//
//  File.swift
//  VisionCameraExample
//
//  Created by Marc Rousavy on 19.02.21.
//

import Foundation

// swiftlint:disable file_length

struct VisionCameraShrek {
// ---> this is the entire script of Shrek 1:
//
// {Man} Once upon a time there was a lovely princess.
//
// But she had an enchantment upon her of a fearful sort which could only
//
// be broken by love's first kiss.
//
// She was locked away in a castle guarded by a terrible fire-breathing
//
// dragon.
//
// Many brave knigts had attempted to free her from this dreadful prison,
//
// but non prevailed.
//
// She waited in the dragon's keep in the highest room of the tallest
//
// tower for her true love and true love's first kiss.
//
// {Laughing}
//
// Like that's ever gonna happen.
//
// {Paper Rusting, Toilet Flushes}
//
// What a load of -
//
//
//
// Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me
//
// I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed
//
// She was lookin' kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb
//
// In the shape of an "L" on her forehead
//
// The years start comin' and they don't stop comin'
//
// Fed to the rules and hit the ground runnin'
//
// Didn't make sense not to live for fun
//
// Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb
//
// So much to do so much to see
//
// So what's wrong with takin' the backstreets
//
// You'll never know if you don't go
//
// You'll never shine if you don't glow
//
// Hey, now You're an all-star
//
// Get your game on, go play
//
// Hey, now You're a rock star
//
// Get the show on, get paid
//
// And all that glitters is gold
//
// Only shootin' stars break the mold
//
// It's a cool place and they say it gets colder
//
// You're bundled up now but wait till you get older
//
// But the meteor men beg to differ
//
// Judging by the hole in the satellite picture
//
// The ice we skate is gettin' pretty thin
//
// The water's getting warm so you might as well swim
//
// My world's on fire
//
// How 'bout yours
//
// That's the way I like it and I'll never get bored
//
// Hey, now, you're an all-star
//
// {Shouting}
//
// Get your game on, go play
//
// Hey, now You're a rock star
//
// Get the show on, get paid
//
// And all that glitters is gold
//
// Only shootin' stars break the mold
//
// {Belches}
//
// Go!
//
// Go!
//
// {Record Scratching}
//
// Go. Go.Go.
//
// Hey, now, you're an all-star
//
// Get your game on, go play
//
// Hey, now You're a rock star
//
// Get the show on, get paid
//
// And all that glitters is gold
//
// Only shootin' stars break the mold
//
//
//
// -Think it's in there?
//
// -All right. Let's get it!
//
// -Whoa. Hold on. Do you know what that thing can do to you?
//
// -Yeah, it'll grind your bones for it's bread.
//
// {Laughs}
//
// -Yes, well, actually, that would be a gaint.
//
// Now, ogres - - They're much worse.
//
// They'll make a suit from your freshly peeled skin.
//
// -No!
//
// -They'll shave your liver. Squeeze the jelly from your eyes!
//
// Actually, it's quite good on toast.
//
// -Back! Back, beast! Back! I warn ya!
//
// {Gasping}
//
// -Right.
//
// {Roaring}
//
// {Shouting}
//
// {Roaring}
//
// {Whispers} This is the part where you run away.
//
// {Gasping}
//
// {Laughs}
//
// {Laughing} And stay out!
//
// "Wanted. Fairy tale creatures."
//
// {Sighs}
//
// {Man's voice} All right. This one's full.
//
// -Take it away!
//
// {Gasps}
//
// -Move it along. Come on! Get up!
//
// -Next!
//
// -Give me that! Your fiying days are over.
//
// That's 20 pieces of silver for the witch. Next!
//
// -Get up! Come on!
//
// -Twenty pieces.
//
// {Thudding}
//
// -Sit down there!
//
// -Keep quiet!
//
// {Crying}
//
// -This cage is too small.
//
// -Please, don't turn me in. I'll never be stubborn again.
//
// I can change. Please! Give me another chance!
//
// -Oh, shut up.
//
// -Oh!
//
// -Next!
//
// -What have you got?
//
// -This little wooden puppet.
//
// -I'm not a puppet. I'm a real boy.
//
// -Five shillings for the possessed toy. Take it away.
//
// -Father, please! Don't let them do this!
//
// -Help me!
//
// -Next! What have you got?
//
// -Well, I've got a talking donkey.
//
// {Grunts}
//
// -Right. Well, that's good for ten shillings, if you can prove it.
//
// -Oh, go ahead, little fella.
//
// -Well?
//
// -Oh, oh, he's just - - He's just a little nervous.
//
// He's really quite a chatterbox. Talk, you boneheaded dolt - -
//
// -That's it. I've heard enough. Guards!
//
// -No, no, he talks! He does. I can talk. I love to talk.
//
// I'm the talkingest damn thing you ever saw.
//
// -Get her out of my sight.
//
// -No, no! I swear! Oh! He can talk!
//
// {Gasps}
//
// -Hey! I can fly!
//
// -He can fly!
//
// -He can fly!
//
// -He can talk!
//
// -Ha, ha! That's right, fool! Now I'm a flying, talking donkey.
//
// You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly
//
// but I bet you ain't never seen a donkey fly. Ha, ha!
//
// Oh-oh.
//
// {Grunts}
//
// -Seize him!
//
// -After him! He's getting away!
//
// {Grunts, Gasps}
//
// {Man}
//
// -Get him! This way! Turn!
//
// -You there. Orge!
//
// -Aye?
//
// -By the order of Lord Farquaad I am authorized to place you both under
//
// arrest
//
// and transport you to a designated..... resettlement facility.
//
// -Oh, really? You and what army?
//
// {Gasps, Whimpering}
//
// {Chuckles}
//
// -Can I say something to you?
//
// -Listen, you was really, really, really somethin' back here.
//
// Incredible!
//
// Are you talkin' to - - me? Whoa!
//
// -Yes. I was talkin' to you. Can I tell you that you that you was great
//
// back here? Those guards!
//
// They thought they was all of that. Then you showed up, and bam! They
//
// was trippin' over themselves like babes in the woods. That really made
//
// me feel good to see that.
//
// -Oh, that's great. Really.
//
// -Man, it's good to be free.
//
// -Now, why don't you go celebrate your freedom with your own friends?
//
// Hmm?
//
// -But, uh, I don't have any friends. And I'm not goin' out there by
//
// myself. Hey, wait a minute! I got a great idea! I'll stick with you.
//
// You're mean, green, fightin' machine. Together we'll scare the spit
//
// out of anybody that crosses us.
//
// {Roaring}
//
// -Oh, wow! That was really scary. If you don't mind me sayin', if that
//
// don't work, your breath certainly will get the job done, 'cause you
//
// definitely need some Tic Tacs or something, 'cause you breath stinks!
//
// You almost burned the hair outta my nose, just like the time - -
//
// {Mumbling}
//
// Than I ate some rotten berries. I had strong gases eking out of my
//
// butt that day.
//
// -Why are you following me?
//
// -I'll tell you why.
//
//
//
// 'Cause I'm all alone
//
// There's no one here beside me
//
// My promlems have all gone
//
// There's no one to deride me
//
// But you gotta heve friends - -
//
//
//
// -Stop singing! It's no wonder you don't have any friends.
//
// -Wow. Only a true friend would be that cruelly honest.
//
// -Listen, little donkey. Take a look at me. What am I?
//
// -Uh - - Really tall?
//
// -No! I'm an orge! You know. "Grab your torch and pitchforks." Doesn't
//
// that bother you?
//
// -Nope.
//
// -Really?
//
// -Really, really.
//
// -Oh.
//
// -Man, I like you. What's you name?
//
// -Uh, Shrek.
//
// -Shrek? Well, you know what I like about you, Shrek?
//
// You got that kind of I-don't-care-what-nobody-thinks-of-me thing.
//
// I like that. I respect that, Shrek. You all right. Whoo! Look at that.
//
// Who'd want to live in place like that?
//
// -That would be my home.
//
// -Oh! And it is lovely! Just beautiful. You know you are quite a
//
// decorator. It's amazing what you've done with such a modest budget. I
//
// like that boulder. That is a nice boulder.
//
// -I guess you don't entertain much, do you?
//
// -I like my privacy.
//
// -You know, I do too. That's another thing we have in common. Like I
//
// hate it when you got somebody in your face. You've trying to give them
//
// a hint, and they won't leave. There's that awkward silence.
//
// -Can I stay with you?
//
// -Uh, what?
//
// -Can I stay with you, please?
//
// -Of course!
//
// -Really?
//
// -No.
