PRIVATE DEFINITION:having strong personal boundaries; preferring to keep one’s affairs to oneself CATEGORIES:interactive POSSIBLE CAUSES: Growing up with little privacy (having many siblings, sharing rooms with others, etc.) Fear of rejection and being hurt Being the victim of trauma or abuse in the past Growing up isolated in some way (living in a monastery, etc.) Having one’s secrets exposed, resulting in embarrassment or humiliation Trusting the wrong person and being hurt by them Being exposed to the dark side of people and how information is misused Living with people who tended to over share A fear of being judged ASSOCIATED BEHAVIORS: Not offering up personal information Closing curtains and locking doors in an effort to be truly alone Deflecting questions; steering conversations to less personal topics Keeping one’s fears and desires to oneself Avoiding gatherings and community events Being a quiet neighbor Reluctance letting others into one’s home Deleting one’s browser history Following the rules to keep from calling attention to oneself or standing out as odd Keeping things light and fun in social settings Isolation Pretending that one’s interests are boring so others won’t ask questions Being a strong listener Being aware of one’s surroundings and other people Growing embarrassed quickly Feeling uncomfortable when others ask too many questions or are intrusive Avoiding situations where one might be vulnerable Difficulty asking others for help Independence Enjoying solitude Growing anxious at the thought of letting others get close Keeping one’s vacation plans to oneself Making excuses to avoid social functions Introversion Using careful wording; thinking before speaking Feeling self-conscious Avoiding gossips and rumormongers Respecting the privacy of others Not asking many questions for fear of being rude or invasive Feeling interrogated when others ask personal questions Staying in a hotel rather than in another person’s home ASSOCIATED THOUGHTS: Why does Jeff have to ask so many questions? Can’t he take the hint? I’ll tell Janet I’ll meet her at the restaurant, otherwise she’ll offer to pick me up at home. If one more person asks me how I’m doing, I’m going to scream. Nancy just scrolled through Misha’s cell phone pictures without asking. So rude! ASSOCIATED EMOTIONS:agitation, anxiety, defensiveness, determination, dread, frustration, insecurity, nervousness, paranoia, regret, unease POSITIVE ASPECTS:Private characters have a lot of respect for others and their personal boundaries. They avoid asking too many questions and have a strong intuitive sense for when another person is uncomfortable. They are able to work independently and stay on task and can easily separate work from personal life. NEGATIVE ASPECTS:Private characters have a difficult time sharing personal information and often resent being asked to do so. It can be difficult for them to open up enough to establish a meaningful connection. Often misperceived as shy, these characters are very choosy about who they welcome into their lives; by the time they get around to trusting someone, it’s possible that the desired friend may have moved on to someone who will more easily let them in. EXAMPLE FROM FILM:In the movieHighlander, Russell Nash has good reason to keep to himself. Immortal, he has been furtively roaming the world for four hundred and fifty years, moving from place to place and adopting new identities along the way. Unable to reveal his true self and unwilling to watch another mortal wife grow old and die, he distances himself from others and is careful to reveal only what is necessary at the moment.Other Examples from Literature:Boo Radley (To Kill a Mockingbird), Laura Burney (Sleeping with the Enemy) TRAITS IN SUPPORTING CHARACTERS THAT MAY CAUSE CONFLICT:demanding, extroverted, friendly, generous, gossipy, helpful, nosy, paranoid CHALLENGING SCENARIOS FOR THE PRIVATE CHARACTER: PLOTLINE: Having to ask for help, especially from strangers PLOTLINE: Developing feelings for someone who requires pursuit in order to gain their attention PLOTLINE: Being revealed as vulnerable to co-workers (having an angry ex-boyfriend make a scene, etc.) PLOTLINE: Being forced into a situation where one must share with others (therapy, rehab, etc.)