SHAME DEFINITION:The feeling that arises from a dishonorable or improper act; disgrace NOTES:Not all shame is deserved; many victims of violence and abuse feel shame when they are, in fact, blameless. Even when a feeling of shame is unfounded, it will present the same way. PHYSICAL SIGNALS AND BEHAVIORS: Cheeks that burn Crumpling onto a chair or sofa Pulling one’s arms and legs in toward the core MutteringWhat have I done?orHow could I let this happen? Using the hair to hide the face Pulling a ball cap low Pressing one’s hands against the cheeks Dropping the chin to the chest Eyes that are wet with tears An inability to meet another’s gaze Crumpling under scrutiny Shaking, trembling, and shivering Hunched shoulders A perpetual slouch A closed-off stance (crossing the arms, making oneself small, averting the head, etc.) Pressing a palm over the lips to hold back a cry Shaking the head Letting out an uncontrolled moan Punching one’s fists against one’s thighs to release frustration Lashing out at others to transfer anger or blame Arms hanging at the sides Hitching breaths A trembling chin Shielding the body Angling away from those bearing witness to the shame Pulling and tugging at one’s clothes to make one less visible Vandalism of one’s own things (self-punishment) Loss of interest in one’s personal appearance Seeking out second chances (fawning, begging, following others, etc.) to regain self-worth Lying or doing whatever it takes to keep a shameful secret INTERNAL SENSATIONS: Hypersensitivity to noise, crowds, and activity Flu-like symptoms (nausea, sweats, tingling in the chest, etc.) Weak knees Thickness in the throat Heat and tingling in the face Body tremors MENTAL RESPONSES: Flight reactions Pulling away from friends and loved ones Avoiding familiar places and activities Self-loathing, berating oneself, anger, and disgust Risk-taking behaviors; hoping something will happen to balance the scale An utter lack of self-confidence A desire to fade into the background and avoid notice Believing that people are watching and judging (if the shameful event is a close-kept secret) ACUTE OR LONG-TERM RESPONSES FOR THIS EMOTION: Self-violence (scratching, cutting, pulling hair, etc.) Depression Substance abuse Eating disorders Increased sexual activity Panic attacks Anxiety disorders Perfectionistic tendencies to balance the source of shame Seeking power as a means of self-validation Denial Diverting blame to others Suicide Abusive relationships Attempting to change one’s appearance The belief that one deserves pain Rejecting help out of a desire to do penance SIGNS THAT THIS EMOTION IS BEING SUPPRESSED: Engaging with others, yet showing discomfort (avoiding eye contact, fidgeting, etc.) Holding oneself rigidly tall and upright Taking deep, steadying breaths An overly bright smile Being unreasonably aggressive or confrontational Overcompensating MAY ESCALATE TO:Depressed,Humiliation,Remorse,Self-Loathing MAY DE-ESCALATE TO:Appalled,Defensiveness,Guilt ASSOCIATED POWER VERBS: Avert, clutch, cower, cringe disguise, duck, flinch, hide mask, quiver, retreat, self-harm shake, shrink, sob, tremble withdraw WRITER’S TIP:There are dozens of physical, internal, and mental responses to use when conveying a given emotion. Filter possible cues through what you know about your character. “Would my character react this way?” is a great question to ask to stay on the right track.