ATTRACTION DEFINITION: Feeling a compelling sense of curiosity or pleasure in regards to a specific person NOTE: a milder source of interest may come from an object of desire (such as seeing a coveted vintage car), but true attraction is usually between people. Thus, most suggestions here focus on human interactions. PHYSICAL SIGNALS: Eyes that follow the source of attraction Staring The body going still Dilated pupils Touching the mouth, drawing attention to the lips Mirroring the other person’s movements, gestures, and posture Stealing furtive glances Asking questions about the other person Flirting Eyes that smolder with intensity Angling the body towards the other person Giving a little wave Finding opportunities for “accidental” touches Touching the hair, smoothing one’s clothes, straightening a collar Playing hard-to-get (feigning disinterest) Paying compliments Thrusting out one’s chest Eyes widening slightly Exposing one’s neck to the source Licking one’s lips Playfully asking double entendre questions Asking questions that grow more personal in nature Affectionate touches (bumping knees, squeezing a hand) Sitting side-by-side so the legs or shoulders touch Offering one’s undivided attention Asking questions out of true fascination and a desire to know more An open gaze; directly meeting the other person’s eyes Talking to friends about the other person Losing interest in everything else when the other person enters the room Giving a low whistle or mumbling an exclamation Becoming tongue-tied; fumbling for words Grasping at any attempt to make conversation INTERNAL SENSATIONS: A fluttering in the belly Knees that wobble, tremble, or feel weak The mouth flooding with moisture An overall tingling Feeling energized Breath stopping or catching in one’s throat An almost electrical feeling upon meeting the other person’s eyes Feeling an emotional or spiritual connection with the other person An increase in body temperature MENTAL RESPONSES: A willingness to leave one’s comfort zone to obtain the object of one’s attraction Boldness or forwardness A desire to touch Viewing everything the source does as highly interesting Only seeing the positive in the other person Striving to be witty or charming Dreaming of the other person at night Daydreaming or fantasizing about them Seeking out opportunities to meet or be with the other person Difficulty forming thoughts into speech Excitement Optimism Sexual thoughts CUES OF SUPPRESSED ATTRACTION: Finding ways to be near the person but not engaging with them Denial of any feelings Ramping up an existing relationship to support the idea that one is not interested Asking subtle questions about the other person Flushed cheeks Avoiding the other person Dismissive gestures and comments Avoiding eye contact Befriending the other person’s friends in order to obtain access Subtly watching the other person Fiddling with things when the other person is around; jumpiness The voice cracking or rising in pitch Sweating WRITER’S TIP:With a strong reactive state like attraction, be aware that one’s expressions will vary according to sex, age, and experience.