COURTEOUS DEFINITION:mannerly; considerate of others CATEGORIES:interactive, moral SIMILAR ATTRIBUTES:chivalrous, conscientious, considerate, gallant, genteel, polite, respectful, well-mannered POSSIBLE CAUSES: Being brought up in an environment where politeness was seen as a virtue Being inherently thoughtful and kind Being taught to place others before oneself Having empathy for others The desire to be respected in turn; adhering to “The Golden Rule” Fear (of disapproval, broken relationships, conflict, violence, etc.) ASSOCIATED BEHAVIORS: Being neat and orderly Having a strong work ethic Being thoughtful and kind Exhibiting good manners Respecting the personal space of others Being intuitive of the needs of others Showing interest in others to make them feel important Congratulating others for their accomplishments Treating people fairly Giving compliments:That color really suits you. Factoring in the moods of others before bringing something up Having a gentle manner Offering to pitch in and help Using a considerate tone Giving people credit for their work and their ideas Giving people one’s undivided attention (not taking phone calls or texting, etc.) Showing appreciation for another’s time or effort Having good table manners Letting others go first (at the check-out counter, in traffic, when entering a room, etc.) Serving others Friendliness Using a warm, inviting voice Not abusing the power one may have over others Deferring to others Trying to foresee what others may need and providing it Avoiding topics that make others uncomfortable Not interrupting or laughing too loudly Smiling and nodding encouragement as others are speaking Respecting the privacy of others Making introductions when someone new enters the conversation Socializing with more than just one person at an event Making others feel included and valued Joking and lightly teasing only if it will put someone at ease or is appropriate Apologizing if one has hurt someone’s feelings Making suggestions without being pushy Treating everyone with respect Holding one’s tongue instead of lashing out ASSOCIATED THOUGHTS: Nicole looks flushed. Maybe I should offer to take her coat. I see a few empty glasses. I better grab another bottle of wine. I’ll run over and say hi to Emma so she’s not standing there all alone. Mark’s divorce is still fresh; I’ll hang out with him and make sure he has fun tonight. ASSOCIATED EMOTIONS:gratitude, happiness, hopefulness POSITIVE ASPECTS:Courteous characters put the people around them at ease through their polite attentiveness. They can be relied on to behave appropriately in social situations and are often respected by others. In fictional scenarios when tensions run high, someone who is attentive and caring can defuse the situation and encourage others to open up about their fears and worries. When other characters show themselves to be self-absorbed, power hungry, or goal-driven, this trait can be a refreshing counterweight and supply contrast. NEGATIVE ASPECTS:Because courteous characters often think of others first, sometimes their own needs are not met. This can lead to a lack of fulfillment and personal happiness. These characters can also be targeted by others who view them as weak and decide to take advantage of them. EXAMPLE FROM LITERATURE:Atticus Finch (To Kill a Mockingbird) is a true southern gentleman. Although his principles set him at odds with many of his oldest friends and family, he remains courteous. He has more right than most to be angry and reactive, but whether he’s speaking to Mrs. Dubose, who has heinously insulted him, or standing between a lynch mob and an innocent man, Atticus maintains his composure and treats others with respect.Other Examples from Film:Hoke Colburn (Driving Miss Daisy), Chon Wang (Shanghai Noon) TRAITS IN SUPPORTING CHARACTERS THAT MAY CAUSE CONFLICT:inflexible, know-it-all, proper, pushy, selfish CHALLENGING SCENARIOS FOR THE COURTEOUS CHARACTER: PLOTLINE: Dealing with disrespectful, dishonest, or drunk people PLOTLINE: Being paired with a mistrustful person who was taken advantage of in the past PLOTLINE: Being thrust into a survivalist situation where every person must fend for himself PLOTLINE: Suffering a humiliation that gravely wounds one’s dignity