." Theodore Roosevelt "Success, the real success, does not depend upon the position you hold but upon how you carry yourself in that position." Hillary Clinton "Don't confuse having a career with having a life." Rita Rudner "Have children while your parents are still young enough to take care of them." Alexandre Dumas "A person who doubts himself is like a man who would enlist in the ranks of his enemies and bear arms against himself. He makes his failure certain by himself being the first person to be convinced of it." GK Chesterton "Fallacies do not cease to be fallacies because they become fashions." T.S. Eliot "Business today consists in persuading crowds." Francis William Bourdillon "Whenever you want to marry someone, go have lunch with his ex-wife." J.R.R. Tolkien "If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world." Leonardo da Vinci "All our knowledge has its origin in our perceptions." Nicolo Machiavelli "War should be the only study of a prince." Marcel Proust "Let us be grateful to people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom." C.S. Lewis "All that is not eternal is eternally out of date." George Bernard Shaw "Baseball has the great advantage over cricket of being sooner ended." Homer Simpson "When I first heard that Marge was joining the police academy, I thought it would be fun and zany, like that movie Spaceballs. But instead it was dark and disturbing. Like that movie -- Police Academy." Dave Barry "I argue very well. Ask any of my remaining friends. I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don't even invite me." Elbert Hubbard "So long as governments set the example of killing their enemies, private individuals will occasionally kill theirs." Samuel Johnson "Hope is itself a species of happiness, and, perhaps, the chief happiness which this world affords: but, like all other pleasures immoderately enjoyed, the excesses of hope must be expiated by pain; and expectations improperly indulged must end in disappointment." Sydney Harris "Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable." Erna Bombeck "There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child." Rita Mae Brown "The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans are suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you." GK Chesterton "All but the hard hearted man must be torn with pity for this pathetic dilemma of the rich man, who has to keep the poor man just stout enough to do the work and just thin enough to have to do it." William Blake "What is now proved was once only imagined." George Bernard Shaw "The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it." GK Chesterton "The Christian ideal has not been tried and found wanting; it has been found difficult and left untried." Ernest Hemingway "The world is a fine place, and worth fighting for." Ralph Waldo Emerson "Courage consists in the power of self-recovery." Ronald Reagan "I think the best possible social program is a job." Socrates "Bad men live that they may eat and drink, whereas good men eat and drink that they may live." Thomas Aquinas "Love takes up where knowledge leaves off." Edmund Burke "Toleration is good for all, or it is good for none." C.S. Lewis "There is wishful thinking in Hell as well as on Earth." David Gemmell "A man who never made a mistake never made anything." Alexis de Tocqueville "In politics shared hatreds are almost always the basis of friendships." Stephen King "You can't deny laughter; when it comes, it plops down in your favorite chair and stays as long as it wants." Ansel Adams "A true photograph need not be explained, nor can it be contained in words." Vince Lombardi "The spirit, the will to win, and the will to excel are the things that endure. These qualities are so much more important than the events that occur." Steven Wright "If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?" Paul Harvey "In times like these, it helps to recall that there have always been times like these." John F. Kennedy "The time to repair the roof is when the sun is shining." Aristotle "One swallow does not make a summer." Ronald Reagan "In an atmosphere of liberty, artists and patrons are free to think the unthinkable and create the audacious; they are free to make both horrendous mistakes and glorious celebrations." Saint Augustine "God is more truly imagined than expressed, and He exists more truly than He is imagined." Winston Churchill "I am easily satisfied with the very best." Marlon Brando "If you're successful, acting is about as soft a job as anybody could ever wish for. But if you're unsuccessful it's worse than having a skin disease." T.S. Eliot "It's strange that words are so inadequate. Yet, like the asthmatic struggling for breath, so the lover must struggle for words." Ambrose Bierce "Philosophy: A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing." Oscar Wilde "There is no such thing as a moral or an immoral book. Books are well written, or badly written." Bertrand Russell "Philosophers, for the most part, are constitutionally timid, and dislike the unexpected. Few of them would be genuinely happy as pirates or burglars. Accordingly they invent systems which make the future calculable, at least in its main outlines." GK Chesterton "An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered; an adventure is an inconvenience rightly considered." Napoleon Bonaparte "Nothing is more difficult, and therefore more precious, than to be able to decide." Benjamin Franklin "It is easier to prevent bad habits than to break them." Marcel Proust "Happiness serves hardly any other purpose than to make unhappiness possible." Marcel Proust "As soon as one is unhappy one becomes moral." Dorothy Parker "That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment." Carl Sagan "Imagination will often carry us to worlds that never were. But without it, we go nowhere." Harry Truman "It is amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the credit." Woodrow Wilson "Never murder a man who is committing suicide." Patrick Henry "It is when people forget God that tyrants forge their chains." Aristotle "The educated differ from the uneducated as much as the living from the dead." Leon Trotsky "Learning carries within itself certain dangers because out of necessity one has to learn from one's enemies." Henry Kissinger "The task of the leader is to get his people from where they are to where they have not been." Thomas Paine "What we obtain too cheap, we esteem too lightly." Daniel Webster "Whatever makes men good Christians, makes them good citizens." Henry Kissinger "There comes a time in every rightly constructed boy's life when he has a raging desire to go somewhere and dig for hidden treasure." Ernest Hemingway "Writing, at its best, is a lonely life. Organizations for writers palliate the writer's loneliness, but I doubt if they improve his writing. He grows in public stature as he sheds his loneliness and often his work deteriorates. For he does his work alone and if he is a good enough writer he must face eternity, or the lack of it, each day." Pablo Picasso "Youth has no age." Dave Barry "Admit it, sport-utility-vehicle owners! It's shaped a little differently, but it's a station wagon! And you do not drive it across rivers! You drive it across the Wal-Mart parking lot!" Jack Nicholson "A star on a movie set is like a time bomb. That bomb has got to be defused so people can approach it without fear." Woody Allen "Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go, it's pretty damn good." Robert Frost "No tears in the writer, no tears in the reader. No surprise in the writer, no surprise in the reader." Oscar Wilde "A dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world." William Shakespeare "Though I am not naturally honest, I am sometimes by chance." Bill Gates "The first rule of any technology used in a business is that automation applied to an efficient operation will magnify the efficiency. The second is that automation applied to an inefficient operation will magnify the inefficiency." Benjamin Disraeli "Where knowledge ends, religion begins." Patrick Henry "It is when people forget God that tyrants forge their chains." Reinhold Niebuhr "No virtuous act is quite as virtuous from the standpoint of our friend or foe, as from our own. Therefore, we are saved by the final form of love which is forgiveness." Ronald Reagan "There are some who've forgotten why we have a military. It's not to promote war; it's to be prepared for peace." Benjamin Disraeli "I have always thought that every woman should marry, and no man." Leo Tolstoy "Nietzsche was stupid and abnormal." Heywood Broun "God, as some cynic has said, is always on the side which has the best football coach." Jesse Jackson "America is not like a blanket: one piece of unbroken cloth, the same color, the same texture, the same size. America is more like a quilt: many patches, many pieces, many colors, many sizes, all woven and held together by a common thread." Aldous Huxley "Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored." Dave Barry "People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them." Albert Einstein "If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?" Bill Cosby "Anyone can dabble, but once you've made that commitment, your blood has that particular thing in it, and it's very hard for people to stop you." Saint Augustine "This is the very perfection of a man, to find out his own imperfections." Ronald Reagan "The West will not contain Communism, it will transcend Communism. We will not bother to denounce it, we'll dismiss it as a sad, bizarre chapter in human history whose last pages are even now being written." George Bernard Shaw "A mind of the calibre of mine cannot derive its nutriment from cows." Adlai Stevenson "A free society is one where it is safe to be unpopular." Mark Twain "Man was made at the end of the week's work when God was tired." Thomas Edison "There is no substitute for hard work." Winston Churchill "If you go on with this nuclear arms race, all you are going to do is make the rubble bounce." Homer Simpson "If he's so smart, how come he's dead?" Samuel Johnson "Hope is itself a species of happiness, and, perhaps, the chief happiness which this world affords: but, like all other pleasures immoderately enjoyed, the excesses of hope must be expiated by pain; and expectations improperly indulged must end in disappointment." Adam Smith "How selfish soever man may be supposed, there are evidently some principles in his nature, which interest him in the fortune of others, and render their happiness necessary to him, though he derives nothing from it, except the pleasure of seeing it." Bertrand Russell "The point of philosophy is to start with something so simple as not to seem worth stating, and to end with something so paradoxical that no one will believe it." Albert Einstein "The world is a dangerous place, not because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing." C.S. Lewis "Don't use words too big for the subject. Don't say 'infinitely' when you mean 'very'; otherwise you'll have no word left when you want to talk about something really infinite." Dwight Eisenhower "Politics is a profession; a serious, complicated and, in its true sense, a noble one." Albert Camus "There is but one truly serious philosophical problem, and that is suicide. Judging whether life is or is not worth living amounts to answering the fundamental question of philosophy." Robert Heinlein "The most ridiculous concept ever perpetrated by Homo Sapiens is that the Lord God of Creation, Shaper and Ruler of the Universes, wants the sacharrine adoration of his creations, that he can be persuaded by their prayers, and becomes petulant if he does not recieve this flattery. Yet this ridiculous notion, without one real shred of evidence to bolster it, has gone on to found one of the oldest, largest and least productive industries in history." Mark Twain "If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way." Bertrand Russell "It is preoccupation with possessions, more than anything else, that prevents us from living freely and nobly." Oscar Wilde "Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months." Billy Graham "There is no joy in life like the joy of sharing." Woodrow Wilson "Our industries have expanded to such a point that they will burst their jackets if they cannot find a free outlet to the markets of the world. Our domestic markets no longer suffice. We need foreign markets." Dorothy Parker "I might repeat to myself slowly and soothingly, a list of quotations beautiful from minds profound - if I can remember any of the damn things." Aldous Huxley "To us, the moment 8:17 A.M. means something - something very important, if it happens to be the starting time of our daily train. To our ancestors, such an odd eccentric instant was without significance - did not even exist. In inventing the locomotive, Watt and Stevenson were part inventors of time." Marguerite Gardiner Blessington "There is no cosmetic for beauty like happiness." Ronald Reagan "We will always remember. We will always be proud. We will always be prepared, so we may always be free." Bill Gates "Your most unhappy customers are your greatest source of learning." Charles Dickens "I have always thought of Christmas time as a good time. A kind, forgiving, charitable, pleasant time. The only time I know of, in the long calendar of the year, when men and women seem by one consent to open their shut-up hearts freely." Hubert H. Humphrey "We need an America with the wisdom of experience. But we must not let America grow old in spirit." Elbert Hubbard "The line between failure and success is so fine that we scarcely know when we pass it; so fine that we are often on the line and do not know it." Henry Mencken "Freedom of the press is limited to those who own one." Rodney Dangerfield "I just finished my first book. Pretty soon, I'm gonna read another." Adam Smith "The difference between the most dissimilar characters, between a philosopher and a common street porter, for example, seems to arise not so much from nature, as from habit, custom, and education." Benjamin Franklin "Beware of little expenses. A small leak will sink a great ship." Abraham Lincoln "The best thing about the future is that it comes only one day at a time." Oliver Wendell Holmes "Chicago sounds rough to the maker of verse. One comfort we have: Cincinnati sounds worse." Oscar Wilde "It is only about things that do not interest one, that one can give a really unbiased opinion; and this is no doubt the reason why an unbiased opinion is always valueless." Socrates "What you cannot enforce, do not command." John Donne "Love is agrowing, to full constant light; and his first minute, after noon, is night." Thomas Edison "I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work." Edmund Burke "All that is required for evil to prevail is for good men to do nothing." William Congreve "Heav'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn'd, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn'd." Stanley Kubrick "People can misinterpret almost anything so that it coincides with views they already hold. They take from art what they already believe." C.S. Lewis "You would not call a man humane for ceasing to set mousetraps if he did so because he believed there were no mice in the house." C.S. Lewis "It was when I was happiest that I longed most...The sweetest thing in all my life has been the longing...to find the place where all the beauty came from." W.J. Cameron "There has been only one Christmas - the rest are anniversaries." Charles Schulz "There's a difference between a philosophy and a bumper sticker." GK Chesterton "The only right way of telling a story is to begin at the beginning--at the beginning of the world. Therefore all books have to be begun in the wrong way for the sake of brevity." Pierre Berton "A Canadian is someone who knows how to make love in a canoe." Alfred Hitchcock "There is no terror in the bang, only in the anticipation of it." Thomas Edison "Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up." Ellen DeGeneres "My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-five now, and we don't know where the hell she is." Muhammad Ali "I've seen George Foreman shadow boxing and the shadow won." Jack Handey "To me, clowns aren't funny. In fact, they're kinda scary. I've wondered where this started, and I think it goes back to the time I went to the circus and a clown killed my dad." John Adams "Had I been chosen President again, I am certain I could not have lived another year." George Burns "I would rather be a failure doing something I love than be a sucess doing something I hate." Charles Darwin "A scientific man ought to have no wishes, no affections, -- a mere heart of stone." Irv Kupcinet "An optimist is a person who starts a new diet on Thanksgiving Day." Martin Luther King Jr. "A riot is the language of the unheard." Bertrand Russell "To teach how to live with uncertainty, yet without being paralyzed by hesitation, is perhaps the chief thing that philosophy can do." C.S. Lewis "The Psalmists in telling everyone to praise God are doing what all men do when they speak of what they care about." Albert Einstein "When the solution is simple, God is answering." Adlai Stevenson "America is much more than a geographical fact. It is a political and moral fact - the first community in which men set out in principle to institutionalize freedom, responsible government, and human equality." George Bernard Shaw "Which painting in the National Gallery would I save if there was a fire? The one nearest the door of course." Oscar Wilde "A dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world." George Burns "Sex at age ninety is like trying to shoot pool with a rope." C.S. Lewis "Human beings, all over the earth, have this curious idea that they ought to behave in a certain way, and can't really get rid of it." Thomas Jefferson "I have sworn upon the altar of God, eternal hostility against every form of tyranny over the mind of man." Spiro Agnew "The government at Washington does live. It lives in the pages of our Constitution and in the hearts of our citizens, and there it will always be safe." Will Rogers "Politics has got so expensive that it takes lots of money to even get beat with." Joseph Addison "A woman seldom asks advice before she has bought her wedding clothes." Dwight Eisenhower "I feel impelled to speak today in a language that in a sense is new-one which I, who have spent so much of my life in the military profession, would have preferred never to use. That new language is the language of atomic warfare." Armand Nicholi Jr. "...I hope that we will hear no more of all ways of life and all cultures being equally valid, which none of us truly believes but which many people mouth in order to appear broad-minded and generous of spirit." William Rotsler "Anyone without a sense of humor is at the mercy of everyone else." Dave Barry "A guy could have one major limb lying on the ground a full ten feet from the rest of his body, and he'd claim it was 'just a sprain'." C.S. Lewis "Surely what a man does when he is caught off his guard is the best evidence as to what sort of man he is." Bill Clinton "Never pick a fight with people who buy ink by the barrel." Steve Martin "There is one thing I would break up over, and that is if she caught me with another woman. I won't stand for that." Samuel Adams "If ye love wealth greater than liberty, the tranquility of servitude greater than the animating contest for freedom, go home from us in peace. We seek not your counsel, nor your arms. Crouch down and lick the hand that feeds you; May your chains set lightly upon you, and may posterity forget that ye were our countrymen." George Orwell "Speaking the Truth in times of universal deceit is a revolutionary act." Robert Frost "A poem begins as a lump in the throat, a sense of wrong, a homesickness, a lovesickness." Abraham Lincoln "America will never be destroyed from the outside. If we falter and lose our freedoms, it will be because we destroyed ourselves." Christopher Morley "There is only one rule for being a good talker - learn to listen." Siddhartha Buddha "However many holy words you read, however many you speak, what good will they do you if you do not act on upon them?" Benjamin Franklin "I saw few die of hunger; of eating, a hundred thousand." C.S. Lewis "Heaven offers nothing that a mercenary soul can desire." Winston Churchill "Never give in--never, never, never, never, in nothing great or small, large or petty, never give in except to convictions of honour and good sense. Never yield to force; never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy." Dave Barry "I argue very well. Ask any of my remaining friends. I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don't even invite me." C.S. Lewis "No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear. I am not afraid, but the sensation is like being afraid. The same fluttering in the stomach, the same restlessness, the yawning. I keep on swallowing." Dave Barry "Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing." James Madison "You give me a credit to which I have no claim in calling me 'the writer of the Constitution of the United States.' This was not, like the fabled Goddess of Wisdom, the offspring of a single brain. It ought to be regarded as the work of many heads and many hands." Henry Ford "Before everything else, getting ready is the secret of success." Oscar Wilde "More than half modern culture depends on what one shouldn't read." Indira Gandhi "There are two kinds of people, those who do the work and those who take the credit. Try to be in the first group; there is less competition there." Otto von Bismarck "When you want to fool the world, tell the truth." Eleanor Roosevelt "The giving of love is an education in itself." Ansel Adams "A photograph is usually looked at - seldom looked into." Ernest Hemingway "Wars are caused by undefended wealth." Christopher Morley "Humor is perhaps a sense of intellectual perspective: an awareness that some things are really important, others not; and that the two kinds are most oddly jumbled in everyday affairs." Eleanor Roosevelt "A little simplification would be the first step toward rational living, I think." George MacDonald "Friends, if we be honest with ourselves, we shall be honest with each other." Woody Allen "On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily lying down." William Jennings Bryan "Scientists make a guess and call it a hypothesis. 'Guess' is too short a word for a professor." H.G. Wells "Our true nationality is mankind." Benjamin Franklin "You may delay, but time will not." Abraham Lincoln "He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know." Casey Stengel "Without losers, where would the winners be?" Plato "No human thing is of serious importance." Patrick Henry "The battle, Sir, is not to the strong alone; it is to the vigilant, the active, the brave." Henny Youngman "My Grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle." Thomas Jefferson "Peace and friendship with all mankind is our wisest policy, and I wish we may be permitted to pursue it." William Jennings Bryan "The Rock of Ages is more important than the age of rocks." Charlie Chaplin "A day without laughter is a day wasted." Adolf Hitler "The great masses of the people will more easily fall victims to a big lie than to a small one." Dave Barry "I recently had my annual physical examination, which I get once every seven years, and when the nurse weighed me, I was shocked to discover how much stronger the Earth's gravitational pull has become since 1990." Stanley Kubrick "A film is - or should be - more like music than like fiction. It should be a progression of moods and feelings. The theme, what's behind the emotion, the meaning, all that comes later." Mark Twain "Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry." Oliver Wendell Holmes "When in doubt, do it." George Bernard Shaw "A true artist will let his wife starve, his children go barefoot, his mother drudge for his living at seventy, sooner than work at anything but his art." Dave Barry "There are many silly superstitions about lightning, and as a result many people - maybe even you - are terrified of it. You shouldn't worry. Thanks to modern science we now know that lightning is nothing more than huge chunks of electricity that can come out of the sky, anytime, anywhere, and kill you." Charles Caleb Colton "If you would be known, and not know, vegetate in a village; If you would know, and not be known, live in a city." George Washington "Few men have virtue to withstand the highest bidder." Benjamin Franklin "Money can help you to get medicines but not health. Money can help you to get soft pillows, but not sound sleep. Money can help you to get material comforts, but not eternal bliss. Money can help you to get ornaments, but not beauty. Money will help you to get an electric earphone, but not natural hearing. Attain the supreme wealth, wisdom, and you will have everything." Henry Mencken "It is the dull man who is always sure, and the sure man who is always dull." Robin Williams "Ah, yes, divorce...from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet." Rudyard Kipling "I keep six honest serving-men (They taught me all I knew); Their names are What and Why and When And How and Where and Who." Plato "The partisan, when he is engaged in a dispute, cares nothing about the rights of the question, but is anxious only to convince his hearers of his own assertions." Calvin Coolidge "Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan 'press on' has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race." Robert