//
// -Please! I don't wanna go back there! You don't know what it's like to
//
// be considered a freak. Well, maybe you do. But that's why we gotta
//
// stick together. You gotta let me stay! Please! Please!
//
// -Okay! Okay! But one night only.
//
// -Ah! Thank you!
//
// -What are you - - No! No!
//
// -This is gonna be fun! We can stay up late, swappin' manly stories,
//
// and in the mornin' I'm makin' waffles.
//
// -Oh!
//
// -Where do, uh, I sleep?
//
// -Outside!
//
// -Oh, well. I guess that's cool. I mean, I don't know you, and you
//
// don't know me, so I guess outside is best, you know.
//
// {Sniffles}
//
// -Here I go.
//
// -Good night.
//
// {Sighs}
//
// -I mean, I do like the outdoors. I'm a donkey. I was born outside.
//
// I'll just be sitting by myself outside, I guess, you know. By myself,
//
// outside.
//
//
//
// I'm all alone
//
// There's no one here beside me
//
// {Bubbling}
//
// {Sighs}
//
// {Creaking}
//
// {Sighs}
//
// -I thought I told you to stay outside.
//
// -I'm outside.
//
// {Clattering}
//
// -Well, gents, it's a far cry from the farm, but what choice do we
//
// have?
//
// -It's not home, but it'll do just fune.
//
// -What a lovely bed.
//
// -Got ya.
//
// {Sniffs} I found some cheese.
//
// -Ow! {Grunts}
//
// -Blah! Awful stuff.
//
// -Is that you, Gorder?
//
// -How did you know?
//
// -Enough! What are you doing in my house?
//
// {Grunts}
//
// -Hey!
//
// {Snickers}
//
// -Oh, no, no, no. Dead broad off the table.
//
// -Where are we supposed to put her? The bed's taken.
//
// -Huh?
//
// {Gusps}
//
// {Male voice} What?
//
// -I live in a swamp. I put up signs. I'm a terrifying orge! What do I
//
// have to do get a little privacy?
//
// -Aah!
//
// -Oh, no. No! No!
//
// {Cackling}
//
// -What?
//
// -Quit it.
//
// -Don't push.
//
// {Squeaking}
//
// {Lows}
//
// - What are you doing in my swamp?
//
// {Echoing}
//
// Swamp! Swamp! Swamp!
//
// {Gasping}
//
// -Oh, dear!
//
// -Whoa!
//
// -All right, get out of here. All of you, move it! Come on! Let's go!
//
// Hapaya! Hapaya! Hey!
//
// -Quickly. Come on!
//
// -No, no! No, no. Not there. Not there.
//
// -Oh!
//
// {Sighs}
//
// -Hey, don't look at me. I didn't invite them.
//
// -Oh, gosh, no one invited us.
//
// -What?
//
// -We were forced to come here.
//
// -By who?
//
// -Lord Farquaad.
//
// -He huffed und he puffed und he...... signed an eviction notice.
//
// {Sighs}
//
// -All right. Who knows where this Farquaad guy is?
//
// {Murmuring}
//
// -Oh, I do. I know where he is.
//
// -Does anyone else know where to find him? Anyone at all?
//
// -Me! Me!
//
// -Anyone?
//
// -Oh! Oh, pick me! Oh, I know! I know! Me, me!
//
// {Sighs}
//
// -Okay, fine. Attention, all fairy tale things. Do not get comfortable.
//
// Your welcome is officially worn out. In fact, I'm gonna see this guy
//
// Farquaad right now and get you all off my land and back where you came
//
// from!
//
// {Cheering}
//
// {Twittering}
//
// -Oh! You! You're comin' with me.
//
// - All right, that's what I like to hear, man. Shrek and Donkey, two
//
// stalwart friends, off on a whirlwind big-city adventure. I love it!
//
// -On the road again. Sing it with me, Shrek.
//
// -Hey. Oh, oh!
//
// -I can't wait to get on the road again.
//
// -What did I say about singing?
//
// -Can I whistle?
//
// -No.
//
// -Can I hum it?
//
// -All right, hum it.
//
// {Humming}
//
//
//
// {Grunts}
//
// {Whimpering}
//
// -That's enough. He's ready to talk.
//
// {Coughing}
//
// {Laughing}
//
// {Clears throat}
//
// -Run, run, run, as fust as you can. You can't catch me. I'm the
//
// gingerbread man!
//
// -You are a monster.
//
// -I'm not the monster here. You are. You and the rest of that fairy
//
// tale trash, poisoning my perfect world. Now, tell me! Where are the
//
// others?
//
// -Eat me!{Grunts}
//
// -I've tried to be fair to you creatures. Now my patience has reached
//
// its end! Tell me or I'll - -
//
// -No, no, not the buttons. Not my gumdrop buttons.
//
// -All right then. Who's hiding them?
//
// -Okay, I'll tell you. Do you know the muffin man?
//
// -The muffin man?
//
// -The muffin man.
//
// -Yes, I know the muffin man, who lives on Drury Lane?
//
// -Well, she's married to the muffin man.
//
// -The muffin man?
//
// -The muffin man!
//
// -She's married to the muffin man.
//
// {Door opens}
//
// -My lord! We found it.
//
// -Then what are you waiting for? Bring it in.
//
// {Man grunting}
//
// {Gasping}
//
// -Oh!
//
// -Magic mirror - -
//
// -Don't tell him anything!
//
// -No!
//
// {Ginerbread man whispers}
//
// -Evening. Mirror, mirror on the wall. Is this not the most perfect
//
// kingdom of them all?
//
// -Well, technically you're not a king.
//
// -Uh, Thelonius.
//
// -You were saying?
//
// -What I mean is, you're not a king yet. But you can become one.  All
//
// you have to do is marry a princess.
//
// -Go on.
//
// {Chuckles}
//
// -So, just sit back and relax, my lord, because it's time for you to
//
// meet today's eligible bachelorettes. And here they are! Bachelorette
//
// number one is a mentally abused shut-in from a kingdom far, far away.
//
// She likes sushi and hot tubbing anytime. Her hobbies include cooking
//
// and cleaning for her two evil sisters. Please welcome Cinderella.
//
// -Bachelorette number two is a cape-wearing girl from the land of
//
// fancy. Although she lives with seven other men, she's not easy. Just
//
// kiss her dead, frozen lips and find out what a live wire she is. Come
//
// on. Give it up for Snow White!
//
// -And last, but certainly not last, bachelorette number three is a
//
// fiery redhead from a dragon-guarded castle surrounded by hot boiling
//
// lava! But don't let that cool you off. She's a loaded pistol who likes
//
// pina colads and getting caught in the rain. Yours for the rescuing,
//
// Princess Fiona!
//
// -So will it be bachelorette number one, bachelorette number two or
//
// bachelorette number three?
//
// -Two! Two!
//
// -Three! Three!
//
// -Two! Two!
//
// -Three!
//
// -Three? One?
//
// {Shudders} Three?
//
// --Three! Pick number three, my lord!
//
// -Okay, okay, uh, number three!
//
// -Lord Farquaad, you've chosen Princess Fiona.
//
//
//
// If you like pina coladas
//
// And getting caught in the rain
//
//
//
// -Princess Fiona.
//
//
//
// If you're not into yoga
//
//
//
// -She's perfect. All I have to do is just find someone who can go - -
//
// -But I probably should mention the little thing that happens at night.
//
// -I'll do it.
//
// -Yes, but after sunset - -
//
// -Silence! I will make this Princess Fiona my queen, and DuLoc will
//
// finally have the perfect king!
//
// Captain, assemble your finest men. We're going to have a tournament.
//
//
//
// -But that's it. That's it right there. That's DuLoc. I told ya I'd
//
// find it.
//
// -So, that must be Lord Farquaad's castle.
//
// -Uh-huh. That's the place.
//
// -Do you think maybe he's compensating for something?
//
// {Laughs}
//
// {Groans}
//
// -Hey, wait. Wait up, Shrek.
//
// -Hurry, darling. We're late. Hurry.
//
// -Hey, you!
//
// {Screams}
//
// -Wait a second. Look, I'm not gonna eat you. I just - - I just - -
//
// {Whimpering}
//
// {Sighs}
//
// {Whimpering, Groans}
//
// {Turnstile clatters}
//
// {Chuckles}
//
// {Sighs}
//
// -It's quiet. Too quiet.
//
// {Creaking}
//
// -Where is everybody?
//
// -Hey, look at this!
