GRIEF DEFINITION:A deep and painful sorrow over a personal loss, which is often a loved one PHYSICAL SIGNALS AND BEHAVIORS: Shaky hands Movements that lack strength A vacant look and slack facial expression A sudden loss of breath, or struggling to find one’s breath Rubbing at one’s chest Lashing out at others A loss of appetite Refusing to eat Lips that tremble and press together Holding or wearing a cherished item or gift belonging to the one who died Forgetting to change clothing or attend to one’s hygiene Wanting to be left alone Barely speaking, or speaking in a voice that cracks or lacks strength Breaking things to vent one’s emotions Losing track of conversations A collapsed body posture (appearing small or frail) Feeling heavy (bowed shoulders, arms that drag, having no desire to move, etc.) Uncontrollable crying or screaming Praying for strength (if one is religious) Writing in a journal to the person who passed on Attending counseling Losing track of time Pacing from room to room, touching objects and mementos Refusing to sleep, or sleeping to escape Self-medicating Clinging to loved ones out of a need to have them close Rubbing at one’s wrists, shoulders, knees, etc. to try and relieve body pain Repeatedly telling others about the circumstances surrounding one’s loss A sensitivity to noise (flinching, rubbing at one’s ears, etc.) Avoiding people and social functions Eyes that appear red and raw INTERNAL SENSATIONS: An overall feeling of weakness or numbness Low energy Irregular heartbeats and dizziness A tightness in the chest that will not loosen The sensation of one’s heart being heavy Stabbing stomach pain, nausea, and digestive sensitivity Body pains and headaches Frequent swallowing due to a feeling of constriction in the throat Eyes that feel dry, achy, or swollen from extended crying Body chills MENTAL RESPONSES: Mental fog, forgetfulness, and losing track of time Viewing the day-to-day concerns of others as superficial or meaningless Fixating on one’s regrets surrounding the source of loss Frequently dreaming of one’s loss Irrational thoughts and anxiety Guilt for being alive Sad thoughts that come and go Painful longings to touch and hold who or what one has lost Anger at others who have moved on quickly A renewed interest in spirituality Anger at God; doubting one’s faith Profound loneliness A lack of motivation Apathy for others and their needs (impatience with small talk, etc.) Feeling that one is going crazy and fearing this state of grief will last forever ACUTE OR LONG-TERM RESPONSES FOR THIS EMOTION: Depression and possible suicide attempts Premature aging A significant weight loss or gain Paranoia and obsession regarding the well-being of loved ones A loss of control when self-medicating (drinking too much, overdosing, etc.) SIGNS THAT THIS EMOTION IS BEING SUPPRESSED: Not wanting to talk about the person who is gone Getting rid of the person’s personal items (boxing them up, donating them, etc.) Adhering to a strict and often busy routine Throwing oneself into work or a project to avoid dealing with one’s pain Pulling away from others who are reminders of one’s loss Moving to a new home or city Extreme behavior shifts (e.g., engaging in promiscuity to avoid getting attached again) MAY ESCALATE TO:Anger,Bitterness,Guilt,Despair,Depressed,Vengeful MAY DE-ESCALATE TO:Devastation,Overwhelmed,Loneliness,Acceptance ASSOCIATED POWER VERBS: Buckle, cave, clutch, collapse cry, despair, mourn, pain pucker, shake, shudder, shuffle slump, sob, tremble, weave weep, whisper, wilt WRITER’S TIP:When showing emotion, spend more airtime on describing whatever the POV character is most focused on. What has their attention will have the reader’s attention, too.