Frost "You don't have to deserve your mother's love. You have to deserve your father's." Martin Luther King Jr. "We must learn to live together as brothers, or perish together as fools." George Will "Football combines two of the worst things in American life. It is violence punctuated by committee meetings." Nathaniel Hawthorne "Happiness is a butterfly, which, when pursued, is always just beyond your grasp, but which, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you." Muhammad Ali "The fight is won or lost far away from the witnesses, behind the lines, in the gym, and out there on the road; long before I dance under those lights." Dalai Lama "Share your knowledge. It's a way to achieve immortality." Dale Carnegie "Do the hard jobs first. The easy jobs will take care of themselves." William Shakespeare "With the sleep of dreams comes nightmares." John Greenleaf Whittier "God's colors all are fast." Mae West "A man's kiss is his signature." Fran Lebowitz "Remember that as a teenager you are at the last stage of your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you." Niels Bohr "Your theory is crazy, but it's not crazy enough to be true." Michael Korda "Success on any major scale requires you to accept responsibility. In the final analysis, the one quality that all successful people have is the ability to take on responsibility." Jesse Jackson "Your children need your presence more than your presents." Oscar Wilde "True friends stab you in the front." Dave Barry "The ACLU is always yakking about the Constitution, and most of us are getting mighty tired of it. I mean, if the Constitution is so great, how come it was amended so many times? Huh?" Blaise Pascal "The heart has its reasons, of which the mind knows nothing." Jack Handey "If your kid makes one of those little homemade guitars out of a cigar box and rubber bands, don't let him just play it once or twice and then throw it away. Make him practice on it, every day, for about three hours a day. Later, he'll thank you." Mark Twain "Of the delights of this world man cares most for sexual intercourse, yet he has left it out of his heaven." Benjamin Franklin "For the want of a nail, the shoe was lost; for the want of a shoe the horse was lost; and for the want of a horse the rider was lost, being overtaken and slain by the enemy, all for the want of care about a horseshoe nail." Robert Frost "Too many poets delude themselves by thinking that the mind is dangerous and must be left out. Well, the mind is dangerous and must be left in." Walter Matthau "I'm number 10 at the box office. Right under Barbra Streisand. Can you imagine being under Barbra Streisand? Get me a bag. I may throw up." Albert Einstein "But could not our situation be compared to one of a menacing epidemic? People are unable to view this situation in its true light, for their eyes are blinded by passion. General fear and anxiety create hatred and aggressiveness. The adaptation to warlike aims and activities has corrupted the mentality of man; as a result, intelligent, objective and humane thinking has hardly any effect and is even suspected and persecuted as unpatriotic." Henry Thoreau "Men are born to succeed, not fail." James Michener "I'm not a very good writer, but I'm an excellent rewriter." Alexander Hamilton "Why has government been instituted at all? Because the passions of men will not conform to the dictates of reason and justice, without constraint." Oliver Wendell Holmes "The main part of intellectual education is not the acquisition of facts but learning how to make facts live." Thomas Hardy "The sudden disappointment of a hope leaves a scar which the ultimate fulfillment of that hope never entirely removes." Saint Augustine "Give me chastity and continence, but not yet." Booker T. Washington "No man, who continues to add something to the material, intellectual and moral well-being of the place in which he lives, is left long without proper reward." C.S. Lewis "Miracles are a retelling in small letters of the very same story which is written across the whole world in letters too large for some of us to see." Dave Barry "We should enact an 'e' tax. Government agents would roam the country looking for stores whose names contained any word that ended in an unnecessary 'e,' such as 'shoppe' or 'olde,' and the owners of these stores would be taxed at a flat rate of $50,000 per year per 'e.' We should also consider an additional $50,000 'ye' tax, so that the owner of a store called 'Ye Olde Shoppe' would have to fork over $150,000 a year. In extreme cases, such as 'Ye Olde Barne Shoppe,' the owner would simply be taken outside and shot." Stephen Hawking "My goal is simple. It is a complete understanding of the universe, why it is as it is and why it exists at all." Winston Churchill "He is a very modest man with a great deal to be modest about." Jesse Jackson "Our flag is red, white and blue, but our nation is a rainbow -- red, yellow, brown, black and white -- and we're all precious in God's sight." Samuel Adams "The natural liberty of man is to be free from any superior power on Earth, and not to be under the will or legislative authority of man, but only to have the law of nature for his rule." Winston Churchill "I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me." Rudyard Kipling "I keep six honest serving-men (They taught me all I knew); Their names are What and Why and When And How and Where and Who." Susan B. Anthony "Suffrage is the pivotal right." Robert Frost "Poetry is what gets lost in translation." Stephen King "Time takes it all, whether you want it to or not. Time takes it all, time bears it away, and in the end there is only darkness. Sometimes we find others in that darkness, and sometimes we lose them there again." Benjamin Franklin "He that lives upon hope will die fasting." Saint Augustine "The argument is at an end." Mark Twain "I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." Adam Smith "The difference between the most dissimilar characters, between a philosopher and a common street porter, for example, seems to arise not so much from nature, as from habit, custom, and education." Aristotle "Bad men are full of repentance." C.S. Lewis "Badness is only spoiled goodness." Adam Smith "The statesman who would attempt to direct private people in what manner they ought to employ their capitals, would not only load himeslf with a most unnecessary attention, but assume an authority which could safely be trusted to no council and senate whatever, and which would nowhere be so dangerous as in the hands of a man who had folly and presumption enough to fancy himself fit to exercise it." Dave Barry "It always rains on tents. Rainstorms will travel thousands of miles, against prevailing winds for the opportunity to rain on a tent." Edmund Burke "It is a general popular error to suppose the loudest complainers for the public to be the most anxious for its welfare." Jimi Hendrix "Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome." Elbert Hubbard "Everything comes too late for those who only wait." Dave Barry "Like many members of the uncultured, Cheez-It consuming public, I am not good at grasping modern art." Bill Gates "Your most unhappy customers are your greatest source of learning." Amy Bloom "Marriage is not a ritual or an end. It is a long, intricate, intimate dance together and nothing matters more than your own sense of balance and your choice of partner." Jesse Jackson "America is not like a blanket: one piece of unbroken cloth, the same color, the same texture, the same size. America is more like a quilt: many patches, many pieces, many colors, many sizes, all woven and held together by a common thread." Alexander Hamilton "Nobody expects to trust his body overmuch after the age of fifty." Winston Churchill "We shall not fail or falter; we shall not weeaken or tire. Give us the tools and we will finish the job." Dorothy Parker "I might repeat to myself slowly and soothingly, a list of quotations beautiful from minds profound - if I can remember any of the damn things." Margaret Thatcher "If you just set out to be liked, you would be prepared to compromise on anything at any time, and you would achieve nothing." Dwight Eisenhower "I hate war as only a soldier who has lived it can, only as one who has seen its brutality, its futility, its stupidity." T.S. Eliot "Poetry is not a turning loose of emotion, but an escape from emotion; it is not the expression of personality, but an escape from personality. But, of course, only those who have personality and emotions know what it means to want to escape from these things." Stephen King "The most important things are the hardest things to say. They are the things you get ashamed of because words diminish your feelings - words shrink things that seem timeless when they are in your head to no more than living size when they are brought out." Clarence Thomas "While the romanticized ideal of universal public education resonates with the cognoscenti who oppose vouchers, poor urban families just want the best education for their children, who will certainly need it to function in our high-tech and advanced society." Robert Frost "The father is always a Republican toward his son, and his mother's always a Democrat." William Jennings Bryan "No one can earn a million dollars honestly." Abraham Lincoln "Truth is generally the best vindication against slander." Yogi Berra "In baseball, you don't know nothin'." Oscar Levant "There is a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line." Malcolm Forbes "If you have a job without aggravation, you don't have a job." Winston Churchill "Americans can always be counted on to do the right thing...after they have exhausted all other possibilities." Alexander Pope "To err is human; to forgive is divine." Oliver Wendell Holmes "The mind of a bigot is like the pupil of the eye. The more light you shine on it, the more it will contract." Marcus Tullius Cicero "Times are bad. Children no longer obey their parents, and everyone is writing a book." Dwight Eisenhower "Do not needlessly endanger your lives until I give you the signal." Theodore Roosevelt "The only man who never makes a mistake is the man who never does anything." Niels Bohr "Anyone who says that they can contemplate quantum mechanics without becoming dizzy has not understood the concept in the least." Aristotle Onassis "If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning." John Adams "We have no government armed with power capable of contending with human passions unbridled by morality and religion. Avarice, ambition, revenge, or gallantry, would break the strongest cords of our Constitution as a whale goes through a net. Our Constitution was made only for a moral and religious people. It is wholly inadequate to the government of any other." George Dennison Prentice "Some people seem as if they can never have been children, and others seem as if they could never be anything else." Theodore Roosevelt "No man is justified in doing evil on the ground of expediency." Dale Carnegie "Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all." Martin Luther King Jr. "True peace is not merely the absence of tension: it is the presence of justice." Erna Bombeck "If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead." Plato "Death is not the worst than can happen to men." Galileo Galilei "Philosophy is written in this grand book - I mean the Universe - which stands continually open to our gaze, but it cannot be understood unless one first learns to comprehend the language and interpret the characters in which it is written. It is written in the language of mathematics, and its characters are triangles, circles and other geometrical figures, without which it is humanly impossible to understand a single word of it." Stephen King "Talent is cheaper than table salt. What separates the talented individual from the successful one is a lot of hard work." Confucius "Learning without thought is labor lost." W. Somerset Maugham "Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. And my advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it." Zig Ziglar "You can have everything in life that you want if you just give enough other people what they want." Booker T. Washington "I have learnt that success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles which he has overcome while trying to succeed." John Wooden "A coach is someone who can give correction without causing resentment." Albert Camus "I shall tell you a great secret my friend. Do not wait for the last judgement, it takes place every day." Christopher Morley "Cherish all your happy moments: they make a fine cushion for old age." Henry Wadsworth Longfellow "Perseverance is a great element of success. If you only knock long enough and loud enough at the gate, you are sure to wake up somebody." Henry