//
// {Clattering, whirring, clicking}
//
// Welcome to DuLoc such a perfect town
//
// Here we have some rules
//
// Let us lay them down
//
// Don't make waves, stay in line
//
// And we'll get along fine
//
// DuLoc is perfect place
//
// Please keep off of the grass
//
// Shine your shoes, wipe your... face
//
// DuLoc is, DuLoc is
//
// DuLoc is perfect ...... place
//
// {Camera shutter clicks
//
// {Whirring}
//
// -Wow! Let's do that again!
//
// -No. No. No, no, no! No.
//
// {Trumpet fanfare}
//
// {Crowd cheering}
//
// -Brave knights.
//
// -You are the best and brightest in all the land.
//
// -Today one of you shall prove himself - -
//
// -All right. You're going the right way for a smacked bottom.
//
// -Sorry about that.
//
// {Cheering}
//
// -That champion shall have the honor - - no, no - - the privilege to go
//
// forth and rescue the lovely Princess Fiona from the fiery keep of the
//
// dragon. If for any reason the winner is unsuccessful, the first
//
// runner-up will take his place and so on and so forth. Some of you mae
//
// die, but it's a sacrifice I am willing to make.
//
// {Cheering}
//
// -Let the tournament begin!
//
// {Gasps}
//
// -Oh!
//
// -What is that?
//
// {Gasping}
//
// -It's hideous!
//
// -Ah, that's not very nice. It's just a donkey.
//
// -Indeed. Knights, new plan! The one who kills the orge will be named
//
// champion! Have it him!
//
// -Get him!
//
// -Oh, hey! Now come on! Hang on now.
//
// -Go ahead! Get him!
//
// -Can't we just settle this over a pint?
//
// -Kill the beast!
//
// -No? All right then. Come on!
//
//
//
// I don't give a damn about my reputation
//
// You're living in the past
//
// It's a new generation
//
//
//
// -Damn!
//
// {Whinnying}
//
//
//
// A girl can do what she wants to do
//
// And that's what I'm gonna do
//
// And I don't give a damn about my bad reputation
//
// Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Not me
//
// Me, me, me
//
//
//
// -Hey, Shrek, tag me! Tag me!
//
//
//
// And I don't give a damn about my bad reputation
//
// Never said I wanted to improve my station
//
//
//
// -Ah!
//
// {Laughs}
//
//
//
// And I'm always feelin' good when I'm having fun
//
//
//
// -Yeah!
//
//
//
// And I don't have to please no one
//
//
//
// -The chair! Give him the chair!
//
//
//
// And I don't give a damn about my bad reputation
//
// Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Not me
//
// Me, me, me
//
// Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Not me, not me
//
// {Bell dings}
//
// {Cheering}
//
// {Laughs}
//
// -Oh, yeah! Ah! Ah! Thank you! Thank you very much! I'm here till
//
// Thursday. Try the veal! Ha, ha!
//
// {Shrek laughs}
//
// {Crowd gasping, murmuring}
//
// -Shall I give the order, sir?
//
// -No, I have a better idea. People of DuLoc, I give you our champion!
//
// -What?
//
// -Congratulations, orge. You're won the honor of embarking on a great
//
// and noble quest.
//
// -Quest? I'm already in a quest, a quest to get my swamp back.
//
// -Your swamp?
//
// -Yeah, my swamp! Where you dumped those tale creatures!
//
// {Crowd murmuring}
//
// -Indeed. All right, orge. I'll make you a deal. Go on this quest for
//
// me, and I'll give you your swamp back.
//
// -Exactly the way it was?
//
// -Down to the last slime-covered toadstool.
//
// -And the squatters?
//
// -As good as gone.
//
// -What kind of quest?
//
// -Let me get this straight. You're gonna go fight a dragon and rescue a
//
// princess just so Farquaad will give you back a swamp which you only
//
// don't have because he filled it full of freaks in the first place.
//
// -Is that about right?
//
// -Maybe there's a good reason donkeys shouldn't talk.
//
// -I don't get it. Why don't you just pull some of that orge stuff on
//
// him? Throttle him, lay siege to his fortress, grinds his bones to make
//
// your bread, the whole orge trip.
//
// -Oh, I know what. Maybe I could have decapitated an entire village and
//
// put their heads on a pike, gotten a knife, cut open their spleen and
//
// drink their fluids. Does that sound good to you?
//
// -Uh, no, not really, no.
//
// -For your information, there's a lot more to orges than people think.
//
// -Example?
//
// -Example? Okay, um, orges are like onions.
//
// -{Sniffs} They stink?
//
// -Yes - - No!
//
// -They make you cry?
//
// -No!
//
// -You leave them in the sun, they get all brown, start sproutin' little
//
// white hairs.
//
// -No! Layers! Onions have layers. Orges have layers! Onions have
//
// layers. You get it? We both have layers.
//
// {Sighs}
//
// -Oh, you both have layers. Oh. {Sniffs} You know, not everybody likes
//
// onions. Cake! Everybody loves cakes! Cakes have layers.
//
// -I don't care... what everyone likes. Orges are not like cakes.
//
// -You know what else everybody likes? Parfaits. Have you ever met a
//
// person, you say, "Let's get some parfait," they say, "No, I don't like
//
// no parfait"? Parfaits are delicious.
//
// -No! You dense, irritating, miniature beast of burden! Orges are like
//
// onions! And of story. Bye-bye. See ya later.
//
// -Parfaits may be the most delicious thing on the whole damn planet.
//
// -You know, I think I preferred your humming. Do you have a tissure or
//
// something? I'm making a mess. Just the word parfait make me start
//
// slobbering.
//
//
//
// I'm on my way from misery to happiness today
//
// Uh-huh,uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh
//
// I'm on my way from misery to happiness today
//
// Uh-huh,uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh
//
// And everything that you receive up yonder
//
// Is what you give to me the day I wander
//
// I'm on my way
//
// I'm on my way
//
// I'm on my way
//
//
//
// -Ohh! Shrek! Did you do that?
//
// -You gotta warn somebody before you just crack one off. My mouth was
//
// open. Believe me, Donkey, if it was me, you'd be dead. {Sniffs} It's
//
// brimstone We must be getting close.
//
// -Yeah, right, brimstone. Don't be talking about it's the brimstone. I
//
// know what I smell. It wasn't no brimstone. It didn't come off no stone
//
// neither.
//
// {Rumbling}
//
// -Sure, it's big enough, but look at the location.
//
// {Laughing}
//
// -Uh, Shrek? Uh, remember when you said orges have layers?
//
// -Oh, aye.
//
// -Well, I have a bit of a confession to make. Donkeys don't have
//
// layers. We wear our fear right out there on our sleeves.
//
// -Wait a second.  Donkeys don't have sleeves.
//
// -You know what I mean.
//
// -You can't tell me you're afraid of heights.
//
// -I'm just a little uncomfortable about being on a rickety bridge over
//
// a boiling like of lava!
//
// -Come on, Donkey. I'm right here beside ya, okay? For emotional
//
// support., we'll just tackle this thing together one little baby step
//
// at a time.
//
// -Really?
//
// -Really, really.
//
// -Okay, that makes me feel so much better.
//
// -Just keep moving. And don't look  down.
//
// -Okay, don't look  down. Don't look  down. Don't look  down. Keep on
//
// moving. Don't look  down.
//
// {Gasps}
//
// -Shrek! I'm lookin' down! Oh, God, I can't do this! Just let me off,
//
// please!
//
// -But you're already halfway.
//
// -But I know that half is safe!
//
// -Okay, fine. I don't have time for this. You go back.
//
// -Shrek, no! Wait!
//
// -Just, Donkey - - Let's have a dance then, shall me?
//
// -Don't do that!
//
// -Oh, I'm sorry. Do what?
//
// -Oh, this?
//
// -Yes, that!
//
// -Yes? Yes, do it. Okay.
//
// {Screams}
//
// -No, Shrek! No! Stop it!
//
// -You said do it! I'm doin' it.
//
// -I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. Shrek, I'm gonna die. Oh!
//
// -That'll do, Donkey. That'll do.
//
// -Cool.
//
// -So where is this fire-breathing pain-in-the-neck anyway?
//
// -Inside, waiting for us to rescue her.
//
// {Chuckles}
//
// -I was talkin' about the dragon, Shrek.
//
// {Water dripping, wind howling}
//
// -You afraid?
//
// -No.
//
// -But - -
//
// - Shh.
//
// -Oh, good. Me neither.
//
// {Gasps}
//
// -'Cause there's nothin' wrong with bein' afraid. Fear's a sensible
//
// response to an unfamiliar situation. Unfamiliar dangerous situation, I
//
// might add. With a dragon that breathes fire and eats knights and
//
// breathes fire, it sure doesn't mean you're a coward if you're a little
//
// scared. I sure as heck ain't no coward. I know that.
