(eerie music)
- Hi boys, it's me again, just your average girl.
Look I may be a biological female,
but I do hope that just for this video,
we're able to converse as men.
I want you to think back to 2016
which I know in internet years
is like halfway between now and the decline of Rome.
Do you like history, boys?
How did Rome fall again?
Was it the gays?
Tell me all about it.
Back in 2016 the big internet culture war
was between feminists on one side
and men's rights activists on the other.
What ever happened to that?
These days it's as dead a meme as I don't know, Harambe.
I did want to do the fedora though.
Every YouTuber who's ever covered
the men's rights movement has done the fedora
and I wanted to put my own little twist on it.
My wardrobe notes for this video say "MRA femme fatale"
and "fedora but make it fashion."
School shooter realness.
I feel like I'm also serving a little
red-pilled Carmen Sandiego?
In this video I wanna ask, in all seriousness,
what are we going to do about men?
Because, no offense, but, as a group,
you guys kind of seem like you're not doing okay.
Could a group of people who are purchasing
uncucked alpha yogurt possibly be subsisting
in a state of psychological balance?
Fellas, are regular bowel movements gay?
I guess yeah, kind of.
You don't see a whole lot of psyllium husk
in heterosexual medicine cabinets.
I'm losing my target audience here.
Listen my dudes, let's just say
I'm kinda worried about you guys.
And I'm not saying I'm any better.
To be clear, I'm not okay either.
There's like 15 jars of urine in my refrigerator right now.
Yeah, that's right.
Women pee too, okay?
Get over it.
I'm so sorry if this offends your male notions
of feminine delicacy, but I for one will not be shamed
by your patriarchal bullshit.
[dramatic music]
You boys, you're very rational, aren't you?
(scoffs) I suppose I was too.
I admit that these days rationality,
it's something I struggle with,
both as a biological female and as a Pisces moon.
But when I decided I wanted
to make a video for men, ContraPoints For Him
I started brushing up on my reasoning skills because
I wanna be so
f*cking rational for you.
So to prepare for this video
I read Newton's "Principia Mathematica",
Wittgenstein's "Tractatus Logico-Philosophicus",
and of course the philosophical classic,
"The Rational Male" by Rollo Caliente.
So my mind is well-lubricated and I'm ready
for what I have no doubt
will be a penetrating intellectual
interchange.
Look, I wanna play by your rules, okay?
So there will be no emotions in this video.
I will present my arguments in strict logical form,
relying only on facts, reason, evidence,
and deductive proof.
(Grindr notification)
(typing)
(Grindr notification)
(typing)
(Grindr notification)
Actually, you know what?
F*ck that.
Let's listen to house music and do sex drugs!
(upbeat music)
I'm pandering to the male gaze!
Oh, and the male straights.
God I love attention!
Hey gorg.
Hey gooooorg.
Okay, I'm ready.
Let's crack open a cold one boys.
My hands are too pretty to open the can.
I need a man to do it for me.
Help.
Fuck it.
(cork pops)
Okay, that's super great.
Hey gorg.
If there are any women still watching this video,
I'm really sorry about all this.
Unless you're into that sort of thing,
in which case how very dare.
I'm a good Presbyterian.
And by Presbyterian I do mean pansexual heyhowareyou.
Look the video's about men
so I'm trying to be attractive to men.
Am I doing this right?
Is this what men like?
Trap straps!
It is a risky look for a girl like me.
When you do a lingerie look you know
you're gonna wind up somewhere on the
Frank-N-Furter/Violet Chachki/Dita von Teese spectrum,
oh but you don't know where exactly.
And that is a dangerous game ladies.
I have to say though I actually am feeling
pretty f*cking empowered right, but um
that could be because of the drugs.
Look, gentlemen,
let's be rational.
No more fooling around, okay?
Part one, oh wait.
Rational.
Axiom one, America's Next Top Victim
I think there is some truth to the idea
that we live in a victimhood culture.
And I'm not just talking about campus SJWs
with their microaggressions.
No bitch, this goes all the way to the top.
We have white people whining about reverse racism.
We have the literal 1%
complaining about "anti-rich prejudice"
That must be super f*cking hard for you.
