UNSELFISH
DEFINITION:thinking of others and acting on their behalf rather than being concerned with oneself

CATEGORIES:interactive, moral

SIMILAR ATTRIBUTES:selfless

POSSIBLE CAUSES:
Having an altruistic nature
A religious upbringing that emphasized serving others
The belief that what goes around comes around
Appreciating the joy that comes from helping others
The belief that every person’s value is equal to one’s own
Having a strong sense of right and wrong
Gratitude for the blessings one has received

ASSOCIATED BEHAVIORS:
Observing others to learn what they want
Letting others make decisions (where to dine, where to go on vacation, etc.)
Letting others go first (in the grocery line, at stop signs, etc.)
Buying thoughtful gifts to make someone happy
Willingness to share what one has
Instinctively knowing what someone needs
Interpreting the meaning behind people’s words
Giving sacrificially of one’s resources to help someone else
Making donations to charities
Empathy
Attentive listening
Speaking thoughtfully, so as not to hurt other people’s feelings
Humility
Thinking of others more than oneself
Looking for ways to help others
Flexibility; being willing to change one’s plans if someone needs help
Patience
Sharing emotions with others (crying, laughing, etc.)
Being more concerned about the person in need than with what others may think
Forgiving others
Helping others when there is no benefit for oneself
Giving something up to help another overcome a weakness (dieting with a friend, etc.)
Gently telling someone the truth, even if it won’t make them happy
Having a great capacity to love others
Not judging others
Making oneself emotionally available to others
Inconveniencing oneself in order to help someone
Thinking positively, particularly about people
Befriending the unpopular or rejected

ASSOCIATED THOUGHTS:
My plans aren’t as important as helping Joan today.
The TV volume doesn’t sound loud to me, but it bothers Will so I’ll turn it down.
I’m glad Sean feels comfortable calling any time. He knows I’d do anything for him.
Oh boy, Gini looks upset. I’ll put on the coffee and finish this crossword later.

ASSOCIATED EMOTIONS:anticipation, eagerness, gratitude, happiness, love, peacefulness, satisfaction, sympathy

POSITIVE ASPECTS:Unselfish characters put others before themselves. They are adept at reading people and interpreting their words to determine what they really want or need. These characters aren’t tied to material items and often see their possessions as resources to be shared with others. Those who are truly unselfish don’t seek to benefit themselves but act out of a desire to make others happy and help them achieve their goals.

NEGATIVE ASPECTS:Unselfish characters run the risk of having their own needs neglected and their resources depleted because they are so focused on giving. Their desire to help can make them an easy mark for people who would take advantage of their kindness; it is also easy for them to land in financial trouble because they are so willing to use their resources to benefit others. The truly selfless character is rare; oftentimes, seemingly unselfish people will serve others with an ulterior motive of gaining friendships, approval, or kindness in return.

EXAMPLE FROM FILM:Mulan (Disney’sMulan) is devoted to her family and worries about disappointing both them and her ancestors. Knowing that she lacks the grace and polish to win a suitable marriage match, she tries her best anyway, since it’s what her family and culture expect. When her elderly, disabled father is drafted into the Chinese army, she gives up her freedom and even her identity to save him, disguising herself as a boy to take his place. On her own for the first time and ill-equipped to fight, she risks everything so that he can live.Other Examples from Literature:Melanie Wilkes (Gone with the Wind), Beth March (Little Women)

TRAITS IN SUPPORTING CHARACTERS THAT MAY CAUSE CONFLICT:demanding, dishonest, flaky, impatient, manipulative, pushy, spoiled, stingy

CHALLENGING SCENARIOS FOR THE UNSELFISH CHARACTER:
PLOTLINE: Being persecuted or in some way punished for acting unselfishly
PLOTLINE: Being surrounded by takers and negative thinkers
PLOTLINE: Having one’s unselfish motives questioned