Thoreau "Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it." Adolf Hitler "Struggle is the father of all things. It is not by the principles of humanity that man lives or is able to preserve himself above the animal world, but solely by means of the most brutal struggle. If you do not fight, life will never be won." George W. Bush "One thing I have learned about the presidency is that whatever shortcomings you have, people are going to notice them -- and whatever strengths you have, you're going to need them." Victor Hugo "How did it happen that their lips came together? How does it happen that birds sing, that snow melts, that the rose unfolds, that the dawn whitens behind the stark shapes of trees on the quivering summit of the hill? A kiss, and all was said." Colin Powell "Leadership is solving problems. The day soldiers stop bringing you their problems is the day you have stopped leading them. They have either lost confidence that you can help or concluded you do not care. Either case is a failure of leadership." Ring Lardner "A good many young writers make the mistake of enclosing a stamped, self-addressed envelope, big enough for the manuscript to come back in. This is too much of a temptation to the editor." Yogi Berra "If you can't imitate him, don't copy him." Dwight Eisenhower "In the councils of government, we must guard against the acquisition of unwarranted influence, whether sought or unsought, by the military-industrial complex." Robert Benchley "Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with, that it's compounding a felony." Mark Twain "Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example." Dave Barry "Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer." Ernest Hemingway "Never mistake motion for action." Marcel Proust "We are healed from suffering only by experiencing it to the full." Napoleon Bonaparte "Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake." Bill Cosby "Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge." Luther Sutherland "It is very easy to tell the difference between man-made and God-made objects. The more you magnify man-made objects, the cruder they look, but the more you magnify God-made objects, the more precise and intricate they appear." Siddhartha Buddha "Better than a thousand hollow words, is one word that brings peace." Carl Jung "The dream is the small hidden door in the deepest and most intimate sanctum of the soul, which opens to that primeval cosmic night that was soul long before there was conscious ego and will be soul far beyond what a conscious ego could ever reach." Rudyard Kipling "The highest form of wisdom is to get drunk and go to pieces." Johann Wolfgang von Goethe "As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live." C.S. Lewis "Man's conquest of Nature turns out, in the moment of its consummation, to be Nature's conquest of Man." Martin Luther King Jr. "Occasionally in life there are those moments of unutterable fulfillment which cannot be completely explained by those symbols called words. Their meanings can only be articulated by the inaudible language of the heart." Mother Teresa "Love is a fruit in season at all times, and within reach of every hand." Elbert Hubbard "The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one." Steven Wright "I bought some batteries but they weren't included, so I had to buy them again." Saul Bellow "There is an immense, painful longing for a broader, more flexible, fuller, more coherent, more comprehensive account of what we human beings are, who we are, and what this life is for." Bob Dylan "Money doesn't talk, it swears." Burton Hills "Happiness is not a destination. It is a method of life." George Bernard Shaw "The only man I know who behaves sensibly is my tailor; he takes my measurements anew each time he sees me. The rest go on with their old measurements and expect me to fit them." Roger Ebert "'It will obliterate your senses!' reports David Gillin, who obviously writes autobiographically." Socrates "A husband is what's left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted." Edmund Burke "Nobody made a greater mistake than he who did nothing because he could do only a little." Marcel Proust "We don't receive wisdom; we must discover it for ourselves after a journey that no one can take for us or spare us." Carl Sandburg "Slang is the language which takes off its coat, spits on its hands - and goes to work." Margaret Mead "Nobody has ever before asked the nuclear family to live all by itself in a box the way we do. With no relatives, no support, we've put it in an impossible situation." Scott Adams "Nothing inspires forgiveness quite like revenge." Calvin Coolidge "The right thing to do never requires any subterfuge, it is always simple and direct." Malcolm Forbes "By the time we've made it, we've had it." Pablo Picasso "Every act of creation is first of all an act of destruction." Emily Dickinson "Parting is all we know of heaven and all we need to know of hell." Dorothy Parker "The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue." Soren Aabye Kierkegaard "People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought, which they avoid." E.B. White "Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it." Mike Tyson "Fear is your best friend or your worst enemy. It's like fire. If you can control it, it can cook for you; it can heat your house. If you can't control it, it will burn everything around you and destroy you. If you can control your fear, it makes you more alert, like a deer coming across the lawn." Franklin D. Roosevelt "A radical is a man with both feet firmly planted in the air." Helen Keller "It is a terrible thing to see and have no vision." Woody Allen "To I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition." T.S. Eliot "Poetry may make us from time to time a little more aware of the deeper, unnamed feelings which form the substratum of our being, to which we rarely penetrate; for our lives are mostly a constant evasion of ourselves." H.G. Wells "Our true nationality is mankind." C.S. Lewis "Part of every misery is, so to speak, the misery's shadow or reflection: the fact that you don't merely suffer but have to keep on thinking about the fact that you suffer. I not only live each endless day in grief, but live each day thinking about living each day in grief." Baltasar Gracian "It is better to sleep on things beforehand than lie awake about them afterward." Emily Dickinson "Anger as soon as fed is dead. 'Tis starving makes it fat." Francois Marie Arouet (Voltaire) "If God has created us in His image, we have more than returned the compliment." Elbert Hubbard "Every man is a damn fool for at least five minutes every day; wisdom consists in not exceeding the limit." Pablo Picasso "Bad artists copy. Great artists steal." Harvey Pekar "Ordinary life is pretty complex stuff." Laurence Peter "An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today." Margo Kaufman "The only thing worse than a man you can't control is a man you can." Bruce Lee "To hell with circumstances. I create opportunities." Jack Handey "How come the dove gets to be the peace symbol? How about the pillow? It has more feathers than the dove, and it doesn't have that dangerous beak." Thomas Paine "There are two distinct classes of what are called thoughts: those that we produce in ourselves by reflection and the act of thinking and those that bolt into the mind of their own accord." Bill Cosby "The past is a ghost, the future a dream, and all we ever have is now." Gloria Steinem "In my heart, I think a woman has two choices: Either she's a feminist or a masochist." Edward Bulwer-Lytton "Talent does what it can; genius does what it must." Samuel Goldwyn "I'm willing to admit that I may not always be right, but I am never wrong." Samuel Johnson "Knowledge is of two kinds. We know a subject ourselves, or we know where we can find information upon it." Sun Tzu "This does not mean that the enemy is to be allowed to escape. The object is to make him believe that there is a road to safety, and thus prevent his fighting with the courage of despair. After that, you may crush him." Dave Barry "It is a good idea to "shop around" before you settle on a doctor. Ask about the condition of his Mercedes. Ask about the competence of his mechanic. Don't be shy! After all, you're paying for it." Aristotle "Youth is easily deceived because it is quick to hope." Carl Sagan "Imagination will often carry us to worlds that never were. But without it, we go nowhere." Hada Bejar "The fragrance always stays in the hand that gives the rose." William Shakespeare "This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man." Baltasar Gracian "Great ability develops and reveals itself increasingly with every new assignment." Harry Truman "This is a Christian nation." Leonardo da Vinci "All our knowledge has its origin in our perceptions." Mahatma Gandhi "A coward is incapable of exhibiting love; it is the prerogative of the brave." Booker T. Washington "I have learnt that success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles which he has overcome while trying to succeed." Benjamin Franklin "He that would live in peace and at ease must not speak all he knows or all he sees." Johnny Carson "If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead." Marcus Aurelius "The wise man learns more from the fool than the fool learns from the wise man." Theodore Roosevelt "Absence and death are the same - only that in death there is no suffering." Mark Twain "There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist." Ambrose Redmoon "Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear." Benjamin Franklin "There is no such thing as a good war and there is no such thing as a bad peace." Theodor Seuss Geisel "You can get help from teachers, but you are going to have to learn a lot by yourself, sitting alone in a room." John Dewey "Reason is experimental intelligence, conceived after the pattern of science, and used in the creation of social arts; it has something to do. It liberates man from the bondage of the past, due to ignorance and accident hardened into custom. It projects a better future and assists man in its realization." Marcel Proust "It is always thus, impelled by a state of mind which is destined not to last, that we make our irrevocable decisions." Steven Wright "I bought some batteries but they weren't included, so I had to buy them again." John Donne "No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent." Bertrand Russell "No one gossips about other people's secret virtues." Aristotle "Democracy is when the indigent, and not the men of property, are the rulers." Oscar Wilde "There is luxury in self-reproach. When we blame ourselves, we feel no one else has a right to blame us." Dave Barry "The function of RAM is to give us guys a way of deciding whose computer has the biggest, studliest, most tumescent MEMORY. This is important, because with today's complex software, the more memory a computer has, the faster it can produce error messages. So the bottom line is, if you're a guy, you cannot have enough RAM." Mahatma Gandhi "That service is the noblest which is rendered for its own sake." Isaac Disraeli "Fortune has rarely condescended to be the companion of genius." Mahatma Gandhi "Birth and death are not two different states, but they are different aspects of the same state. There is as little reason to deplore the one as there is to be pleased over the other." George Orwell "Political language is designed to make lies sound truthful and murder respectable, and to give an appearance of solidity to pure wind." Yogi Berra "I couldn't tell if the streaker was a man or a woman because it had a bag on it's head." Albert Einstein "It was the experience of mystery -- even if mixed with fear -- that engendered religion." Jedi Master Yoda "Do, or do not. There is no 'try.'" Oliver Wendell Holmes "Life is painting a picture, not doing a sum." Dave Barry "What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death." Harry Truman "When you get to be President, there are all those things, the honors, the twenty-one gun salutes, all those things. You have to remember it isn't for you. It's for the Presidency." Mark Twain "The conviction of the rich that the poor are happier is no more foolish than the conviction of the poor that the rich are." Jesse Jackson "Today's students can put dope in their veins or hope in their brains. If they can conceive it and believe it, they can achieve it. They must know it is not their aptitude, but their attitude, that will determine their altitude." Andrew Carnegie "If you want to conquer fear, don't sit at home and think about it. Go out and get busy." Thomas Jefferson "The government is best which governs least." Thomas Paine "Character is much easier kept than recovered." Jack Handey "Children need encouragement. So if a kid gets an answer right, tell him it was a lucky guess. That way, he develops a good, lucky feeling." Homer Simpson "Haven't you learned anything from that guy that gives those sermons in church? Captain What's-his-name. We live in a society of laws, why do you think I took you to see all those Police Academy movies? For fun? Well I didn't hear anybody laughing! Did you? Except at that guy who made sound effects. Vroom! Beep! Honk! Honk! Ha-ha. Where was I? Oh yeah, stay out of my booze!" Martin Luther King Jr. "Our only hope today lies in our ability to recapture the revolutionary spirit and go into a sometimes hostile world declaring eternal hostility to poverty, racism, and militarism." John Adams "We have no government armed with power capable of contending with human passions unbridled by morality and religion. Avarice, ambition, revenge, or gallantry, would break the strongest cords of our Constitution as a whale goes through a net. Our Constitution was made only for a moral and religious people. It is wholly inadequate to the government of any other." Thomas Edison "Religion is all bunk." Richard Bach "Real love stories never have endings." T.S. Eliot "It's strange that words are so inadequate. Yet, like the asthmatic struggling for breath, so the lover must struggle for words." Theodor Seuss Geisel "...adults are just obsolete children, and the hell with them." William Shakespeare "Be not afraid of greatness. Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon 'em." Bill Cosby "For two people in a marriage to live together day after day is unquestionably the one miracle the Vatican has overlooked." Albert Einstein "The most incomprehensible thing about the world is that it is at all comprehensible." George Orwell "Pacifism is objectively pro-fascist. This is elementary common sense. If you hamper the war effort of one side, you automatically help out that of the other. Nor is there any real way of remaining outside such a war as the present one. In practice, 'he that is not with me is against me.'"" Benjamin Franklin "Wealth is not his that has it, but his that enjoys it." John F. Kennedy "Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names." Colin Powell "There are no secrets to success. It is the result of preparation, hard work, and learning from failure." Dave Barry "I don't know what the new Ford will be called. Probably something like the 'Ford Untamed Wilderness Adventure.' In the TV commercials, it will be shown splashing through rivers, charging up rocky mountainsides, swinging on vines, diving off cliffs, racing through the surf, and fighting giant sharks hundreds of feet beneath the ocean surface -- all the daredevil things that cars do in Sport Utility Vehicle Commercial World, where nobody ever drives on an actual world. In fact, the interstate highways in Sport Utility Vehicle Commercial World, having been abandoned by humans, are teeming with deer, squirrels, birds, and other wildlife species that have fled from the forests to avoid being run over by nature-seekers in multi-ton vehicles barreling through the underbrush at 50 miles per hour." Jesse Jackson "When we're unemployed, we're called lazy; when the whites are unemployed it's called a depression." Marcel Proust "Lies are essential to humanity. They are perhaps as important as the pursuit of pleasure and moreover are dictated by that pursuit." Marcel Proust "If a little dreaming is dangerous, the cure for it is not to dream less but to dream more, to dream all the time." Mark Twain "I have never let my schooling interfere with my education." Winston Churchill "This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read." Muhammad Ali "When you're as great as I am, it's hard to be humble." Keith Richards "If you are gonna kick society in the teeth, you might as well use both feet." Tim Blair "Thus far, the reputed idiot Bush has graduated from Yale and Harvard, made a stack of cash in the oil industry, become the first consecutive-term governor of Texas, defeated a dual-term VP for the presidency, and led his party to [November 5th's] extraordinary triumphs. Let his opponents keep calling him stupid; if they do, within five years Bush will be King of England, the Pope, and world Formula One motor racing champion." Marcel Proust "I perceived that to express those impressions, to write that essential book, which is the only true one, a great writer does not, in the current meaning of the word, invent it, but, since it exists already in each one of us, interprets it. The duty and the task of a writer are those of an interpreter." Rita Mae Brown "The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans are suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you." Nicolo Machiavelli "Rhis is to be asserted in general of men: that they are ungrateful, fickle, false, cowardly, covetous, and as long as you succeed, are yours entirely; they will offer you their blood, property, life, and children...when the need is far distant; but when it approaches, they will turn against you." C.S. Lewis "God is not proud...He will have us even though we have shown that we prefer everything else to Him." George Burns "Too bad the only people who know how to run the country are busy driving cabs and cutting hair." Dick Cheney "Four years ago, some said the world had grown calm, and many assumed that the United States was invulnerable to danger. That thought might have been comforting; it was also false. Like other generations of Americans, we soon discovered that history had great and unexpected duties in store for us." Dave Barry "Congress, after years of stalling, finally got around to clearing the way for informal discussions that might lead to possible formal talks that could potentially produce some kind of tentative agreements..." GK Chesterton "At least five times...with the Arian and the Albigensian, with the Humanist sceptic, after Voltaire and after Darwin, the Faith has to all appearance gone to the dogs. In each of these five cases it was the dog that died." Elbert Hubbard "Get happiness out of your work or you may never know what happiness is." Charlie Kaufman "Constantly talking isn't necessarily communicating." Fulton J. Sheen "Show me your hands. Do they have scars from giving? Show me your feet. Are they wounded in service? Show me your heart. Have you left a place for divine love?" Groucho Marx "From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it." Francis Bacon "Never exaggerate your faults. Your friends will attend to that." Miriam M. Wynn "If you're afraid to ask the question, it's probably because you already know the answer." Anais Nin "Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don't know how to replenish it's source. It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of witherings, of tarnishings." Dave Barry "The books all say that barracuda rarely eat people, but very few barracuda can read, and they have far more teeth than would be necessary for a strictly seafood diet. Their mouths look like the entire $39.95 set of Ginsu knives, including the handy Arm Slicer." Victor Borge "Laughter is the shortest distance between two people." Zig Ziglar "Success is the maximum utilization of the ability that you have." Bill Gates "Just in terms of allocation of time resources, religion is not very efficient. There's a lot more I could be doing on a Sunday morning." Kahlil Gibran "Music is the language of the spirit. It opens the secret of life bringing peace, abolishing strife." Chris Bowyer "I'd rather hear an old truth than a new lie." C.S. Lewis "A silly idea is current that good people do not know what temptation means. This is an obvious lie. Only those who try to resist temptation know how strong it is... A man who gives in to temptation after five minutes simply does not know what it would have been like an hour later. That is why bad people, in one sense, know very little about badness. They have lived a sheltered life by always giving in." Charles Darwin "It is those who know little, and not those who know much, who so positively assert that this or that problem will never be solved by science." Victor Hugo "Toleration is the best religion." Dave Barry "You should do your own car repairs. It's an easy way to save money and possibly maim yourself for life." Isaac Disraeli "After all, it is style alone by which posterity will judge of a great work, for an author can have nothing truly his own but his style." Paris Hilton "Wal-Mart, what's that? Do they, like, make walls there?" GK Chesterton "'My country, right or wrong' is a thing no patriot would ever think of saying except in a desperate case. It is like saying 'My mother, drunk or sober.'" Alexander Hamilton "Nobody expects to trust his body overmuch after the age of fifty." Denzel Washington "The movie's director is the pilot. It's his vision. For an actor, the time to worry about flying is when you're on the ground. If you don't want to fly with the director, don't get on the plane." GK Chesterton "The only right way of telling a story is to begin at the beginning--at the beginning of the world. Therefore all books have to be begun in the wrong way for the sake of brevity." Henry Ward Beecher "The unthankful heart... discovers no mercies; but let the thankful heart sweep through the day and, as the magnet finds the iron, so it will find, in every hour, some heavenly blessings!" Henry Mencken "All men are frauds. The only difference between them is that some admit it. I myself deny it." Theodore Roosevelt "Americans learn only from catastrophe and not from experience." Napoleon Bonaparte "Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever." Ring Lardner "A good many young writers make the mistake of enclosing a stamped, self-addressed envelope, big enough for the manuscript to come back in. This is too much of a temptation to the editor." Thomas Jefferson "The will of the people is the only legitimate foundation of any government, and to protect its free expression should be our first object." C.S. Lewis "A man who is eating or lying with his wife or preparing to go to sleep in humility, thankfulness and temperance, is, by Christian standards, in an infinitely higher state than one who is listening to Bach or reading Plato in a state of pride." Laurence Peter "Going to church doesn't make you any more a Christian than going to the garage makes you a car." Marcel Proust "The only paradise is paradise lost." E.B. White "Liberty is never out of bounds or off limits; it spreads wherever it can capture the imagination of men." Albert Einstein "The most incomprehensible thing about the world is that it is at all comprehensible." Robert Frost "Happiness makes up in height for what it lacks in length." Aristotle "Men acquire a particular quality by constantly acting in a particular way." Dave Barry "Childbirth, as a strictly physical phenomenon, is comparable to driving a United Parcel truck through an inner tube." Alexis de Tocqueville "The most dangerous moment for a bad government is when it begins to reform." William Jennings Bryan "The humblest citizen of all the land; when clad in the armour of a righteous cause; is stronger than all the hosts of Error." Jesse Jackson "Leadership has a harder job to do than just choose sides. It must bring sides together." Fannie Hurst "A woman has to be twice as good as a man to go half as far." William Shakespeare "Love sought is good, but given unsought is better." Stephen King "It's better to be good than evil, but one achieves goodness at a terrific cost." Ronald Reagan "Freedom is the right to question and change the established way of doing things. It is the continuous revolution of the marketplace. It is the understanding that allows us to recognize shortcomings and seek solutions." Woody Allen "The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you." Jill Ruckleshaus "The best way to win an argument is to begin by being right." Erna Bombeck "A grandmother pretends she doesn't know who you are on Halloween." Johann Wolfgang von Goethe "We are never deceived; we deceive ourselves." Wayne Dyer "Loving people live in a loving world. Hostile people live in a hostile world." Johnny Carson "For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off." Thomas Paine "That government is best which governs least." George Bernard Shaw "A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul." Fyodor Dostoevsky "The degree of civilization in a society can be judged by entering its prisons." Alexander Pope "How happy is the blameless Vestal's lot! The world forgetting, by the world forgot. Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind! Each pray'r accepted, and each wish resign'd." Dorothy Parker "That woman speaks eighteen languages and she can't say 'no' in any one of them." Adolf Hitler "For there is one thing we must never forget...the majority can never replace the man. And no more than a hundred empty heads make one wise man will an heroic decision arise from a hundred cowards." Marlon Brando "If you're successful, acting is about as soft a job as anybody could ever wish for. But if you're unsuccessful it's worse than having a skin disease." Carl Jung "The dream is the small hidden door in the deepest and most intimate sanctum of the soul, which opens to that primeval cosmic night that was soul long before there was conscious ego and will be soul far beyond what a conscious ego could ever reach." Benjamin Franklin "Genius without education is like silver in the mine." John F. Kennedy "Leadership and learning are indispensable to each other." Mark Twain "Duties are not performed for duty's sake, but because their neglect would make the man uncomfortable. A man performs but one duty - the duty of contenting his spirit, the duty of making himself agreeable to himself." Thomas Jefferson "I predict future happiness for Americans if they can prevent the government from wasting the labors of the people under the pretense of taking care of them." Mark Twain "The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring a nature that it will last through a whole lifetime, if not asked to lend money." Martin Luther King Jr. "Nothing pains some people more than having to think." Mark Twain "Well enough for old folks to rise early, because they have done so many mean things all their lives they can't sleep anyhow." Harvey Pekar "Ordinary life is pretty complex stuff." Friedrich Nietzsche "What is bad? Everything that is born of weakness." Fran Lebowitz "Success didn't spoil me, I've always been insufferable." Johnny Carson "Democracy means that anyone can grow up to be president, and anyone who doesn't grow up can be vice president." Ralph Waldo Emerson "Let the river roll which way it will, cities will rise on its banks." Eleanor Roosevelt "Absence makes the heart grow fonder." Oscar Wilde "A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies." C.S. Lewis "If we cut up beasts simply because they cannot prevent us and because we are backing our own side in the struggle for existence, it is only logical to cut up imbeciles, criminals, enemies, or capitalists for the same reasons." Robert Frost "Most of the change we think we see in life is due to truths being in and out of favor." Groucho Marx "I've had a wonderful time, but this wasn't it." Friedrich Nietzsche "Blessed are the forgetful: for they get the better even of their blunders." GK Chesterton "When people stop believing in God, they don't believe in nothing -- they believe in anything." Robert Frost "The ear is the only true writer and the only true reader." Alexis de Tocqueville "The surface of American society is covered with a layer of democratic paint, but from time to time one can see the old aristocratic colours breaking through." Socrates "An unexamined life is not worth living." Theodore Roosevelt "A typical vice of American politics is the avoidance of saying anything real on real issues." Fran Lebowitz "All God's children are not beautiful. Most of God's children are, in fact, barely presentable." Ambrose Bierce "Ocean: A body of water occupying 2/3 of a world made for man...who has no gills." Elbert Hubbard "Life in abundance comes only through great love." George Orwell "He who controls the present, controls the past. He who controls the past, controls the future." Ambrose Bierce "The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling." Johann Wolfgang von Goethe "The intelligent man finds almost everything ridiculous, the sensible man hardly anything." Aldous Huxley "To us, the moment 8:17 A.M. means something - something very important, if it happens to be the starting time of our daily train. To our ancestors, such an odd eccentric instant was without significance - did not even exist. In inventing the locomotive, Watt and Stevenson were part inventors of time." Johnny Carson "People will pay more to be entertained than educated." Mark Twain "It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt." Mother Teresa "I do not pray for success, I ask for faithfulness." Ronald Reagan "I hope that when you are my age, you will be able to say as I have been able to say: We lived in freedom. We lived lives that were a statement, not an apology." Thomas Paine "Those who expect to reap the blessings of freedom must, like men, undergo the fatigue of supporting it." Mahatma Gandhi "A coward is incapable of exhibiting love; it is the prerogative of the brave." Baltasar Gracian "Great ability develops and reveals itself increasingly with every new assignment." C.S. Lewis "Morality, like numinous awe, is a jump; in it, man goes beyond anything that can be 'given' in the facts of experience." Yogi Berra "I didn't really say everything I said." Mark Twain "Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example." Muhammad Ali "I don't always know what I'm talking about but I know I'm right." George Patton "Don't tell people how to do things. Tell them what to do and let them surprise you with their results." Adolf Hitler "The victor will never be asked if he told the truth." John Lennon "Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans." Benjamin Tillet "God help the man who won't marry until he finds a perfect woman, and God help him still more if he finds her." GK Chesterton "When a politician is in opposition he is an expert on the means to some end; and when he is in office he is an expert on the obstacles to it." Vince Lombardi "The dictionary is the only place that success comes before work. Hard work is the price we must pay for success. I think you can accomplish anything if you're willing to pay the price." Henry Kissinger "The illegal we do immediately. The unconstitutional takes a little longer." Winston Churchill "It is a good thing for an uneducated man to read books of quotations." George Washington "The Nation which indulges toward another an habitual hatred or an habitual fondness is in some degree a slave. It is a slave to its animosity or to its affection, either of which is sufficient to lead it astray from its duty and its interest." Saint Augustine "The World is a book, and those who do not travel read only a page." C.S. Lewis "You play the hand you're dealt. I think the game's worthwhile." Jack Handey "A man doesn't automatically get my respect. He has to get down in the dirt and beg for it." Homer Simpson "No, no, no, Lisa. If adults don't like their jobs, they don't go on strike. They just go in every day and do it really half-assed." Ralph Waldo Emerson "The secret of education is respecting the pupil." C.S. Lewis "You play the hand you're dealt. I think the game's worthwhile." Adolf Hitler "To be a leader means to be able to move masses." Winston Churchill "Never interrupt me when I'm trying to interrupt you." Zsa Zsa Gabor "I know nothing about sex because I was always married." Kurt Russell "Goldie and I did have a car stolen right out of our yard. It took us three days to notice." Douglas Adams "It is a mistake to think you can solve any major problems just with potatoes." Mark Twain "The problem is not that we have too many fools, it's that the lightning isn't distributed right." Samuel Johnson "Don't think of retiring from the world until the world will be sorry that you retire. I hate a fellow whom pride or cowardice or laziness drives into a corner, and who does nothing when he is there but sit and growl. Let him come out as I do, and bark." Samuel Goldwyn "I paid too much for it, but it's worth it." Oliver Wendell Holmes "Happiness consists in activity. It is running stream, not a stagnant pool." Clive Barnes "Television is the first truly democratic culture - the first culture available to everybody and entirely governed by what the people want. The most terrifying thing is what people do want." Albert Einstein "As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain, and as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality." George Bernard Shaw "If you have an apple and I have an apple and we exchange these apples then you and I will still each have one apple. But if you have an idea and I have an idea and we exchange these ideas, then each of us will have two ideas." Blaise Pascal "Man is equally incapable of seeing the nothingness from which he emerges and the infinity in which he is engulfed." Jesse Jackson "Our flag is red, white and blue, but our nation is a rainbow -- red, yellow, brown, black and white -- and we're all precious in God's sight." Larry Wilde "Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree. In the eyes of children, they are all thirty feet tall." Plato "Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something." Nachman of Bratslav "The man who disobeys his parents will have disobedient sons." Dave Barry "'You scratch my back, and I'll suck blood out of yours' - that is the insect motto." Saul Bellow "What is art but a way of seeing?" Marcel Proust "The time which we have at our disposal every day is elastic; the passions we feel expand it, those that we inspire contract it, and habit fills up what remains." Vince Lombardi "Individual commitment to a group effort -- that is what makes a team work a company work, a society work, a civilization work." C.S. Lewis "You find out more about God from the Moral Law than from the univerise in general just as you find out more about a man by listening to his conversation than by looking at a house he has built." Margaret Mead "Having someone wonder where you are when you don't come home at night is a very old human need." Edmund Burke "If we command our wealth, we shall be rich and free; if our wealth commands us, we are poor indeed." Britney Spears "Just because I look sexy on the cover of Rolling Stone doesn't mean I'm naughty." Ralph Waldo Emerson "A great part of courage is the courage of having done the thing before." Saul Bellow "A novel is balanced between a few true impressions and the multitude of false ones that make up most of what we call life." C.S. Lewis "Our passions are not too strong, they are too weak. We are far too easily pleased." Colin Powell "You don't know what you can get away with until you try." George Bernard Shaw "Why should we take advice on sex from the pope? If he knows anything about it, he shouldn't!" Confucius "To put the world right in order, we must first put the nation in order; to put the nation in order, we must first put the family in order; to put the family in order, we must first cultivate our personal life; we must first set our hearts right." Alexis de Tocqueville "When the past no longer illuminates the future, the spirit walks in darkness." Benjamin Franklin "Hide not your talents. They for use were made. What's a sundial in the shade." Marcel Proust "Time, which changes people, does not alter the image we have retained of them." Armand Hammer "When you work seven days a week, fourteen hours a day, you get lucky." Rita Rudner "I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry." Bill Cosby "Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap on-a-rope." William Jennings Bryan "I believe one of the reasons so many do not get a higher education is the fear of their parents that they will lose more morally than they will receive mentally." Steven Wright "I installed a skylight in my apartment yesterday. The people who live above me are furious." Jack Handey "What is it that makes a complete stranger dive into an icy river to save a solid-gold baby? Maybe we'll never know." Edmund Burke "When bad men combine, the good must associate; else they will fall one by one, an unpitied sacrifice in a contemptible struggle." Victor Hugo "Forty is the old age of youth; fifty the youth of old age." Bill Cosby "Parents are not interested in justice, they're interested in peace and quiet." Dick Hubbard "We should not criticise those who trip by taking a more difficult than usual step." John Adams "We have no government armed with power capable of contending with human passions unbridled by morality and religion. Avarice, ambition, revenge, or gallantry, would break the strongest cords of our Constitution as a whale goes through a net. Our Constitution was made only for a moral and religious people. It is wholly inadequate to the government of any other." Jeremy Taylor "Love is friendship set on fire." William Blake "If the doors of perception were cleansed every thing would appear to man as it is, infinite. For man has closed himself up, till he sees all things thru' narrow chinks of his cavern." Thomas Jefferson "Every difference of opinion is not a difference of principle. We have called by different names brethren of the same principle." Al Gore "When you have the facts on your side, argue the facts. When you have the law on your side, argue the law. When you have neither, holler." Napoleon