NURTURING DEFINITION:having the desire and ability to nourish and further the development of others CATEGORIES:identity, interactive SIMILAR ATTRIBUTES:caring, maternal POSSIBLE CAUSES: Being responsible in the past as a nurturer of others (children, the infirm, etc.) Being the recipient of great love and kindness Wanting to be needed Having an abundance of love Gratitude; caring for someone out of appreciation for the kindness they have shown Having an innate tendency to nurture others ASSOCIATED BEHAVIORS: Using kind, encouraging words Speaking in a calm tone Patience Taking advantage of gentle teaching opportunities Anticipating a need and meeting it Actively listening, to show that one cares Providing for someone’s basic needs Being protective Jumping to someone’s defense Encouraging someone to pursue a talent or area of giftedness Showing support Keeping mementos in the hopes of passing them down to loved ones some day Treating strangers like family; being a good host Worrying over setbacks or poor choices that may happen to those in one’s care Being present for important events Showing affection Having the best interests of others at heart Spotting an emotional need and seeking to fill it Doing what’s best for someone, even if it’s not what the other person wants Providing wisdom when decisions must be made Self-sacrifice; going without so someone else can have what is lacking Constantly assessing what a person needs Steering someone away from dangerous situations Expressing joy over the little things one’s charge might do Seeing the best in people and believing that anyone can change when shown love Feeling pride and satisfaction when the one being nurtured shows growth Doing whatever it takes to make sure someone feels safe and loved Loyalty Difficulty being objective when it comes to one’s charges Showing mercy; giving second chances Forgiving easily Being a natural caregiver, even with other people’s charges Showing confidence in others to encourage them to be more confident in themselves ASSOCIATED THOUGHTS: She’s a good girl. She just needs a little guidance. I’ve been there; maybe she can benefit from my experience. It’s supposed to get cold later. I’ll make sure Richard takes his coat. I’ve been shown so much love; how can I not pass that on? ASSOCIATED EMOTIONS:adoration, amusement, happiness, hopefulness, love, nostalgia, satisfaction, worry POSITIVE ASPECTS:Nurturing characters are generally loving, kind, and compassionate. They have a long-term focus, wanting their charges to not just survive but to thrive and succeed in life. When they see someone in need or in pain, they can’t help but reach out, even if it means sacrificing their own time, money, and resources. While others may be quick to judge or stereotype, nurturers are open-minded, seeing only the need and their own ability to meet it. NEGATIVE ASPECTS:Sometimes, the nurturing instinct can be so strong that characters with this trait are unable or unwilling to see the truth about their charges. Their unselfishness can make them the target of manipulators who would take advantage of their kindness. Nurturers are often so focused on caring for others that they don’t take care of themselves. Their desire to serve can also make it difficult for them to seek help for themselves when it’s needed. EXAMPLE FROM LITERATURE:Aibilene Clark (The Help) has spent her career raising other women’s children. She feeds them, potty trains them, puts them to bed, and cares for them when they’re sick. Her capacity for love and empathy is deep, as is shown with her final charge, Mae Mobley. Aibilene does her best to make up for the indifference and neglect of Mae’s mother by creating a positive mantra for the child to live by, repeating it until the love-starved little girl can say it for herself.Other Examples from Film:Carol Connelly (As Good as it Gets), Molly Weasley (Harry Potterseries) TRAITS IN SUPPORTING CHARACTERS THAT MAY CAUSE CONFLICT:grumpy, independent, mischievous, needy, selfish, ungrateful CHALLENGING SCENARIOS FOR THE NURTURING CHARACTER: PLOTLINE: Encountering someone who needs love but is unable to accept or return it PLOTLINE: Experiencing criticism and judgment for taking someone in PLOTLINE: Finding someone in need of help whose needs are beyond one’s ability to meet PLOTLINE: Recognizing a need for nurturing in someone who is likely damaged beyond repair PLOTLINE: Wanting to care for someone whom the authorities say should not be nurtured