NEGLECTED DEFINITION:Feeling ignored, overlooked, or unloved NOTES:This entry will focus on the effects of emotional neglect, such as being ignored, marginalized, devalued, and sidelined by the important people in one’s life. PHYSICAL SIGNALS AND BEHAVIORS: An expression that indicates hurt or confusion A furrowed brow Frowning Wincing Flinching away from the offending party An inward gaze A downcast countenance Rounded shoulders Making oneself small (curling up in a chair, standing with the legs tightly together and one’s hands clasped in front of the body, etc.) Leaning away from the person; keeping one’s distance Not speaking up for oneself Withdrawing from others Crying Standing behind others; keeping to the background Sniffling Turning away to hide one’s hurt Hugging oneself Seeking comfort (with another person, with food, by retreating to a safe place, etc.) Voicing one’s dissatisfaction to the one withholding affection or attention The voice rising or breaking Nagging, cajoling, or wheedling to get the other person to do what one wants Placating the other person to win them over Casting darting glances at the person Jumping at the first sign of attention Gazing with longing at people who are receiving what one is missing Looking askance at the person withholding affection; wanting attention but fearing further rejection Treading carefully with the other person; not wanting to rock the boat Speaking loudly or more excitedly (even subconsciously) as a way to gain attention Doing anything to gain attention or favor from the person Making excuses for the other party Being highly attentive to others to avoid causing anyone else the same pain INTERNAL SENSATIONS: A dropping sensation in the midsection A strong yearning for what is being withheld The heart fluttering hollowly A void opening up internally A surge of adrenaline when the person shows attention MENTAL RESPONSES: Confusion Believing that one is responsible for the neglect Mentally searching for what one did wrong to cause the problem Practicing what one will say or do next time an opportunity arises Wanting to avoid the person but being pushed by one’s unmet need to fill the void ACUTE OR LONG-TERM RESPONSES FOR THIS EMOTION: Fawning over the neglectful party Becoming clingy Acting out in unusual or negative ways to get what one wants (pursuing someone else to get the person’s attention, engaging in harmful behaviors, etc.) Entering into toxic or dangerous relationships as a way of meeting one’s need Rejecting others before they can do the rejecting Consistently initiating drama Being fiercely independent and determined to care for oneself One’s affection turning to scorn, bitterness, or anger Hardening oneself against the other person SIGNS THAT THIS EMOTION IS BEING SUPPRESSED: Holding one’s chin high Maintaining a steady voice Acting as if the neglect is no big deal Withdrawing from the person but still pursuing them in subtle ways (asking friends about the person, stalking them on social media, etc.) MAY ESCALATE TO:Unappreciated,Intimidated,Longing,Anger,Confusion,Discouraged,Anxiety,Defiant,Depressed,Hurt,Resentment,Scorn MAY DE-ESCALATE TO:Indifference ASSOCIATED POWER VERBS: Blanch, cling, contract, cringe crumple, cry, doubt, flinch hesitate, manipulate, nag, quail rebel, recoil, shrink, shrivel tremble, wince, wither, wonder WRITER’S TIP:Do you know your character’s emotional wound? Whatever difficult trauma is in their past, the emotion surrounding it will act as a trigger, awakening their pain and causing them to overreact.