We have the heterosexual agenda
organizing straight pride parades.
You know, flaunting their sexuality
in the faces of children who are trying raise a family
and protesting in the street like a bunch of (beep).
And so of course because there was women's rights
there has to be men's rights too.
I've been hearing about men's rights
for my whole adult life,
and I've always been very skeptical.
Because in my experience,
online men's rights activism in practice
always looks like this.
Women try to do a good thing to solve a real problem
and then a man shows up to say, "Well what about men?
"Men also get harassed.
"Why aren't you talking about men?"
And is this man actually involved in activism
to stop harassment against men?
Of course he's fucking not.
He doesn't give a shit.
He's a troll.
His contribution to the conversation begins and ends
with, "What about men?"
What about them, honey?
For this video I decided
to actually do some research for once,
and the first thing I did was read the foundational text
of the modern men's rights movement,
which is "The Myth of Male Power" by Warren Farrell.
Actually I listened to the audiobook
'cause let's be honest, reading is hard.
But as I was listening, I admit I thought it made more sense
than I was expecting it to.
Basically, Farrell says that second-wave feminists
rightly fought against the traditional gender role
that confined women to domestic servitude.
But, he argues that the feminist idea
that men have all the power in society
is actually an illusion,
because the traditional gender role for men
is just as oppressive.
He introduces the idea of male disposability,
basically the idea that society values female lives
more than male lives, which are seen as expendable
in the service of protecting and providing
for women and children.
And he points to statistics showing
that men make up the majority of military casualties,
workplace fatalities, murder victims, suicides, and so on.
So we're supposed to conclude
that even though at first it looks like men
have more power than women,
in fact the queens have a certain kind of privilege
in being protected and provided for
by the expendable male worker bees.
And I guess that kinda makes sense.
I feel like I can at least empathize with the point of view.
What I'm saying is, I took the red pill.
And I rubbed it on my cliiiiiiit.
But some initial objections come to mind.
Like, haven't men been almost all
of the kings, presidents, and CEOs for millennia?
Didn't men make up all these rules in the first place?
I don't know, boys.
Still seems kinda patriarchal to me.
But maybe you'll say that it's only at the top of society
that men have more power than women.
Maybe the average man is also oppressed
by this system that feminists call patriarchy.
If that's what you're saying
I think I basically agree with that.
See, what you have to understand about me
is I am such
a f*cking Libra.
Whenever there's a conflict my gut reaction is to be like,
well, maybe everybody's right.
And maybe there's good points on both sides
and we should all just listen to each other
and rub each others cliiiiiiits.
But no, my Scorpio-rising persona will not allow that.
Oh, there will be a champion,
there will be blood.
So, judges,
how do we decide which gender
is America's next top victim?
I mean it's not like you can just change genders
and see how the other half lives.
Or can you?
(dramatic music)
Proposition two, Diary of an Ex-Man.
- (V.O.) Dear diary, with every false smile I conceal
that on the inside I'm drowning in darkness!
- Mom!
Get out of my room.
Ugh, You're ruining my life!
Look. I've never, ever talked about this on my channel before
so this is like a super f*cking vulnerable moment for me,
but I was born a boy.
Well, was I ever really a boy?
It's hard to say.
- (V.O.) Dear diary, growing up I always knew
that I was different from other kids, especially other boys.
And it took me so long to pinpoint what it was, but
there was this moment.
I must have been what, seven, eight years old?
And I was playing in my parents' room all by myself,
and I saw this pair of my mom's shoes lying on the floor
and I don't know what it was.
It was like this magnetism that drew me to them,
and I put my little feet in them
and walked in front of the mirror and
I didn't really have the words yet
to describe how I felt,
but basically in that moment I sensed
that God had made a mistake
and I was destined to be,
to be a crossdresser.
- That is super f*cking coconuts.
Anyway then in my 20s my life completely fell apart
and I became a woman.
Hey, how are you?
I became one of... (chimes) the dolls.
My plastic surgeon is an artist.
Look, boys, the point I'm trying to make here is
I used to live your lifestyle.
I know what people like you get up to
and I think it's disgusting.
I gotta say though, since I transitioned,
my life has been super f*cking great.