Bonaparte "The best way to keep one's word is not to give it." Frank Lloyd Wright "A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines." Muhammad Ali "He who is not courageous enough to take risks will accomplish nothing in life." Plato "Friends have all things in common." George Bernard Shaw "Every man over forty is a scoundrel." Oscar Wilde "No man should have a secret from his wife; she invariably finds out." Oliver Wendell Holmes "A mind that is stretched by a new experience can never go back to its old dimensions." Winston Churchill "The great principle which this house ought to guard and cherish is that, when the tax collector comes to the private citizen and takes from him of his wealth for the services of the public, the whole of that money taken shall go for the purposes for which it is intended, and that no private interests, however powerfully they may be organized and however eloquently advocated, shall thrust their dirty fingers into the pie and take the profits for themselves." C.S. Lewis "We live, in fact, in a world starved for solitude, silence, and private: and therefore starved for meditation and true friendship." John Barrymore "Love is the delightful interval between meeting a beautiful girl and discovering that she looks like a haddock." Johnny Carson "If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam." Pam Brown "The baby rises to its feet, takes a step, is overcome with triumph and joy - and falls flat on its face. It is a pattern for all that is to come! But learn from the bewildered baby. Lurch to your feet again. You'll make the sofa in the end." Robin Williams "I'll always perform, because show business is in my blood. Or maybe it's in my feet. Wherever it is, I don't think I'll ever stop." Samuel Goldwyn "I'm willing to admit that I may not always be right, but I am never wrong." George Washington "Over grown military establishments are under any form of government inauspicious to liberty, and are to be regarded as particularly hostile to republican liberty." Reinhold Niebuhr "No virtuous act is quite as virtuous from the standpoint of our friend or foe, as from our own. Therefore, we are saved by the final form of love which is forgiveness." Mark Twain "I do not like work even when someone else does it." Alexis de Tocqueville "Nothing is quite so wretchedly corrupt as an aristocracy which has lost its power but kept its wealth and which still has endless leisure to devote to nothing but banal enjoyments. All its great thoughts and passionate energy are things of the past, and nothing but a host of petty, gnawing vices now cling to it like worms to a corpse." Dorothy Parker "Four be the things I'd have been better without: love, curiosity, freckles and doubt." Martin Luther King Jr. "We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope." John Wooden "Don't measure yourself by what you have accomplished, but by what you should have accomplished with your ability." Napoleon Bonaparte "The whole art of war consists in a well-reasoned and extremely circumspect defensive, followed by rapid and audacious attack." Ralph Waldo Emerson "A hero is no braver than an ordinary person, but he is braver five minutes longer." Thomas Jefferson "It is error alone which needs the support of government. Truth can stand by itself." Oscar Wilde "Patriotism is the virtue of the vicious." Lucille Ball "The secret to staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly and lie about your age." Bill Gates "Just in terms of allocation of time resources, religion is not very efficient. There's a lot more I could be doing on a Sunday morning." Edmund Burke "All that is required for evil to prevail is for good men to do nothing." Fulton J. Sheen "Jealousy is the tribute mediocrity pays to genius." GK Chesterton "It has been often said, very truly, that religion is the thing that makes the ordinary man feel extraordinary; it is an equally important truth that religion is the thing that makes the extraordinary man feel ordinary." C.S. Lewis "Has this world been so kind to you that you should leave with regret? There are better things ahead than any we leave behind." Ambrose Bierce "We know what happens to people who stay in the middle of the road. They get run over." Henry Kissinger "Art is man's expression of his joy in labor." George Carlin "Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck." Carl Jung "The healthy man does not torture others - generally it is the tortured who turn into torturers." Colin Powell "Perpetual optimism is a force multiplier." H.H. Munro "A little inaccuracy sometimes saves tons of explanation." Samuel Goldwyn "I think luck is the sense to recognize an opportunity and the ability to take advantage of it... The man who can smile at his breaks and grab his chances gets on." Benjamin Franklin "Anger is one of the sinews of the soul; he that wants it hath a maimed mind." George Washington "Associate yourself with men of good quality if you esteem your own reputation; for 'tis better to be alone than in bad company." Rudyard Kipling "The highest form of wisdom is to get drunk and go to pieces." GK Chesterton "The only defensible war is a war of defense." C.S. Lewis "Thirty was so strange for me. I've really had to come to terms with the fact that I am now a walking and talking adult." Thomas Jefferson "The force of public opinion cannot be resisted when permitted freely to be expressed. The agitation it produces must be submitted to." Albert Einstein "Heroism at command, senseless brutality, and all the loathsome nonsense that goes by the name of patriotism, how violently I hate all this, how despicable and ignoble war is; I would rather be torn to shreds than be part of so base an action!" Britney Spears "The cool thing about being famous is traveling. I have always wanted to travel across seas, like to Canada and stuff." William Rotsler "Anyone without a sense of humor is at the mercy of everyone else." William F. Buckley "I would like to take you seriously, but to do so would affront your intelligence." Aesop "Only cowards insult dying majesty." Marcel Proust "Time, which changes people, does not alter the image we have retained of them." George W. Bush "The survival of liberty in our land increasingly depends on the success of liberty in other lands." Theodor Seuss Geisel "You make 'em, I amuse 'em." Katherine Hepburn "If you're given a choice between money and sex appeal, take the money. As you get older, the money will become your sex appeal." Theodore Roosevelt "Success, the real success, does not depend upon the position you hold but upon how you carry yourself in that position." Alfred Hitchcock "Television has brought back murder into the home, where it belongs." Robin Williams "Ah, yes, divorce...from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet." Mother Teresa "Many people mistake our work for our vocation. Our vocation is the love of Jesus." Ronald Reagan "Welfare's purpose should be to eliminate, as far as possible, the need for its own existence." C.S. Lewis "It may be hard for an egg to turn into a bird: it would be a jolly sight harder for it to learn to fly while remaining an egg. We are like eggs at present. And you cannot go on indefinitely being just an ordinary, decent egg. We must be hatched or go bad." Nachman of Bratslav "A man's drive for profit should be prompted by the desire to give charity." Bertrand Russell "Freedom of opinion can only exist when the government thinks itself secure." Dale Carnegie "You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you." Vince Lombardi "If you can't accept losing, you can't win." Ernest Hemingway "Never mistake motion for action." Kurt Vonnegut "Don't be reckless with other people's hearts, And don't put up with people that are reckless with yours." Edgar Watson Howe "The sounder your argument, the more satisfaction you get out of it." Mark Twain "A person with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds." Johnny Carson "If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead." Benjamin Disraeli "Where knowledge ends, religion begins." Alexis de Tocqueville "Democracy and socialism have nothing in common but one word, equality. But notice the difference: while democracy seeks equality in liberty, socialism seeks equality in restraint and servitude." Friedrich Nietzsche "God is dead." Calvin Coolidge "Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan 'press on' has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race." C.S. Lewis "If, as I can't help suspecting, the dead also feel the pains of separation (and this may be one of their purgatorial sufferings), then for both lovers, and for all pairs of lovers without exception, bereavement is a universal and integral part of our experience of love." Adolf Hitler "For there is one thing we must never forget...the majority can never replace the man. And no more than a hundred empty heads make one wise man will an heroic decision arise from a hundred cowards." Charles Caleb Colton "If you cannot inspire a woman with love of you, fill her above the brim with love of herself; all that runs over will be yours." Mark Twain "When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years." Confucius "Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life." Jack Handey "If you go flying back through time, and you see somebody else flying forward into the future, it's probably best to avoid eye contact." Franklin Jones "An atheist is one who hopes the Lord will do nothing to disturb his disbelief." Marcel Proust "It is always thus, impelled by a state of mind which is destined not to last, that we make our irrevocable decisions." GK Chesterton "It is largely because the free-thinkers, as a school, have hardly made up their minds whether they want to be more optimist or more pessimist than Christianity that their small but sincere movement has failed. For the duel is deadly; and any agnostic who wishes to be anything more than a Nihilist must sympathize with one version of nature or the other." Will Rogers "On account of being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only nation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter what it does." Tobey Maguire "All the people throughout my life who were naysayers pissed me off. But they've all given me a fervor; an angry ambition that cannot be stopped - and I look forward to finding a therapist and working on that." Plato "There are three arts which are concerned with all things: one which uses, another which makes, and a third which imitates them." Isaac Asimov "The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not 'Eureka!' (I found it!) but 'That's funny...'" John F. Kennedy "Let every nation know, whether it wishes us well or ill, that we shall pay any price, bear any burden, meet any hardship, support any friend, oppose any foe, in order to assure the survival and the success of liberty." Socrates "Bad men live that they may eat and drink, whereas good men eat and drink that they may live." Plato "Death is not the worst than can happen to men." Socrates "If all our misfortunes were laid in one common heap, whence everyone must take an equal portion, most people would be content to take their own and depart." George MacDonald "To be trusted is a greater complement than to be loved." Sydney Smith "Marriage resembles a pair of shears, so joined that they cannot be separated; often moving in opposite directions, yet always punishing any one who comes between them." Aristotle "It is best to rise from life as from a banquet, neither thirsty nor drunken." Bertrand Russell "Love is something far more than desire for sexual intercourse; it is the principal means of escape from the loneliness which afflicts most men and women throughout the greater part of their lives." Dante Gabriel Rossetti "The worst moment for the athieist is when he feels thankful and has no one to thank." Pablo Picasso "Painting is just another way of keeping a diary." Mike Tyson "I haven't been with a woman in nine months." Winston Churchill "The greatest lesson in life is to know that even fools are right sometimes." Friedrich Nietzsche "What is good? Everything that heightens the feeling of power in man, the will to power, power itself." Ambrose Bierce "A grave is a place where the dead are laid to await the coming of the medical student." Author Unknown "Better to die on your feet than live on your knees." Lady Mary Wortley Montagu "The fruit that can fall without shaking, indeed is too mellow for me." Ayn Rand "The ladder of success is best climbed by stepping on the rungs of opportunity." Mark Twain "Dance like nobody's watching; love like you've never been hurt. Sing like nobody's listening; live like it's heaven on earth." Bill Cosby "I am certainly not an authority on love because there are no authorities on love, just those who've had luck with it