//
// {Gasps}
//
// -Donkey, two things, okay? Shut ... up. Now go over there and see if
//
// you can find any stairs.
//
// -Stairs? I thought we was lookin' for the princess.
//
// -The princess will be up the stairs in the highest room in the tallest
//
// tower.
//
// -What makes you think she'll be there?
//
// -I read it in a book once.
//
// -Cool. You handle the dragon. I'll handle the stairs. I'll find those
//
// stairs. I'll whip their butt too. Those stairs won't know which way
//
// they're goin'.
//
// {Creacing}
//
// -I'm gonna take drastic steps. Kick it to the curb. Don't mess with
//
// me. I'm the stair master. I've mastered the stairs. I wish I had a
//
// step right here. I'd step all over it.
//
// -Well, at least we know where the princess is, but where's the - -
//
// -Dragon!
//
// {Screams}
//
// {Gasps}
//
// {Roars}
//
// -Donkey, look out!
//
// {Screams}
//
// {Whimpering}
//
// -Got ya!
//
// {Roars}
//
// {Gasps}
//
// {Shouts}
//
// -Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
//
// {Screaming}
//
// {Gasps}
//
// -Oh! Aah! Aah!
//
// {Gasping}
//
// {Crowls}
//
// -No. Oh, no, No!
//
// {Screams}
//
// -Oh, what large teeth you have.
//
// {Crowls}
//
// -I mean white, sparkling teeth. I know you probably hear this all time
//
// from your food, but you must bleach, 'cause that is one dazzling smile
//
// you got  there. Do I detect a hint of minty freshness? And you know
//
// what else? You're - - You're a girl dragon! Oh, sure! I mean, of
//
// course you're a girl dragon. You're just reeking of feminine beauty.
//
// What's the matter with you? You got something in your eye? Ohh. Oh.
//
// Oh. Man, I'd really love to stay, but you know, I'm, uh - -
//
// (Coughs)
//
// -I'm an asthmatic, and I don't know if it'd work out if you're gonna
//
// blow smoke rings. Shrek!
//
// {Gasps}
//
// {Whimpering}
//
// -No! Shrek! Shrek! Shrek!
//
// {Groans, Sighs}
//
// {Vocalizing}
//
// -Oh! Oh!
//
// -Wake up!
//
// -What?
//
// -Are you Princess Fiona?
//
// -I am, awaiting a knight so bold as to rescue me.
//
// -Oh, that's nice. Now let's go!
//
// -But wait, Sir Knight. This be-ith our first meeting. Should it not be
//
// a wonderful, romantic moment?
//
// -Yeah, sorry, lady. There's no time.
//
// -Hey, wait. What are you doing? You should sweep me off my feet out
//
// yonder window and down a rope onto your valiant steed.
//
// -You've had a lot of time to plan this, haven't you?
//
// -Mm-hmm.
//
// {Screams, grunts}
//
// -But we have to savor this moment! You could recite an epic poem for
//
// me. A ballad? A sonnet! A limerick? Or something!
//
// -I don't think so.
//
// -Can I at least know the name of my champion?
//
// -Um, Shrek.
//
// -Sir Shrek.
//
// {Cleans throat}
//
// -I pray that you take this favor as a token of my gratitude.
//
// -Thanks!
//
// {Roaring}
//
// -You didn't slay the dragon?
//
// -It's on my to-do list. Now come on!
//
// {Screams}
//
// -But this isn't right! You were meant to charge in, sword drawn,
//
// banner flying. That's what all the other knights did.
//
// -Yeah, right before they burst into flame.
//
// -That's not the point. Oh!
//
// -Wait. Where are you going? The next's over there.
//
// -Well, I have to save my ass.
//
// -What kind of knight are you?
//
// -One of a kind.
//
// -Slow down. Slow down, baby, please. I believe it's healthy to get to
//
// know someone over a long perriod of time. Just call me old-fashioned.
//
// {Laughs}
//
// -I don't want to rush into a physical relationship. I'm not
//
// emotionally ready for a commitment of, uh, this - -  Magnitude really
//
// is the word I'm looking for. Magnitude- - Hey, that is unwanted
//
// physical contact. Hey, what are you doing? Okay, okay. Let's just back
//
// up a little and take this one step at a time. We really should get to
//
// know each other first as friends or pen pals. I'm on the road a lot,
//
// but I just love receiving cards - -  I'd really love to stay, but - -
//
// Don't do that! That's my tail! That's my personal tail. You're gonna
//
// tear it off. I don't give permission - - What are you gonna do with
//
// that? Hey, now. No way. No! No! No, no! No. No, no, no. No! Oh!
//
// {Growls}
//
// {Roaring}
//
// {Gasps}
//
// -Hi, Princess!
//
// -It talks!
//
// -Yeah, it's getting him to shut up that's the trick.
//
// {Screams}
//
// {Screaming}
//
// -Oh!
//
// {Thuds}
//
// {Groans}
//
// {Roars}
//
// {Roaring}
//
// -Okay, you two, heard for the exit! I'll take care of the dragon.
//
// {Fchoing}
//
// -Run!
//
// {Gasping}
//
// {Screaming}
//
// {Roaring}
//
// {Screams}
//
// {Roars}
//
// {Panting, sighs}
//
// {Whimpers}
//
// {Roars}
//
// -You did it!
//
// -You rescued me! You're amazing. You're - - You're wonderful.
//
// You're... a little unorthodox I'll admit. But they deed is great, and
//
// thine heart is pure. I am eternally in your debt.
//
// {Clears throat}
//
// -And where would a brave knight be without his noble steed?
//
// -I hope you heard that. She called me a noble steed. She think I'm a
//
// steed.
//
// -The battle is won. You may remove your helmet, good Sir Knight.
//
// -Uh, no.
//
// -Why not?
//
// -I have helmet hair.
//
// -Please. I would'st look upon the face of my rescuer.
//
// -No, no, you wouldn't - - 'st.
//
// -But how will you kiss me?
//
// -What? That wasn't in the job description.
//
// -Maybe it's a perk.
//
// -No, it's destiny. Oh, you must know how it goes. A princess locked in
//
// a tower and beset by a dragon is rescued by a brave knight, and then
//
// they share true love's first kiss.
//
// -Hmm? With Shrek? You think- - Wait. Wait. You think that Shrek is you
//
// true love?
//
// -Well, yes.
//
// {Laughing}
//
// -You think Shrek is your true love!
//
// -What is so funny?
//
// -Let's just say I'm not your tipe, okay?
//
// -Of course, you are. You're my rescuer. Now - - Now remove your
//
// helmet.
//
// -Look. I really don't think this is a good idea.
//
// -Just take off the helmet.
//
// -I'm not going to.
//
// -Take ot off.
//
// -No!
//
// -Now!
//
// -Okay! Easy. As you command. Your Highness.
//
// -You- - You're a- - an orge.
//
// -Oh, you were expecting Prince Charming.
//
// -Well, yes, actually. Oh, no. This is all wrong. You're not supposed
//
// to be an orge.
//
// {Sighs}
//
// -Princess, I was sent to rescue you by Lord Farquaad, okay? He is the
//
// one who wants to marry you.
//
// -Then why didn't he come rescue me?
//
// -Good question. You should ask him that when we get there.
//
// -But I have to be rescued by my true love, not by some prge and his- -
//
// his pet.
//
// -So much for noble steed.
//
// -You're not making my job any easier.
//
// -I'm sorry, but your job is not my problem. You can tell Lord Farquaad
//
// that if he wants to rescue me properly, I'll be waiting for him right
//
// here.
//
// -Hey! I'm no one's messenger boy, all right? I'm a delivery boy.
//
// -You wouldn't dare. Put me down!
//
// -Ya comin', Donkey?
//
// -I'm right behind ya.
//
// -Put me down, or you will suffer the consequences! This is not
//
// dignified! Put me down!
//
// -Okay, so here's another question. Say there's a woman that digs you,
//
// right, but you don't really like her that way. How do you let her down
//
// real easy so her feelings aren't hurt, but you don't get burned to a
//
// crisp and eaten?
//
// -You just tell her she's not your true love. Everyone knowest what
//
// happens when you find your - -  Hey!
//
// {Sighs}
//
// -The sooner we get to DuLoc the better.
//
// -You're gonna love it there, Princess. It's beautiful!
//
// -And what of my groom-to-be? Lord Farquaad? What's he like?
