# Effective 1:1s — Quick Reference

## Purpose

**Their meeting, not yours.** Build trust, support growth, surface blockers, give feedback.

## Cadence

| Situation | Cadence |
|-----------|---------|
| New team member | Weekly |
| Established report | Biweekly |
| Senior / autonomous | Biweekly or monthly |

**Rule:** Never cancel for "no urgent topics." Reschedule, don't drop.

## Agenda Order

1. **Report's topics first** — Their concerns set the tone
2. **Manager's topics** — Feedback, updates, decisions
3. **Career / growth** — Dedicated time, don't rush
4. **Action items** — Who does what; next 1:1 date

## Preparation

- **Shared doc** — Both add topics before the meeting
- **Prompts** — "What's the best use of our time today?" "What's on your mind?"
- **Notes** — Update doc during/after; track commitments

## Conversation Types

| Type | Your Role |
|------|-----------|
| Career growth | Ask questions; sponsor and advocate |
| Feedback | SBI (Situation, Behavior, Impact); ask what support they need |
| Blockers | Help remove; don't solve for them |
| Coaching | Questions > answers; Socratic method |
| Venting | Listen; validate; don't fix |

## Good Questions

- "What's on your mind?" "What would make this week a success?"
- "Tell me more." "What happened next?" "How did that feel?"
- **Silence** — Wait 3–5 seconds after asking

## Anti-Patterns

| Avoid | Do Instead |
|-------|------------|
| Status updates only | Use standups for status |
| Cancelling frequently | Reschedule; 1:1s are sacrosanct |
| Only when things go wrong | Regular cadence builds trust |
| Manager does all the talking | 70% report, 30% you |
| No preparation | Shared doc; both add topics |
| Rushing | Block 30–60 min |

## Managing Up

Your 1:1 with your manager is also *your* meeting. Prepare: wins, decisions you need, blockers, career asks.

## Quick Tips

1. Same time, same day — predictability
2. Camera on (remote) — builds connection
3. Take notes — in shared doc
4. Follow up — do what you said you'd do
5. Adjust over time — adapt cadence and structure