UNAPPRECIATED DEFINITION:Feeling undervalued, as if others don’t see or acknowledge one’s worth or contribution PHYSICAL SIGNALS AND BEHAVIORS: Sticking to the background Standing in corners or against the wall Staying behind the rest of the people in one’s group An expectant look upon being addressed that fades when no acknowledgement is forthcoming Not sharing one’s ideas or opinions Only speaking if one is directly addressed Standing with rounded shoulders Fingers nervously or absently fiddling—with one’s hair, a cuff, a zipper fob, etc. Taking quiet steps Keeping one’s arms and legs close to one’s side Making oneself small when sitting (crossing one’s legs, placing hands in one’s lap, etc.) Responding eagerly when one is given attention or shown gratitude Speaking in a soft tone Becoming uncomfortable when others pay one attention Struggling with compliments Walking with downcast eyes and a low chin Working extra hard to try and win the approval of others (people-pleasing) Pointedly reiterating how hard one has worked or what one has contributed Taking pains with one’s appearance so one can garner attention Taking on difficult jobs as a way of showing one’s capability Refusing to cooperate (living up to the expectation) Sabotaging oneself; deliberately doing a job poorly Seeking quiet vengeance on those who fail to appreciate one’s work Becoming subservient; losing one’s sense of self When slighted, talking about the offender behind his back to others Developing a martyr complex Muttering under one’s breath Pouting and sulking Snapping at someone in anger and then regretting it Lips pressing tight, the chin trembling in anger Fishing for compliments or appreciation Laying guilt trips:I’m always picking up after everyone and you sit there like it’s expected. Hitting one’s breaking point and refusing to help when it’s needed Hanging around, waiting for someone to express gratitude Being extra careful to show gratitude to others INTERNAL SENSATIONS: A sinking sensation in one’s midsection Shriveling up inside each time one is dismissed A fluttering in the stomach in the presence of those who make one feel marginalized Twitchy fingers Nausea MENTAL RESPONSES: Believing that one’s actions aren’t worth validating Feeling badly about oneself (negative self-talk) Placing oneself lower than others on a hierarchy of worth Thinking like a martyr ACUTE OR LONG-TERM RESPONSES FOR THIS EMOTION: Becoming angry and bitter Being uncooperative at work, home, or school Becoming a natural target for bullies Not volunteering oneself for jobs or projects Getting used to being unappreciated and unnoticed Keeping secrets from the offender (a boss, a spouse, etc.) and feeling justified about it Taking the jobs no one else wants to do, since it will allow one to maintain anonymity Underachieving Subjugating oneself to the will of others Becoming a wallflower Desperately trying to be noticed by others (through one’s actions, clothing choices, etc.) Not expressing appreciation to others SIGNS THAT THIS EMOTION IS BEING SUPPRESSED: Shrugging off the lack of gratitude as if one doesn’t care Not doing anything for anyone so one doesn’t have to face the lack of appreciation Clinging to the people who are appreciative Suppressed signs of bitterness or hurt around those who don’t show appreciation (pressing the lips together, exhaling noisily through the nose, rolling the eyes, etc.) MAY ESCALATE TO:Betrayed,Anger,Bitterness,Defiant,Insecurity,Worthlessness MAY DE-ESCALATE TO:Uncertainty,Gratitude,Relief ASSOCIATED POWER VERBS: Avenge, avert, begrudge, fiddle fidget, gossip, grumble, hide lash out, mope, mumble, mutter pout, resent, retreat, scowl stutter, sulk WRITER’S TIP:With emotions, a natural reflex is to try and maintain control. See how far you can nudge a character to the edge of restraint. When it’s important, shove them beyond it.