//
// -Let me put it this way, Princess. Men of Farquaad's stature are in
//
// short supply.
//
// {Laughs}
//
// -I don't know. There are those who think little of him.
//
// -Stop it. Stop it, both of you. You're just jealous you can never
//
// measure up to a great ruler like Lord Farquaad.
//
// -Yeah, well, maybe you're right, Princess. But I'll let you do the
//
// "measuring" when you see him tomorrow.
//
// -Tomorrow? It'll take that long? Shouldn't we stop to make camp?
//
// -No, that'll take longer. We can keep going.
//
// -But there's robbers in the woods.
//
// -Whoa! Time out, Shrek! Camping's starting to sound good.
//
// -Hey, come on. I'm scarier than anything we're going to see in this
//
// forest.
//
// -I need to find somewhere to camp now!
//
// {Birds wings fluttering}
//
// {Grunting}
//
// -Hey! Over here.
//
// -Shrek, we can do better than that. I don't think this is fit for a
//
// princess.
//
// -No, no, it's perfect. It just needs a few homey touches.
//
// -Homey touches? Like what?
//
// {Crashing}
//
// -A door? Well, gentlemen, I bid thee good night.
//
// -You want me to read you a bedtime story? I will.
//
// -I said good night!
//
// -Shrek, What are you doing?
//
// {Laughs}
//
// -I just- - You know - - Oh, come on. I was just kidding.
//
// {Fire cracking}
//
// -And, uh, that one, that's Throwback, the only orge to ever spit over
//
// three wheat fields. Right. Yeah.
//
// -Hey, can you tell my future from these stars?
//
// -The stars don't tell the future, Donkey. They tell stories. Look,
//
// there's Bloodnut, the Flatulent. You can guess what he's famous for.
//
// -I know you're making this up.
//
// -No, look. There he is,  and there's the group of hunters running away
//
// from his stench.
//
// -That ain't nothin' but a bunch of little dots.
//
// -You know, Donkey, sometimes things are more than they appear. Hmm?
//
// Forget it.
//
// {Sighs}
//
// -Hey, Shrek, what we gonna do when we get our swamp anyway?
//
// -Our swamp?
//
// -You know, when we're through rescuing the princess.
//
// -We? Donkey, there's no "we". There's no "our". There's just me and my
//
// swamp. The first thing I'm gonna do is build a ten-foot wall arond my
//
// land.
//
// -You cut me deep, Shrek. You cut me real deep just now. You know what
//
// I think? I think this whole wall thing is just a way to keep somebody
//
// out.
//
// -No, do ya think?
//
// -Are you hidin' something?
//
// -Never mind, Donkey.
//
// -Oh, this is another one of those onion things, isn't it?
//
// -No, this is one of those drop-it and leave-it alone things.
//
// -Why don't you want to talk about it?
//
// -Why do you want to talk about it?
//
// -Why are you blocking?
//
// -I'm not blocking.
//
// -Oh, yes, you are.
//
// -Donkey, I'm warning you.
//
// -Who you trying to keep out?
//
// -Everyone! Okay?
//
// -Oh, now we're gettin' somewhere.
//
// -Oh! For the love of Pete!
//
// -What's your problem? What you got against the whole world anyway?
//
// -Look, I'm not the one with the problem, okay? It's the world that
//
// seems to have a problem with me. People take one look at me and go.
//
// "Aah! Help! Run! A big, stupid, ugly orge!" They judge me before they
//
// even know me. That's why I'm better off alone.
//
// -You know what? When we met, I didn't think you was just a big,
//
// stupid, ugly orge.
//
// -Yeah, I know.
//
// -So, uh, are there any donkeys up there?
//
// -Well, there's, um, Gabby, the Small and Annoying.
//
// -Okay, okay, I see it now. The big shiny one, right there. That one
//
// there?
//
// -That's the moon.
//
// -Oh, okay.
//
//
//
// {Orchestra}
//
// {Dulcimer}
//
// -Again, show me again. Mirror, mirror, show her to me. Show me the
//
// princess.
//
// -Hmph.
//
// -Ah. Perfect.
//
// {Inhales}
//
//
//
// {Snoring}
//
// {Vocalizing}
//
// {Whistling}
//
// {Sizzling}
//
// {Sniffs, yawns}
//
// -Mmm, yeah, you know I like it like that.
//
// --Come on, baby. I said I like it.
//
// -Donkey, wake up.
//
// -Huh? What?
//
// -Wake up.
//
// -What?
//
// -Good morning. Hm, how do you like your eggs?
//
// -Good morning, Princess!
//
// -What's all this about?
//
// -You know, we kind of got off to a bad start yesterday. I wanted to
//
// make it up to you. I mean, after all, you did rescue me.
//
// -Uh, thanks.
//
// {Sniffs}
//
// -Well, eat up. We've got a big day ahead of us.
//
// {Belches}
//
// -Shrek!
//
// -What? It's a compliment. Better out than in, I always say. {Laughs}
//
// -Well, it's no way to behave in front of a princess.
//
// {Belches}
//
// -Thanks.
//
// -She's as nasty as you are.
//
// -{Laughs} You know, you're not exactly what I expected.
//
// -Well, maybe you shouldn't judge people before you get to know them.
//
// {Vocalizing}
//
//
//
// -La liberte! Hey!
//
// -Princess!
//
// {Laughs}
//
// -What are you doing?
//
// -Be still, mon cherie, for I am you savior! And I am rescuing you from
//
// this green - -
//
// {Kissing sounds}
//
// -beast.
//
// -Hey!
//
// -That's my princess! Go find you own!
//
// -Please, monster! Can't you see I'm a little busy here?
//
// -Look, pal, I don't know who you think you are!
//
// -Oh! Of couse! Oh, how rude. Please let me introduse myself. Oh, Merry
//
// Men.
//
// {Laughs}
//
//
//
// {Accordion}
//
// Ta, dah, dah, dah, whoo.
//
// I steal from the rich and give to the needy.
//
// He takes a wee percentage,
//
// But I'm not greedy. I rescue pretty damsels
//
// Man, I'm good
//
// What a guy, Monsieur Hood
//
// Break it down
//
// I like an honest fight
//
// and a saucy little maid
//
// What he's basically saying
//
// is he likes to get - -
//
// Paid
//
// So
//
// When an orge in the bush
//
// grabs a lady by the tush
//
// That's bad
//
// That's bad
//
// When a beauty's with a beast
//
// it makes me awfully mad
//
// He's mad
//
// He's really, really mad
//
// I'll take my blade and
//
// ram it through your heart
//
// Keep your eyes on me, boys
//
// 'cause I'm about to start
//
//
//
// {Grunts, Groans}
//
// {Karate Yell}
//
// {Merry Men Gasping}
//
// {Panting}
//
// -Man, that was annoying!
//
// -Oh, you little- -
//
// {Karate Yell}
//
// {Accordion}
//
// {Shouting, groaning}
//
// {Chuckles}
//
// -Uh, shall we?
//
// -Hold the phone.
//
// {Grunts}
//
// Oh! Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on now. Where did that come from?
//
// -What?
//
// -That! Back there. That was amazing! Where did you learn that?
//
// -Well - - {Chuckles} When one lives alone, uh, one has to learn these
//
// things in case there's a - - There's an arrow in your butt!
//
// -What? Oh, would you look at that?
//
// -Oh, no. This is all my fault. I'm so sorry.
//
// -Why? What's wrong?
//
// -Shrek's hurt.
//
// -Shrek's hurt. Shrek's hurt? Oh, no, Shrek's gonna die.
//
// -Donkey, I'm okay.
//
// -You can't do this to me, Shrek. I'm too young for you to die. Keep
//
// you legs elevated. Turn your head and cough. Does anyone know the
//
// Heimlich?
//
// -Donkey! Calm down. If you want to help Shrek, run into the woods and
//
// find me a blue flower with red thorns.
//
// -Blue flower, red thorns. Okay, I'm on it. Blue flower, red thorns.
//
// Don't die Shrek. If you see a long tunnel, stay away from the light!
//
// -{Both} Donkey!
//
// -Oh, yeah. Right. Blue flower, red thorns.
//
// -What are the flowers for?
//
// -For getting rid of Donkey.
//
// -Ah.
//
// -Now you hold still, and I'll yank this thing out.
//
// -Ow! Hey! Easy with the yankin'.
//
// -I'm sorry, but it has to come out.
//
// -No, it's tender.
//
// -Now, hold on.
//
// -What you're doing is the opposite of help.
//
// -Don't move.
//
// -Look, time out.
