RELUCTANCE DEFINITION:Unwillingness; aversion PHYSICAL SIGNALS AND BEHAVIORS: Stalling gestures, such as taking time to think or turning away A hard, obvious swallow Wetting the lips Tense arms, shoulders, or face Hesitant steps The head pulling back as the shoulders push forward Responding slowly Pressing the lips together Glancing around uneasily Hands that shake; nervous twitching The hands almost curling into fists and then straightening A grimace or pained look Eyebrows squeezing together Stuttering and stammering Making excuses Lying Tentatively reaching out or touching someone Holding a hand up, warding someone or something off Suggesting someone else to help or act instead Shaking the head A hand fluttering to the lips or neck Nervous habits (running hands through the hair, pacing, repetitive gestures, etc.) A too-quick smile Glancing at one’s watch Jumpiness Taking a steeling breath before responding or acting Moving toward an exit Putting distance between oneself and the requester Biting the lip or nails Pinching the bridge of the nose and tightly squeezing the eyes Changing the topic or diverting attention Closed body language (hands up, crossed arms, etc.) Leaning or turning away from the person making the request Asking for time to make the decision Expressing skepticism Asking questions for clarification Not meeting the requester’s eyes Not engaging in further conversation Making suggestions for a better option:Tim’s so good with clients, though. Why not ask him? Answering with aMayberesponse Muttering negatives:No,orI don’t want to. Downplaying abilities:I am so disorganized. Trust me, you want someone else handling this. INTERNAL SENSATIONS: A tightening chest Slight tenseness in the muscles A heaviness in the stomach MENTAL RESPONSES: A desire to get away from the person making the request Indecision A mind that is clearly distracted Guilt Searching for ways to get out of whatever is requested An inability to focus on anything but the decision to be made A need to justify one’s reluctance ACUTE OR LONG-TERM RESPONSES FOR THIS EMOTION: Resentment A tight or roiling stomach Avoidance of the source A strained relationship SIGNS THAT THIS EMOTION IS BEING SUPPRESSED: Agreeing, then not following through Hints about being busy or overly stressed A rising antipathy toward the person responsible for the situation Passive-aggressive comments Deflecting (e.g., making jokes) Acting as if the request is absurd Revealing one’s true feelings to a third party, hoping they’ll pass the information along MAY ESCALATE TO:Skepticism,Defensiveness,Anger,Fear,Disgust,Resentment,Dread MAY DE-ESCALATE TO:Resignation,Satisfaction,Relief ASSOCIATED POWER VERBS: Avoid, balk, dawdle, defer divert, feign, gulp, hedge procrastinate, protest, put off, refuse resist, second-guess, shuffle, squirm stall, stammer WRITER’S TIP:Avoid brand-dropping to characterize. Brand names come and go and can date your writing. Instead, use other clues to convey your character’s personality, strengths or shortcomings.