and those who haven't." John F. Kennedy "We should not let our fears hold us back from pursuing our hopes." Colin Powell "Many interviewers when they come to talk to me, think they're being progressive by not mentioning in their stories any longer that I'm black. I tell them, 'Don't stop now. If I shot somebody you'd mention it.'" Albert Camus "You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life." Dave Barry "I would not know how I am supposed to feel about many stories if not for the fact that the TV news personalities make sad faces for sad stories and happy faces for happy stories." Oliver Wendell Holmes "Death tugs at my ear and says: "Live, I am coming."" Robert Frost "Happiness makes up in height for what it lacks in length." Oscar Wilde "Those whom the gods love grow young." George Patton "Courage is fear holding on a minute longer." George Will "Football combines two of the worst things in American life. It is violence punctuated by committee meetings." Aristotle "A tyrant must put on the appearance of uncommon devotion to religion. Subjects are less apprehensive of illegal treatment from a ruler whom they consider god-fearing and pious. On the other hand, they do less easily move against him, believing that he has the gods on his side." Mark Twain "We are discreet sheep; we wait to see how the drove is going, and then go with the drove." Napoleon Bonaparte "There is only one step from the sublime to the ridiculous." George Orwell "Political language is designed to make lies sound truthful and murder respectable, and to give an appearance of solidity to pure wind." Siddhartha Buddha "I never see what has been done; I only see what remains to be done." Johann Wolfgang von Goethe "When ideas fail, words come in very handy." George Bernard Shaw "Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh." John Adams "We have no government armed with power capable of contending with human passions unbridled by morality and religion. Avarice, ambition, revenge, or gallantry, would break the strongest cords of our Constitution as a whale goes through a net. Our Constitution was made only for a moral and religious people. It is wholly inadequate to the government of any other." Bill Cosby "You can turn painful situations around through laughter. If you can find humor in anything, even poverty, you can survive it." C.S. Lewis "What seem our worst prayers may really be, in God's eyes, our best. Those, I mean, which are least supported by devotional feeling. For these may come from a deeper level than feeling. God sometimes seems to speak to us most intimately when He catches us, as it were, off our guard." George Bernard Shaw "Beauty is all very well at first sight; but whoever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?" Henry Mencken "A Galileo could no more be elected president of the United States than he could be elected Pope of Rome. Both high posts are reserved for men favored by God with an extraordinary genius for swathing the bitter facts of life in bandages of self-illusion." James Michener "America is a nation with many flaws, but hopes so vast that only the cowardly would refuse to acknowledge them." Henry Ward Beecher "The philosophy of one century is the common sense of the next." Friedrich Nietzsche "Without music, life would be a mistake." Winston Churchill "The destiny of man is not measured by material computation. When great forces are on the move in the world, we learn we are spirits--not animals." Dave Barry "Drug testing is very big in football. This is because football players are Role Models for young people. All you young people out there want to grow up and have enormous necks and get knee operations as often as haircuts. That's why the people in charge of football don't want you to associate it with drugs. They want you to associate it with alcohol." Marilyn Monroe "I dont mind living in a mans world as long as I can be a woman in it." Mark Twain "Most writers regard truth as their most valuable possession, and therefore are most economical in its use." Friedrich Nietzsche "Is man one of God's blunders? Or is God one of man's blunders?" Yogi Berra "It was impossible to get a conversation going, everybody was talking too much." Hunter S. Thompson "A word to the wise is infuriating." Jack Handey "I bet the main reason the police keep people away from a plane crash is they don't want anybody walking in and lying down in the crash stuff, then when somebody comes up act like they just woke up and go, 'What was THAT?!'" Woody Allen "Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it." Neil Armstrong "That's one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind." Tacitus "He that fights and runs away, may turn and fight another day; but he that is in battle slain, will never rise to fight again." Nachman of Bratslav "We each have the kind of children we deserve." Dwight Eisenhower "Few women, I fear, have had such reason as I have to think the long sad years of youth were worth living for the sake of middle age." Martin Luther King Jr. "The Negro needs the white man to free him from his fears. The white man needs the Negro to free him from his guilt." Napoleon Bonaparte "He who knows how to flatter also knows how to slander." George Patton "A pint of sweat, saves a gallon of blood." Frank Lloyd Wright "A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines." George Bernard Shaw "Success does not consist in never making mistakes but in never making the same one a second time." Chief Wiggum "She didn't reckon with the awesome power of the Chief of Police! Now where did I put my badge?...Hey, that duck's got it!" George W. Bush "Freedom is not America's gift to the world, it is the Almighty God's gift to every man and woman in this world." Bill Maher "We have the Bill of Rights. What we need is a Bill of Responsibilities." Aristotle "Personal beauty is a greater recommendation than any letter of reference." George Orwell "All animals are equal but some animals are more equal than others." William Jennings Bryan "Do not compute the totality of your poultry population until all the manifestations of incubation have been entirely completed." Robert Frost "The reason why worry kills more people than work is that more people worry than work." Blaise Pascal "The heart has its reasons, of which the mind knows nothing." Bertrand Russell "To teach how to live with uncertainty, yet without being paralyzed by hesitation, is perhaps the chief thing that philosophy can do." Margaret Bourke-White "Saturate yourself with your subject and the camera will all but take you by the hand." Jedi Master Yoda "Do, or do not. There is no 'try.'" Carl Jung "As far as we can discern, the sole purpose of human existence is to kindle a light of meaning in the darkness of mere being." Benjamin Franklin "Beware of little expenses. A small leak will sink a great ship." Charlie Kaufman "Constantly talking isn't necessarily communicating." Abraham Lincoln "I believe this government cannot endure permanently half slave and half free." Kurt Vonnegut "We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be." Plato "The partisan, when he is engaged in a dispute, cares nothing about the rights of the question, but is anxious only to convince his hearers of his own assertions." GK Chesterton "The only right way of telling a story is to begin at the beginning--at the beginning of the world. Therefore all books have to be begun in the wrong way for the sake of brevity." Dwight Eisenhower "Every step we take towards making the State our Caretaker of our lives, by that much we move toward making the State our Master." Madonna Ciccone "I think that everyone should get married at least once, so you can see what a silly, outdated institution it is." Frank Zappa "If you want to get laid, go to college, but if you want an education, go to the library." Tacitus "It is only necessary to make war with five things: with the maladies of the body, with the ignorances of the mind, with the passions of the body, with the seditions of the city, with the discords of families." Franklin D. Roosevelt "We know that equality of individual ability has never existed and never will, but we do insist that equality of opportunity still must be sought." Woody Allen "The good people sleep much better at night than the bad people. Of course, the bad people enjoy the waking hours much more." George Bernard Shaw "The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it." Homer Simpson "Kids, just because I don't care doesn't mean I'm not listening." Hubert H. Humphrey "Freedom is hammered out on the anvil of discussion, dissent, and debate." Leo Tolstoy "Nietzsche was stupid and abnormal." Oscar Wilde "It is perfectly monstrous the way people go about, nowadays, saying things against one behind one's back that are absolutely and entirely true." Martin Farquhar Tupper "A good book is the best of friends, the same to-day and for ever." George Dennison Prentice "What some call health, if purchased by perpetual anxiety about diet, isn't much better than tedious disease." Thomas Edison "The best thinking has been done in solitude. The worst has been done in turmoil." Harvey Fierstein "Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself." Oliver Wendell Holmes "Eloquence may set fire to reason." Calvin Coolidge "The government of the United States is a device for maintaining in perpetuity the rights of the people, with the ultimate extinction of all privileged classes." Aristotle "The roots of education are bitter, but the fruit is sweet." Saint Augustine "Pray as though everything depended on God. Work as though everything depended on you." Marguerite Gardiner Blessington "There is no cosmetic for beauty like happiness." Thomas Paine "I do not believe in the creed professed by the Jewish church, by the Roman church, by the Greek church, by the Turkish church, by the Protestant church, nor by any church that I know of. My own mind is my own church." Benjamin Disraeli "The magic of first love is our ignorance that it can never end." GK Chesterton "When people stop believing in God, they don't believe in nothing -- they believe in anything." Frank Bruno "Boxing is just show business with blood." John Adams "Great is the guilt of an unnecessary war." Christopher Morley "Men talk of "finding God," but no wonder it is difficult; He is hidden in that darkest hiding-place, your heart. You yourself are a part of Him." C.S. Lewis "If you are really a product of a materialistic universe, how is it that you don't feel at home there?" Ambrose Bierce "We know what happens to people who stay in the middle of the road. They get run over." Thomas Jefferson "It was by the sober sense of our citizens that we were safely and steadily conducted from monarchy to republicanism, and it is by the same agency alone we can be kept from falling back." Dizzy Dean "It ain't braggin' if you can back it up." Mahatma Gandhi "Nonviolence is the greatest force at the disposal of mankind. It is mightier than the mightiest weapon of destruction devised by the ingenuity of man." Thomas Jefferson "Peace and friendship with all mankind is our wisest policy, and I wish we may be permitted to pursue it." Douglas Adams "Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job." C.S. Lewis "Art can teach without at all ceasing to be art." Richard Dawkins "Paley's argument is made with passionate sincerity and is informed by the best biological scholarship of his day, but it is wrong, gloriously and utterly wrong." Ansel Adams "To photograph truthfully and effectively is to see beneath the surfaces and record the qualities of nature and humanity which live or are latent in all things." Benjamin Franklin "Life's Tragedy is that we get old to soon and wise too late." Baltasar Gracian "A wise man gets more use from his enemies than a fool from his friends." Dante Alighieri "He loves but little who can say and count in words how much he loves." George Patton "A pint of sweat, saves a gallon of blood." Alexis de Tocqueville "Life is to entered upon with courage." Colin Powell "Bad news isn't wine. It doesn't improve with age." Dick Cheney "We have to make America the best place in the world to do business." Aldous Huxley "I wanted to change the world. But I have found that the only thing one can be sure of changing is oneself." Tom Stoppard "Every exit is an entry somewhere." William Blake "What is now proved was once only imagined." Alexander Hamilton "A nation which can prefer disgrace to danger is prepared for a master, and deserves one!" Albert Einstein "Generations to come will scarce believe that such a one as [Gandhi] ever in flesh and blood walked upon this earth." Henry Mencken "Every government is a scoundrel." Saint Augustine "Never judge a philosophy by its abuse." Benjamin Franklin "Experience is a dear teacher, but fools will learn at no other."