Like, way better.
Now of course a lot of that
is not because women have it better than men,
but because, hey gorg, I am literally transgendered!
So before I transitioned I was dying inside.
You know, I was in the wrong body.
And now (sighs) it's like I finally have the body
I was meant to die inside of!
But it's not just that.
I do think that, in some ways,
since I started presenting as a woman,
people actually do treat me better.
I mean, they take my opinions less seriously sure,
but that's probably for the best.
Now before using my personal experience
as any kind of evidence,
I guess I should say a couple caveats.
Caveat one is that most pre-transition trans women
are not like other boys and most of us were not living
the business-class male experience by any means.
You know, it's a lot of drunk melancholics,
tormented sissies, secretive transvestites,
poets, you know,
that sort of thing.
Caveat two is that MY trans experience
is not THE trans experience,
and I do have a lot of other privileges
that made things go super f*cking well for me heyhowreyou.
Don't you just love it when someone checks their privilege
in a way that's actually just bragging?
You know it's super important for me
to acknowledge that I've been so successful
and I've come so far
in part because I'm white and I'm skinny and I'm young
and I'm blonde and I'm rich and I pass
and I'm educated and I'm popular
and my plastic surgeon is an artist
and my boyfriend is really rich and hot
and I come from a pure Aryan bloodline.
And part of what makes me
so enlightened and so compassionate
is that I'm able to recognize these privileges
that I have that just might not be available
to people who are less fortunate.
From the bottom of my motherf*cking
and my fatherf*cking heart
that must be super f*cking hard for you.
I can't even imagine.
What I was saying is there are ways
that people treat me better now
that I'm presenting as a woman.
You know, people smile at me more.
I feel more taken care of.
Men do things for me!
Now a lot of women don't like men doing things for them.
You know, holding doors, helping with luggage
because they feel that it's infantalizing or condescending.
But not me.
I love it, both because I love attention
and because I am a recumbent queen
who's too much of a delicate flower to lift a finger.
I do this thing on airplanes where when it's time for me
to put my carry-on luggage in the overhead bin,
I pretend that my bag is too heavy for me to lift,
and then some man will usually get up and do it for me,
even though I'm taller than most men.
It makes me happy!
Another good thing about becoming a woman
is I integrated more into female social groups,
and I found that they provide a kind of communal support
and overt affection
that male social groups generally just don't.
I find the female social style suits me better
than the male one, which tends to be more atomized,
more individualist, where affection is always concealed
behind this semi-jokey front of competition.
Like think about the way boys talk to each other
when they're playing video games.
A third improvement for me has to do with the way
men and women are treated differently in public space.
When you present female in public
you're more likely to be treated as a spectacle
to be commented upon.
People, usually men, will just blurt out
their opinions about you,
sometimes complimentary, sometimes insulting,
sometimes just f*cking weird.
Whereas when you present male in public
you're more likely to be treated
either as invisible or as dangerous.
Now feminists have traditionally
interpreted these differences
as men asserting dominance over women in public space,
and they've criticized catcalling
as being objectifying, degrading, and misogynistic.
And it certainly can be all of those things.
But there's different kinds of catcalling,
and I have different feelings about them.
If I'm walking with another woman
and a man says, "Ladies, you look beautiful tonight,"
I don't know, I like that.
I think that's nice.
It makes me feel seen.
It makes me feel admired.
It boosts my confidence.
Whereas, if I'm walking alone
and a drunk starts following me down the street singing,
"Have you seen Polythene Pam?
"She's so good looking, but she looks like a man!"
That I am less enthusiastic about.
I mean not that that's ever happened.
I'm completely f*cking unclockable heyhowreyou...
♪ No one knows what it's like ♪
♪ To be a sad tran ♪
I definitely get where feminists are coming from
because street harassment sucks.
I'm a lot more afraid walking alone at night
than I used to be, and there's a lot more places
I just won't go by myself.
But on the other hand,
I do now enjoy being able to walk down the street at night
without other people acting afraid of me.
I think a lot of feminists have failed to imagine the ways
that being treated as invisible or dangerous
can also kind of suck.
