PITY DEFINITION:Feeling discomfort at the distress of others while being grateful one doesn’t have to experience it oneself PHYSICAL SIGNALS AND BEHAVIORS: Giving a clenched half-smile Sighing A sagging body posture Head tilted slightly to the side Looking at the person sideways rather than straight on Sharing a pained glance (the eyebrows drawing in, an empathetic frown, etc.) with someone else Facial cues that show disdain (a curling lip, covering the nose against an unpleasant odor, the nose wrinkling, etc.) Laying a hand over one’s heart before quickly lowering it Looking at the person as they talk but being unable to meet their eyes Carefully weighing one’s words before speaking Leaning back and shaking the head at the person’s misfortune Wincing Making atsksound The face wrinkling up One’s gaze dropping to the ground Narrowing one’s eyes as one tries to listen without judgment Wringing one’s hands Holding a fist to one’s mouth Shuffling backward Turning away, unable to look any more Overall awkwardness, such as not knowing what to do with one’s hands (shoving them in pockets, hiding them in one’s armpits, etc.) Looking around, as if for someone to do something Reaching out to the person but not touching them Stepping closer while providing the person adequate personal space Offering clichéd platitudes:You’ll get through this, or It’s always darkest before the storm. Clearing the throat Offering to say a prayer for the person Fidgeting (with a button, cell phone, jewelry, etc.) Asking questions about what happened instead of simply listening and offering comfort Making comments hinting that the person is somehow to blame for their misfortune Speaking in a falsely sympathetic tone Talking it over with others later, in private Offering false hope:Maybe this will lead to something better,orI’m sure he’ll forgive you in time. Offering superficial comforting gestures (such as clapping the person on the back) but not doing anything that would really help Clutching whatever one is holding, such as a set of keys or a binder Blocking a child’s view of the sight Making excuses to others as to why one didn’t get involved:If I’d given him money, he would have just spent it all on booze. INTERNAL SENSATIONS: An uncomfortable sensation in the belly A flutter of guilt, as if one should do something to help A squeezing in the chest An uncomfortable lump in the throat MENTAL RESPONSES: Wanting to help but not knowing what to say or do Fearing that one might suffer the same hardship Subconsciously making plans to keep the hardship from befalling oneself Seeking a way to exit graciously Thoughts turning to loved ones (if the misfortune involves the person’s family) Guilt, because the situation requires more aid than one is willing to offer Being grateful one has never had to suffer in the same way ACUTE OR LONG-TERM RESPONSES FOR THIS EMOTION: Distancing oneself from the party because the situation is just too awkward Blaming the person for their misfortune so one doesn’t have to feel sorry for them One’s pity turning to contempt or scorn Helping in ways that doesn’t require emotional involvement, such as giving financial gifts Becoming two-faced (e.g., offering help to the aggrieved party while gossiping about the situation with others) Realizing one can help in a tangible way and choosing to step up and do it SIGNS THAT THIS EMOTION IS BEING SUPPRESSED: No one likes to be pitied, since there’s often an element of condescension or patronization involved. Because of this, people feeling pity will try to make it look like true EMPATHY or CONCERN. For ideas on what suppressed pity might look like, please see those entries. MAY ESCALATE TO:Contempt,Smugness,Guilt,Empathy,Determination MAY DE-ESCALATE TO:Indifference,Concern ASSOCIATED POWER VERBS: Ache, act, agonize, comfort commiserate, consider, console, cry deplore, empathize, enable, encourage feel, give, gossip, grieve help, hurt, judge, lament mourn, nod, offer, pat pray, soothe, suffer, sympathize warn, weep WRITER’S TIP:No matter how resilient your character is, some things will get under their skin. Look for emotions that force them to be vulnerable so they’ll seem more realistic to readers.