//
// -Would you - -
//
// {Grunts}
//
// -Okay. What do you propose we do?
//
// -Blue flower, red thorns. Blue flower, red thorns. Blue flower, red
//
// thorns. This would be so much easier if I wasn't color-blind! Blue
//
// flower, red thorns.
//
// -Ow!
//
// -Hold on, Shrek! I'm comin'!
//
// -Ow! Not good.
//
// -Okay. Okay. I can nearly see the head.
//
// {Grunts}
//
// -It's just about - -
//
// -Ow! Ohh!
//
// -Ahem.
//
// -Nothing happend. We were just, uh - -
//
// -Look, if you wanted to be alone, all you had to do was ask. Okay?
//
// -Oh, come on! That's the last thing on my mind. The princess here was
//
// just- - Ugh!
//
// -Ow!
//
// -Hey, what's that?
//
// {Nervous chickle}
//
// -That's- - Is that blood?
//
// {Sighs}
//
// {Bird chirping}
//
// {Grunts}
//
//
//
// My beloved monster and me
//
// We go everywhere together
//
// Wearin' a raincoat
//
// that has four sleeves
//
// Gets us through all kinds of weather
//
//
//
// -Aah!
//
//
//
// She will always be the only thing
//
// That comes between me and the awful sting
//
// That comes from living in a world
//
// that's so damn mean
//
// {Croaks}
//
// Oh, oh-oh-oh-oh
//
// -Hey!
//
// La-la, la-la, la-la-la-la
//
// {Both laughing}
//
// La-la, la-la, la-la
//
//
//
// -There it is, Princess. Your future awaits you.
//
// -That's DuLoc?
//
// -Yeah, I know. You know, Shrek thinks Lord Farquaad's compensating for
//
// something,  which I think means he has a really - - Ow!
//
// -Um, I, uh- -  I guess we better move on.
//
// -Sure. But, Shrek? I'm - - I'm worried about Donkey.
//
// {Blubbering}
//
// -What?
//
// -I mean, look at him. He doesn't look so good.
//
// -What are you talking about? I'm fine.
//
// -That's what they always say, and then next thing you know, you're on
//
// your back. Dead.
//
// -You know, she's right. You look awful. Do you want to sit down?
//
// -Uh, you know, I'll make you some tea.
//
// -I didn't want to say nothin', but I got this twinge in my neck, and
//
// when I turn my head like this, look,
//
// {Bones crunch}
//
// -Ow! See?
//
// -Who's hungry? I'll find us some dinner.
//
// -I'll get the firewood.
//
// -Hey, where you goin'? Oh, man, I can't feel my toes! I don't have any
//
// toes! I think I need a hug.
//
//
//
// -Mmm. This is good. This is really good. What is this?
//
// -Uh, weedrat. Rotisserie style.
//
// -No kidding. Well, this is delicious.
//
// -Well, they're also great in stews. Now, I don't mean to brag, but I
//
// make a mean weedrat stew.
//
// {Chuckling}
//
// {Sighs}
//
// -I guess I'll be dining a little differently tomorrow night.
//
// {Gulps}
//
// -Maybe you can come visit me in the swamp sometime. I'll cook all kind
//
// of stuff for you. Swamp toad soup, fish eye tartare - - you name it.
//
// {Chuckles}
//
// -I'd like that.
//
// {Slurps, laughs}
//
//
//
// See the pyramids along the Nile
//
//
//
// -Um, Princess?
//
//
//
// Watch the sunrise from a tropic isle
//
//
//
// -Yes, Shrek?
//
// -I, um, I was wondering.
//
//
//
// Just remember, darling all the while
//
//
//
// -Are you- -
//
//
//
// You belong to me
//
//
//
// {Sighs}
//
// -Are you gonna eat that?
//
// {Chuckles}
//
// -Man, isn't this romantic? Just look at that sunset.
//
// -Sunset?
//
// -Oh, no! I mean, it's late. I-It's very late.
//
// -What?
//
// -Wait a minute. I see what's goin' on here. You're afraid of the dark,
//
// aren't you?
//
// -Yes! Yes, that's it. I'm terrified. You know, I'd better go inside.
//
// -Don't feel bad, Princess. I used to be afraid of the dark, too, until
//
// - - Hey, no, wait. I'm still afraid of the dark.
//
// {Shrek sighs}
//
//  -Good night.
//
//  -Good night.
//
// {Door creaks}
//
// -Ohh! Now I really see what's goin' on here.
//
// -Oh, what are you talkin' about?
//
// -I don't even wanna hear it. Look, I'm an animal, and I got instincts.
//
// And I know you two were diggin' on each other. I could feel it.
//
// -You're crazy. I'm just bringing her back to Farquaad.
//
// -Oh, come on, Shrek. Wake up and smell the pheromones. Just go on in
//
// and tell her how you feel.
//
// -I- - There's nothing to tell. Besides, even if I did tell her that,
//
// well, you know - - and I'm not sayin' I do 'cause I don't - - she's a
//
// princess, and I'm - -
//
// -An orge?
//
// -Yeah. An orge.
//
// -Hey, where you goin'?
//
// -To get... move firewood.
//
// {Sighs}
//
//
//
// -Princess? Princess Fiona? Princess, where are you?
//
// {Wings fluttering}
//
// -Princess?
//
// {Creaking}
//
// {Gasps}
//
// -It's very spooky in here. I ain't playing no games.
//
// {Screams}
//
// -Aah!
//
// -Oh, no!
//
// -No, help!
//
// -Shh!
//
// -Shrek! Shrek! Shrek!
//
// -No, it's okay. It's okay.
//
// -What did you do with the princess?
//
// -Donkey, I'm the princess.
//
// -Aah!
//
// -It's me, in this body.
//
// -Oh, my God! You ate the princess. Can you hear me?
//
// -Donkey!
//
// -Listen, keep breathing! I'll get you out of there!
//
// -No!
//
// -Shrek! Shrek! Shrek!
//
// -Shh.
//
// -Shrek!
//
// -This is me.
//
// {Muffled mumbling}
//
// -Princess? What happened to you? You're, uh, uh, uh, different.
//
// -I'm ugly, okay?
//
// -Well, yeah! Was it something you ate? 'Cause I told Shrek those rats
//
// was a bad idea. You are what you eat, I said. Now - -
//
// -No.
//
// -I - - I've been this way as long as I can remember.
//
// -What do you mean? Look, I ain't never seen you like this before.
//
// -It's only happens when sun goes down.
//
// "By night one way, by day another. This shall be the norm... until you
//
// find true love's first kiss... and then take love's true form."
//
// -Ah, that's beautiful. I didn't know you wrote poetry.
//
// -It's a spell.
//
// {Sighs}
//
// -When I was a little girl, a witch cast a spell on me. Every night I
//
// become this. This horrible, ugly beast! I was placed in a tower to
//
// await the day my true love would rescue me. That's why I have to marry
//
// Lord Farquaad tomorrow before the sun sets and he sees me like this.
//
// {Sobs}
//
// -All right, all right. Calm down. Look, it's not that bad. You're not
//
// that ugly. Well, I ain't gonna lie. You are ugly. But you only look
//
// like this at night. Shrek's ugly 24-7.
//
// -But Donkey, I'm a princess, and this is not how a princess is meant
//
// to look.
//
// -Princess, how 'bout if you don't marry Farquaad?
//
// -I have to.  Only my true love's kiss can break the spell.
//
// -But, you know, um, you're kind of an orge, and Shrek - - well, you
//
// got a lot in common.
//
// -Shrek?
//
//
//
// -Princess, I - - Uh, how's it going, first of all? Good? Um, good for
//
// me too. I'm okay. I saw this flower and thought of you because it's
//
// pretty and - - well, I don't really like it, but I thought you might
//
// like it 'cause you're pretty. But I like you anyway. I'd - - uh, uh -
//
// -
//
// {Sighs}
//
// -I'm in trouble. Okay, here we go.
//
// -I can't just marry whoever I want. Take a good look at me, Donkey. I
//
// mean, really, who can ever love a beast so hideous and ugly?
//
// "Princess" and "ugly" don't go together. That's why I can't stay here
//
// with Shrek.
//
// {Gasps}
//
// -My only chance to live happily ever after is to marry my true love.
//
// {Deep sigh}
//
// -Don't you see, Donkey? That's just how it has to be. It's the only
//
// way to break the spell.
//
// -You at least gotta tell Shrek the truth.
//
// -No! You can't breathe a word. No one must ever know.
//
// -What's the point of being able to talk if you gotta keep secrets?
//
// -Promise you won't tell. Promise!