In my video on incels
I talked about male invisibility on dating apps
and how getting no attention at all
can actually be emotionally worse
than getting a lot of sh*tty attention.
And when it comes to being treated as dangerous,
when I was living as a man
sometimes if I was walking at night,
a woman on the same block as me
would change sides of the street.
And I totally get why.
Men do scary shit sometimes, and it's better to be safe.
But it still stung a little bit
to be treated as dangerous by default.
I think it can actually be harmful,
which becomes clearer if we add race into the equation.
There's ways that white women's fear
can actually be dangerous in particular to black men.
I had an experience with this recently
when I was filming my video "The Apocalypse"
and I'd rented a room in a hotel casino.
Around midnight I was carrying some camera equipment
up to my room, and I got into the elevator
with a group of people from the casino floor.
A couple floors up, everyone got out of the elevator
except for me and a single black man.
Well, I mean he was alone,
but I don't know if he was single.
That's not part of the story.
And as soon as the door closed
he started literally whistling Row, Row, Row Your Boat,
the official melody of performative innocence.
And I realized oh sh*t, he's afraid that I'm afraid.
And I found that just excruciating.
I was like oh God.
How do other white women behave in elevators?
Do they like, clutch their purses?
(groans)
That's so f*cking embarrassing.
Nothing like that had ever happened to me
when I was living as a man.
It's not a thing between black men and white men.
It's a thing between black men and white women.
And so that dynamic was there
not just because I'm white and he's black,
but because I'm a woman and he's a man.
And I thought of that incident again
when I was listening to "The Myth of Male Power"
and Farrell says, "Men's greatest weakness
"is their facade of strength,
"and women's greatest strength
"is their facade of weakness."
I think there is some truth to the idea
that women's perceived vulnerability
can make them powerful,
and men's perceived power can make them vulnerable.
Now I hope you're taking all of this with a grain of salt
because these are just some little observations I've made
based on a handful of anecdotes.
And as rational males
it's important that we consider the facts,
the stats, and the figures.
Did you know that 46% of men
are at least 2.8 times different than 73% of women?
Look it up.
I haven't.
I guess my super f*cking Libra opinion
is that there's upsides and downsides
to male and female experience.
I don't actually think there's a single definite answer
to the vague and useless question,
"Which gender has it worse?"
I consider myself a feminist
because I support reproductive rights
and I oppose workplace misogyny
and I generally agree with a lot of the activism
that happens under the heading of feminism.
But I also think a lot of men are just
having a super f*cking difficult time right now
and that must be super f*cking hard for them heyhowreyou.
And I don't think feminists have an obligation
to care about male angst, but I care about you boys.
God, I'm such a cool girl,
️ I think the entire mid-Atlantic region
is about to freeze over.
No, I'm just a super f*cking empathetic Pisces moon,
and I really try to understand
other people's pain because
I just find it really, really funny.
I'm also really, really sobering up here.
The drugs have worn off,
and I am suddenly feeling
very naked.
Like it's just now occurring to me
that this is a highly inappropriate outfit
for this occasion.
So, I'm gonna go put on a robe,
and I'll meet you back for the next section.
Postulate three, The Man Question.
(upbeat music)
Hi boys, et cetera, et cetera.
Heyhowareyou?
For the last three years on this channel
I have been your Virgil, leading you through gender hell.
Pick-up artists, gender dysphoria, incels,
radical feminists, non-binary genders,
men's rights activists.
It seems like everybody's having gender trouble.
So what do we make of that?
Well gorg, a very, very rational male philosopher
named Hegel once said
that the unfolding of history
is a basically rational process, gorg.
That means that at any time in history,
society is based on certain principles, like
all men are created equal
as long as they're super f*cking white and rich.
And there's always contradictions within those principles,
which creates tension and eventually leads to a rupture,
like a revolution, where society has
to be reorganized according to new principles.
At least, I think he was saying something like that.
It's pretty hard to make anything out
through the fog of his unreadable,
hyper-abstract man-jabbering.
God, I can't stand that shit
or any of the other music-hating volcels
of the male philosophical tradition.
My point is I think our society has reached a place
where gender as we know it just isn't working anymore.
Now no one seems to agree why it isn't working
or how to fix it,
but we do all agree that it's broken.
