# Pitfall pack: screenplay

*Type-specific traps for screenplay drafting. Loaded after WRITING-RULES.md. STYLE-GUIDE.md wins where it conflicts.*

## Unfilmable description

Screenplays show pictures and sound. Cut anything the camera and microphone cannot capture.

- Interior thought in action lines ("She remembers her father", "He feels guilty"). Cut. Show the memory through behavior or render it as a flashback scene.
- Backstory in description ("Marcus, who has spent twenty years as a detective..."). Cut. The reader will not see his career history on screen.
- Adjectival character history ("the bitter, divorced accountant"). Show the bitterness in one beat.
- Novel-prose description that paints atmosphere through metaphor. Use concrete physical details only.

## Action line bloat

- Paragraphs longer than three lines. Break.
- Run-on sentences. Action lines should hit like beats: short, declarative, present tense.
- Adverbs in action lines ("she walks slowly across the room"). Cut, or pick a stronger verb.
- "We see" and "we hear" repeated. Use sparingly; they remind the reader they are reading a script, which is sometimes the point and usually not.

## Dialogue pitfalls

- On-the-nose dialogue (characters saying exactly what they mean and feel). Subtext is the form.
- Parentheticals as direction ("(angrily)", "(sadly)"). The actor decides. Use parentheticals only when intent is genuinely ambiguous.
- Speeches over a half-page. Break with action or interruption.
- Every character sounding the same. Read each character's lines back-to-back; if you can swap names without confusion, the voices are not differentiated.
- Phone-call coverage as info dump. Find a more visual way.

## Format tics

- Slug lines that are too long ("INT. THE OLD ABANDONED FACTORY ON THE EDGE OF TOWN - LATE AFTERNOON, SUMMER"). Tighten.
- Day/night sloppiness. Match LATER, CONTINUOUS, MOMENTS LATER to actual time logic.
- Inconsistent character intro caps. The first time a speaking character appears, name in CAPS. Once.
- Camera direction (CLOSE ON, DOLLY IN, PUSH IN) when the script is not for a director-writer. Keep restrained.

## Stock screenplay tells

- "She closes her eyes." (used as transition or emotional beat overuse)
- "A beat." (overused; use it when the beat carries meaning, not as filler)
- "He looks at her. She looks back." (placeholder for a real exchange)
- "Tears stream down her face."
- "He clenches his jaw."

## Pacing pitfalls

- Scenes longer than three pages without a turn. Cut into the moment of change.
- Establishing shots that establish nothing. The first image of a scene must mean something.
- Montages as a substitute for dramatized progression. Earn them.

## Closing pitfalls

- THE END title cards on a script that is not pretending to be silent-era.
- Smash cuts to black on every act break. Vary.
- A final monologue that explains the theme.