EMPATHY DEFINITION:To intimately identify with (and possibly experience) another’s feelings through the ability to place oneself in their emotional shoes NOTES:Sympathy and empathy are close in nature but aren’t the same. Empathy occurs when a character feels connected to someone through a meaningful shared emotional experience. Sympathy is more surface-level, prompting one to provide comfort and support without necessarily becoming personally attached. For ideas on the latter, please view the SYMPATHY entry. PHYSICAL SIGNALS AND BEHAVIORS: A softening of the features Eyebrows drawing together A pained look (if one is sharing another’s negative feelings) Steady eye contact that is comforting, not invasive Offering a small smile that communicates acceptance Reaching out to touch (to show connectedness) Choosing words with care (to show understanding, be inclusive, or raise someone up) Leaning in to listen without interrupting (no judgment) Moving closer; closing the distance One’s body facing the other person straight on Cupping a shoulder or placing a hand on the other’s back to provide comfort while wishing someone would offer this comfort in return Rubbing at one’s own chest and the pain or tightness one feels there Adopting a soft tone, rich with understanding and acceptance Asking questions to allow the other to experience the relief of answering as it will help them better understand their own narrative Crying with the other person Physical contact (knees or legs touching, pulling the other in, etc.) Mirroring the posture and body language of whomever one is connecting with Going to someone and offering to talk or just sit with them Cancelling plans or appointments to be fully present in the moment Using empathetic foresight to lessen another’s burdens (safeguarding their privacy, offering care, handling tasks for them, etc.) Acknowledging a shared burden:This is so hard, isn’t it? Verbalizing and sharing happy feelings:Today couldn’t be better, could it? Increased touchy-feely behaviors (holding hands for an extended time, drawing the other in so shoulders touch, etc.) when the experience is joyful Consoling the person verbally:I know it’s difficult,orWe’ll get through this together. Offering truth (e.g., sharing a personal experience to provide the other person comfort) Physical affection (squeezing another’s hand, hugging, holding them close, a kiss on the cheek if it is appropriate, etc.) INTERNAL SENSATIONS: A sharp pain in the chest Tightness in the throat A feeling of overall heaviness Difficulty swallowing due to having a lump in the throat and holding back tears Shakiness or weakness (if one’s emotions are overwhelming) The sensation of phantom pain A light, floaty feeling in the chest (if the situation is pleasing) MENTAL RESPONSES: A need to help or fix (if the situation is negative) or a desire to enjoy the moment (if the circumstances are positive) Feeling frustration when others don’t understand the situation as one does The ability to forgive quickly by attributing any wrongdoings to stress and circumstances Disconnecting from personal concerns to take on the emotions and concerns of another A desire to escape before one’s painful emotions become visible Feeling discomfort at witnessing another’s physical pain Being mindful and tactful when others are in emotional stress Wanting to remove another’s suffering while being aware of one’s inability to do so Letting go of prejudice or pre-conceived notions and focusing on connection ACUTE OR LONG-TERM RESPONSES FOR THIS EMOTION: Being despondent because the pain is too much Feeling emotionally drained or depressed A need to be alone to sort out one’s feelings after the crisis has passed Showing kindness and compassion whatever the situation Pessimism or disillusionment brought on by an inability to see a reason for suffering Feeling light, a renewed sense of optimism when the moment of empathy is positive SIGNS THAT THIS EMOTION IS BEING SUPPRESSED: A voice that sounds “off” (choked with emotion, gravelly, etc.) Words that don’t match behavior (saying something gruff while showing compassion) Backing down from a tough stance:You can stay the night. Or…a few nightsif you need to. MAY ESCALATE TO:Admiration,Humbled,Valued,Love MAY DE-ESCALATE TO:Connectedness,Hopefulness,Peacefulness ASSOCIATED POWER VERBS: Accept, awaken, brush, care clasp, connect, develop, echo encourage, endure, entrust, entwine evoke, express, feel, hold hug, link, listen, love need, nurture, relive, respond seek, sense, squeeze, stir touch, undergo, weave together WRITER’S TIP:In some situations, your character will be emotionally steady while in others, they will be a hot mess. For the latter, ask yourself why this is. If it is the result of an unresolved emotional wound, how can you can use this to further the inner conflict of the story?