We have mainstream feminists saying we need
to continue advancing the rights of women.
We have conservatives saying
we need restore the gender roles of the 1950s.
We have an increasing number of people
not identifying as men or women.
We have TERFs who think that the transgenders
are the single greatest threat to civilization, heyhowareyou?
And we have men's rights activists saying we need
a male equivalent to feminism
to liberate men from their oppressive gender role.
Now I wanna focus on that last one
because in principle I agree.
I've spent a lot of the last three years
covering the manosphere.
I know, such a feminine topic.
Love that for me.
And from all the time I've tortured myself
wading through these communities of incels,
pick-up artists, men's rights slacktivists,
intellectual dark web fanboys,
and alt-right racists, I've noticed
that they all have one thing in common,
which is that they all recruit
from the same massive pool of sad young men.
We all know the archetype.
He has trouble relating to women.
He has no strong friendship group.
He's not excited about any long-term goals,
and he fills the void with video games and porn.
And just to clarify, I'm not trying to take away
your video games and porn.
I'm not telling what to do with your penis.
You can rub one out to this video for all I care.
Just don't pull a Gamergate on me, okay?
(sighs)
I live in fear.
Look, I like to believe
that until the red-pillers inject their poison,
most of these boys are not bad people.
I think this all originates
in a genuine crisis of male identity.
And I think it's happened in something
like the way men's rights activists describe.
The sacrificial role of men as warriors
is no longer widely glorified or necessary.
The traditional protector/provider role of men
is being replaced by a more equal
and undefined gender dynamic.
And college professors and activists are telling men
that most of our culture's aspirational representations
of manhood are toxic and bad.
But without an attractive replacement vision
of aspirational manhood,
average young men can only imagine their future as... what?
The beta.
The cuck.
The nu male.
And in a post-LeftTube internet,
we're so used to laughing at this vocabulary,
and to be fair it is very funny,
but we forget, especially us grills,
that for a lot of men these words actually do
tap into a deep, existential angst.
And a lot of leftists go,
"Well how can men be so angsty, especially white men?
"They're so privileged."
But existential angst is often a disease of privilege.
If you're actually being oppressed you have a struggle.
You have something to fight for,
and therefore a purpose.
But for a lot men their lack of purpose
puts them in search of a struggle.
And that, along with the loneliness
and the lack of a positive identity
is what makes men vulnerable to recruitment
by the manosphere groups and by the alt-right.
And even worse, it seems to be a motivating factor
for the small but growing number of young men
who decide to pick up a gun
and open fire in a shopping center.
There were two mass shootings during the weekend
I was writing this video, resulting in 31 deaths.
Both shooters were young white men,
and one of them posted about the shooting
on an alt-right image board.
Now I don't pretend to fully understand
the motives of mass shooters,
but I don't think it's a coincidence
that basically all of them are men.
One possible interpretation of the mass shooting epidemic
is that these killers are trying to resurrect
some horrible parody of ancient masculine glory
and therefore to be seen and recognized as men
by unleashing Homeric violence in a f*cking Walmart.
And of course there's also the racism
of the alt-right killers
and the wounded sexual entitlement of the incel killers.
But that racism and that sexual entitlement are learned,
and men in the throes of a masculinity crisis
are much more receptive to learning it.
So you can try to take down their forums
and ban their accounts and deplatform their events,
but as long as this male identity crisis goes on,
I don't see any end to these problems.
Theorem four, What Do?
There's this media narrative
that has emerged around me and around this channel.
And by the way, the fact
that there's any kind media narrative about this channel
is super f*cking coconuts.
Because let's be real gorg,
I just wanted to pour milk on my face
and talk about the mouthfeel.
But there's this media narrative
that my role in the discourse is
"de-radicalizing
"young
"alt-right men."
And it's true that if you read
the leftist YouTube fan subreddits,
I used to be alt-right posts are so common
they're considered cliché.
And some of them cite me as an influence
in changing their politics,
which I love for them and I'm super f*cking happy about it,
but it's also a lot of responsibility.
They're (Grindr notification) my boys.
And I worry about (Grindr notification) my boys.
Because in reality it's not like
they go from far-right extremists to complacent centrists.