//
// -All right, all right. I won't tell him. But you should. I just know
//
// before this is over, I'm gonna need a whole lot of serious therapy.
//
// -Look at my eye twitchin'.
//
// {Door opens}
//
// {Snoring}
//
// -I tell him, I tell him not. I tell him, I tell him not. I tell him.
//
// -Shrek! Shrek, there's something I want - -
//
// {Snoring}
//
// -Shrek. Are you all right?
//
// -Perfect! Never been better.
//
// -I - - I don't - - There's something I have to tell you.
//
// -You don't have to tell me anything, Princess. I heard enough last
//
// night.
//
// -You heard what I said?
//
// -Every word.
//
// -I thought you'd understand.
//
// -Oh, I undersatnd. Like you said, "Who could love a hideous, ugly
//
// beast?"
//
// -But I thought that wouldn't matter to you.
//
// -Yeah? Well, it does.
//
// {Gasps, sighs}
//
// -Ah, right on time.
//
// {Horse whinnies}
//
// -Princess, I've brought you a little something.
//
// {Fanfare}
//
// {Yawns}
//
// -What'd I miss? What'd I miss?
//
// {Muffled}
//
// -Who said that? Couldn't have been a donkey.
//
// -Princess Fiona.
//
// -As promised. Now hand it over.
//
// -Very well, orge. The deed to your swamp, cleared out, as agreed.
//
// -Take it and go before I change my mind.
//
// -Forgive me, Princess, for startling you, but you startled me, for I
//
// have never seen such a radiant beauty before. I'm Lord Farquaad.
//
// -Lord Farquaad? Oh, no, no.
//
// {Snaps fingers}
//
// -Forgive me, my lord, for I was just saying a short... farewell.
//
// -Oh, that is so sweet. You don't have to waste good manners on the
//
// orge. It's not like it has feelings.
//
// -No, you're right. It doesn't.
//
// -Princess Fiona, beautiful, fair, flawerss Fiona. I ask your hand in
//
// marriage.
//
// {Gasps}
//
// -Will you be the perfect bride for the perfect groom?
//
// -Lord Farquaad, I accept. Nothing would make - -
//
// -Excellent! I'll start the plans, for tomorrow we wed!
//
// -No! I mean, uh, why wait? Let's get married today before the sun
//
// sets.
//
// -Oh, anxious, are you? You're right. The sooner, the better. There's
//
// so much to do! Threre's the caterer, the cake, the band, the guest
//
// list. Captain, round up some guests!
//
// -Fare-thee-well, orge.
//
// -Shrek, what are you doing? You're letting her get away.
//
// -Yeah? So what?
//
// -Shrek, there's something about her you don't know. Look, I talked to
//
// her last night, She's - -
//
// -I know you talked to her last night. You're great pals, aren't ya?
//
// Now, if you two are such good friends, why don't you follow her home?
//
// -Shrek, I - - I wanna go with you.
//
// -I told you, didn't I? You're not coming home with me. I live alone!
//
// My swamp! Me! Nobody else! Understand? Nobody! Especially useless,
//
// pathetic, annoying, talking donkeys!
//
// -But I thought - -
//
// -Yeah. You know what? You tought wrong!
//
// -Shrek.
//
//
//
// I heard there was a secret chord
//
// That David played and it pleased the Lord
//
// But you don't really care for music, do ya
//
// It goes like this the fourth, the fifth
//
// The minor fall the major lift
//
// The baffled king composing hallelujah
//
// Hallelujah,  hallelujah
//
// Baby, I've been here before
//
// I know this room I've walked this floor
//
// I used to live alone before I knew you
//
// I've seen your flag on the marble arch
//
// But love is not a victory march
//
// It's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah
//
// Hallelujah,  hallelujah
//
// And all I ever learned from love
//
// Is how to shoot at someone
//
// Who outdrew you
//
// {Moaning}
//
// And it's not a cry you can hear at night
//
// It's not somebody who's seen the light
//
// It's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah
//
// {Moaning}
//
// Hallelujah,  hallelujah
//
//
//
// {Thumping sound}
//
// -Donkey?
//
// {Grunts}
//
// -What are you doing?
//
// -I would think, of all people, you would recognize a wall when you see
//
// one.
//
// -Well, yeah. But the wall's supposed to go around my swamp, not
//
// through it.
//
// -It is around your half. See that's your half, and this is my half.
//
// -Oh! Your half. Hmm.
//
// -Yes, my half. I helped rescue the princess. I did half the work. I
//
// get half the booty. Now hand me that big old rock, the one that looks
//
// like your head.
//
// -Back off!
//
// -No, you back off.
//
// -This is my swamp!
//
// -Our swamp.
//
// -Let go, Donkey!
//
// -You let go.
//
// -Stubborn jackass!
//
// -Smelly orge.
//
// -Fine!
//
// -Hey, hey, come back here. I'm not through with you yet.
//
// -Well, I'm through with you.
//
// -Uh-uh. You know, with you it's always, "Me, me, me!" Well, guess
//
// what! Now it's my turn! So you just shut up and pay attention! You are
//
// mean to me. You insult me and you don't appreciate anything that I do!
//
// You're always pushing me around or pushing me away.
//
// -Oh, yeah? Well, if I treated you so bad, how come you came back?
//
// -Because that's what friends do! They forgive each other!
//
// -Oh, yeah. You're right, Donkey. I forgive you... for stabbin' me in
//
// the back!
//
// -Ohh! You're so wrapped up in layers, onion boy, you're afraid of your
//
// own feelings.
//
// -Go away!
//
// -There you are , doing it again just like you did to Fiona. All she
//
// ever do was like you, maybe even love you.
//
// -Love me? She said I was ugly, a hideous creature. I heard the two of
//
// you talking.
//
// -She wasn't talkin' about you. She was talkin' about, uh, somebody
//
// else.
//
// -She wasn't talking about me? Well, then who was she talking about?
//
// -Uh-uh, no way. I ain't saying anything. You don't wanna listen to me.
//
// Right? Right?
//
// -Donkey!
//
// -No!
//
// -Okay, look. I'm sorry, all right?
//
// {Sighs}
//
// -I'm sorry. I guess I am just a big, stupid, ugly orge. Can you
//
// forgive me?
//
// -Hey, that's what friends are for, right?
//
// -Right. Friends?
//
// -Friends.
//
// -So, um, what did Fiona say about me?
//
// -What are you asking me for? Why don't you just go ask her?
//
// -The wedding! We'll never make it in time.
//
// -Ha-ha-ha! Never fear, for where, there's a will, there's a way and I
//
// have a way.
//
// {Whistles}
//
// -Donkey?
//
// -I guess it's just my animal magnetism.
//
// {Laughing}
//
// -Aw, come here, you.
//
// -All right, all right.Don't get all slobbery. No one likes a kiss ass.
//
// All right, hop on and hold on tight. I haven't had a chance to install
//
// the seat belts yet.
//
// -Whoo!
//
// {Bells tolling}
//
// {All gasping}
//
// -People of DuLoc, we gather here today to bear witnss to the union....
//
// -Um-
//
// -of our new king - -
//
// -Excuse me. Could we just skip ahead to the "I do's"?
//
// {Chuckling}
//
// -Go on.
//
// -Go ahead, HAVE SOME FUN. If we need you, I'll whistle. How about
//
// that? Shrek, wait, wait! Wait a minute! You wanna do this right, don't
//
// you?
//
// -What are you talking about?
//
// -There's a line you gotta wait for. The preacher's gonna say, "Speak
//
// now or forever hold your peace." That's when you say, "I object!"
//
// -I don't have time for this!
//
// -Hey, wait. What are you doing? Listen to me! Look, you love this
//
// woman, don't you?
//
// -Yes.
//
// -You wanna hold her?
//
// -Yes.
//
// -Please her?
//
// -Yes!
//
// -Then you got to, got to try a little tenderness. The chicks love that
//
// romantic crap!
//
// -All right! Cut it out. When does this guy say the line?
//
// -We gotta check it out.
//
//
//
// -And so, by the power vested in me,
//
// -What do you see?
//
// -The whole town's in there.
//
// -I now pronounce you husband and wife,
//
// -They're at the altar.
//
// -king and queen.
//
// -Mother Fletcher! He already said it.
//
// -Oh, for the love of Pete!
//
// {Grunts}
//
// -I object!
//
// -Shrek?
//
// {Gasps}
//
// -Oh, now what does he want?
//
// -Hi, everyone. Havin' a good time, are ya? I love DuLoc, first at all.
//
// Very clean.
//
// -What are you doing here?
//
// -Really, it's rude enough being alive when no one wants you, but
//
// showing up uninvited to a wedding - -
//
// -Fiona! I need to talk to you.
//
// -Oh, now you wanna talk? It's a little late for that, so if you'll
//
// excuse me - -
//
// -But you can't marry him.
//
// -And why not?
//
// -Because- - Because he's just marring you so he can be king.
//
// -Outrageous! Fiona, don't listen to him.
//
// -He's not your true love.
//
// -And what do you know about true love?
//
// -Well, I - - Uh - - I mean - -
//
// -Oh, this is precious. The orge has fallen in love with the princess!
//
// Oh, good Lord.
//
// {Crowd laughting}
//
// -An orge and a princess!
//
// -Shrek, is this true?
//
// -Who cares? It's preposterous! Fiona, my love, we're but a kiss away
//
// from our "happily ever after." Now kiss me! Mmmmm!
//
// -"By night one way, by day another." I wanted to show you before.
//
// {Whimpers}
//
// {Crown gasping}
//
// -Well, uh, that explains a lot.
//
// -Ugh! It's disgusting! Guards! Guards! I order you to get that out of
//
// my sight now! Get them! Get them both!
//
// -No, no!
//
// -Shrek!
//
// -This hocus-pocus alters nothing. This marriage is binding, and that
//
// makes me king! See? See?
//
// -No, let go of me! Shrek!
//
// -No!
//
// -Don't just stand there, you morons.
//
// -Get out of my way! Fiona! Arrgh!
//
// -I'll make you regret the day we met. I'll see you drawn and
//
// quartered!
//
// -You'll beg for death to save you!
//
// -No, Shrek!
//
// -And as for you, my wife,
//
// -Fiona!
//
// -I'll have you locked back in that tower for the rest of your days!
//
// -I'm king!
//
// {Whistles}
//
// -I will have order! I will have perfection! I will have - - Aaaah!
//
// -Aah!
//
// -All right. Nobody move. I got a dragon here, and I'm not afraid to
//
// use it.
//
// {Roars}
//
// -I'm a donkey on the edge!
//
// {Belches}
//
// -Celebrity marriages. They never last, do they?
//
// {Cheering}
//
// -Go ahead, Shrek.
//
// -Uh, Fiona?
//
// -Yes, Shrek?
//
// -I - - I love you.
//
// -Really?
//
// -Really, really.
//
// - I love you too.
//
// -Aawww!
//
// -"Until you find true love's first kiss and then take love's true
//
// form."
//
// -"Take love's true form. Take love's true form."
//
// -Fiona? Fiona. Are you all right?
//
// -Well, yes. But I don't understand. I'm supposed to be beautiful.
//
// -But you ARE beautiful.
//
// {Chuckles}
//
// -I was hoping this would be a happy ending.
//
//
//
// I thought love was only true in fairy tales
//
// Oy!
//
// Meant for someone else but not for me
//
// Love was out to get me
//
// That's the way it seemed
//
// Disappointment haunted all my dreams
//
// And then I saw her face
//
// Now I'm a believer and not a trace
//
// Of doubt in my mind
//
// I'm in love
//
// Ooh-aah
//
// I'm a believer I couldn't leave her
//
// If I tried
//
//
//
// -God bless us, every one.
//
//
//
// Come on, y'all!
//
// Then I saw her face
//
// Ha-ha
//
// Now I'm a believer
//
// Listen!
//
// Not a trace
//
// Of doubt in my mind
//
// I'm in love
//
// Ooh-aah
//
// I'm a believer
//
// I couldn't leave her if I tried
//
// -Ooh!
//
// -Uh!
//
// Then I saw her face
//
// Now I'm a believer
//
// Hey!
//
// Not a trace
//
// Uhh! Yeah.
//
// Of doubt in my mind
//
//
//
// -One more time!
//
// I'm in love
//
// I'm a believer
//
// Come on!
//
// I believe, I believe, I believe, I believe,
//
// I believe, I believe, I believe, I believe, I believe, hey
//
// Y'all sing it with me!
//
// I
//
// Believe
//
// I believe
//
// People in the back!
//
// I believe
//
// I'm a believer
//
// I believe
//
// I believe
//
// I believe
//
// I believe
//
// {Hysterical laughing}
//
// -Oh, that's funny. Oh. Oh.
//
// -I can't breathe. I can't breathe.
//
//
//
// I believe in self-assertion
//
// Destiny or a slight diversion
//
// Now it seems I've got my head on straight
//
// I'm a freak an apparition
//
// Seems I've made the right decision
//
// To try to turn back now it might be too late
//
//
//
// Now I want to stay home today
//
// Don't wanna go out
//
// If anyone comes to play
//
// Gonna get thrown out
//
// I wanna stay home today
//
// Don't want no company
//
// No way
//
// Yeah, yeah, yeah
//
//
//
// I wanna be a millionaire someday
//
// But know what it feels like to give it away
//
// Watch me march to the beat of my own drum
//
// And it's off to the moon and then back again
//
// Same old day Same situation
//
// My happiness rears back as if to say
//
//
//
// I wanna stay home today
//
// Don't wanna go out
//
// If anyone comes to play
//
// Gonna get thrown out
//
// I wanna stay home today
//
// Don't want no company
//
// No way
//
// Yeah, yeah, yeah
//
//
//
// I wanna stay home, stay home, stay home.........
//
//
//
//
//
// I get such a thrill when you look in my eyes
//
// My heart skips a beat
//
// Girl, I feel so alive
//
// Please tell me, baby, if all this is true
//
// 'Cause deep down inside all I wanted was you
//
// Oh-oh-oh
//
// Makes me wanna dance
//
// Oh-oh-oh
//
// It's a new romance
//
// Oh-oh-oh
//
// I look into your eyes
//
// Oh-oh-oh
//
// The best years of our lives
//
// When we first met
//
// I could hardly believe
//
// The things that would happen
//
// and we could achieve
//
// So let's be together
//
// for all of our time
//
// Oh, girl, I'm so thankful
//
// that you are still mine
//
// You always consider me
//
// like an ugly duckling
//
// And treat me like a Nostradamus
//
// was why I had to get my shine on
//
// I break a little something
//
// to keep my mind on
//
// 'Cause you had my mind gone
//
// Eh-eh, eh-eh, eh-eh
//
// Turn the lights on, Come on, baby
//
// Let's just rewind the song
//
// 'Cause all I want to do is
//
// make the rest years the best years
//
// All night long
//
//
//
// Oh-oh-oh
//
// Makes me wanna dance
//
// Makes me wanna dance
//
// Oh-oh-oh
//
// It's a new romance
//
// It's a new romance
//
// Oh-oh-oh
//
// I look into your eyes
//
// Oh, yeah, yeah
//
// I look into your eyes
//
// Oh-oh-oh
//
// The best years of our lives
//
// Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah..............
//
//
//
//
//
// Everything looks bright
//
// Standing in your light
//
// Everything feels right
//
// What's left is out of sight
//
// What's a girl to do
//
// I'm telling you
//
// You're on my mind
//
// I wanna be with you
//
// 'Cause when you're
//
// standin' next to me
//
// It's like wow
//
// And all your kisses
//
// seem to set me free
//
// It's like wow
//
// And when we touch
//
// it's such a rush
//
// I can't get enough
//
// It's like- - It's like
//
// Ooh-ooh
//
// Hey, what
//
// It's like wow
//
// Ooh-ooh, hey
//
// Hey, yeah
//
// It's like wow
//
// Everything is looking
//
// right now, right now
//
// It's like wow
//
// And I got this feeling
//
// This feeling
//
// it's just like wow
//
// It's just like wow
//
// You are all I'm thinking of.
//
// Like wow
//
// Everything feels right
//
// Everything feels right
//
// Like wow
//
// Everything looks bright
//
// All my senses are right
//
// Like wow
//
// Everything feels right
//
// Baby, baby, baby
//
// the way I'm feeling you
//
// Is like wow
//
//
//
// There is something
//
// that I see
//
// In the way
//
// you look at me
//
// There's a smile
//
// There's a truth
//
// In your eyes
//
// What an unexpected way
//
// On this unexpected day
//
// Could it be
//
// This is where I belong
//
// It is you I have loved
//
// All long
//
// There's no more mystery
//
// It is finally clear to me
//
// You're the home
//
// my heart's searched for
//
// So long
//
// It is you I have loved
//
// All long
//
// Whoa, over and over
//
// I'm filled with emotion
//
// As I look
//
// Into your perfect face
}

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