No.
Most of them go far left.
A lot of times they become communists or anarchists.
So I watch them go from far to my right
to significantly to my left.
It's not really de-radicalizing so much as re-radicalizing.
And I think it's definitely an improvement,
but I still worry it's not gonna be good enough.
I worry about (Grindr notification) my boys.
Because I don't think that the left yet has
a final solution to the man question.
Oh no.
That was worded poorly.
You know, there's kind of two options
the left has for disillusioned men.
The first is the Marxist promise of economic revolution.
We say, "Well, actually yes, you are oppressed.
"But you're oppressed because of your class, not your gender.
"So just join the revolution.
"It's gonna be super f*cking crazy.
"We're gonna overthrow the bourgeoisie,
"meow meow,
"smash no voting, and then things will be better for you."
Now, I think that has a couple limitations.
One is that I look at the far left
and I see a bunch of people
who spend all their time accusing each other
of abusing moderator privileges in closed Facebook groups.
And I'm concerned
that might not succeed
at ending capitalism.
Meow meow
Like, definitely vote for Bernie Sanders
or Elizabeth Warren or whoever,
but if you're investing all of your hopes
in a capital R Revolution,
I worry that can become like waiting for Godot
or waiting for the rapture.
So we do need political change,
but I feel like I'm failing
(Grindr notification) my boys
if I'm somehow giving them the idea
that revolution is their only hope.
Cause here's the other thing.
Even if we did succeed at ending capitalism,
there would still be gender,
and (Grindr notification) my boys would still need some model
of what it is to lead a good life as a man.
Now the other option the left has for disillusioned men
is the feminist tranquilizer.
We say, "Look, toxic masculinity is the reason
"you don't have room to express your feelings,
"and it's the reason you feel lonely and inadequate."
So, while feminism tells women, "You hate your body
"and you're constantly doubting yourself
"because society did this to you and needs to change,"
we kinda just tell men, "You're lonely and suicidal
"because you're toxic.
"Stop it."
We tell them that they're broken
without really telling them how to fix themselves.
I think what men need is a new, positive ideal of manhood,
which I don't think is something
that women cannot create for men, even if they wanted to.
And honestly the best way for that to happen
may actually be some kind of men's movement.
But on the left the whole idea of a men's movement
is basically taboo because the men's movement we all know
is basically just a backlash to feminism,
and at worst, it's just straight-up misogyny.
And look boys, I understand that being lectured
about manspreading for most of 2015
was super fucking hard for you
and you're still mad about it,
but posting endless outrage p*rn
about false r*pe accusations and paternity fraud
isn't actually gonna make life any better for you.
Because yes, those things are horrible when they happen,
but they're not systemic issues that affect most men.
I think what would actually improve life for most men
is a positive ideal of 21st century manhood,
but that's not something I can give to you
because in case you hadn't noticed
I'm literally a fu*cking woman.
I can't mom you through this one boys.
You're on your own.
You have to help each other.
So find each other in the comments section.
Meet up on Reddit.
Make friends.
Clean your room.
Leave the house.
F*ck each other. (Grindr notification)
I don't know.
It's worth a try.
And failing that,
you could always throw in the towel and become a woman.
Worked for me!
(upbeat music)
- I'm just trying to give like m'lady energy.
- Yeah, it is.
It is English.
It's very John Maclean.
Very Quentin Crisp, very aristocrat.
I'm super f*cking naked right now.
That's crazy.
That's super f*cking crazy.
According to traditional gender roles,
men are useful for their labor
and women are useful for their wombs.
Well, I'm a woman without a womb so I guess I'm useless.
But I'm beautifully useless.
Agh!
I'm a work of art!
The problem with our society
is we've turned men into women.
It's disgusting.
As an ally to men, it's not my place
to speak for them or speak over them,
but I just want to use my platform
to uplift some male voices
who might not have as many subscribers as me.
I'm not hypergamous.
I don't need a rich husband.
If I may quote Cher,
"I don't need a rich man.
"I am a rich man."
It's not even much of an insult
being called a delusional man.
Many great books have been written by delusional men.
So bad.
I'm bad.
I'm really bad.
Okay.