WEBVTT Kind: captions Language: en 00:00:01.689 --> 00:00:04.189 (eerie music) 00:00:05.630 --> 00:00:09.260 - Hi boys, it's me again, just your average girl. 00:00:09.260 --> 00:00:10.970 Look I may be a biological female, 00:00:10.970 --> 00:00:13.510 but I do hope that just for this video, 00:00:13.510 --> 00:00:15.933 we're able to converse as men. 00:00:16.960 --> 00:00:18.620 I want you to think back to 2016 00:00:18.620 --> 00:00:20.150 which I know in internet years 00:00:20.150 --> 00:00:23.080 is like halfway between now and the decline of Rome. 00:00:23.080 --> 00:00:24.370 Do you like history, boys? 00:00:24.370 --> 00:00:25.810 How did Rome fall again? 00:00:25.810 --> 00:00:27.630 Was it the gays? 00:00:27.630 --> 00:00:29.130 Tell me all about it. 00:00:29.130 --> 00:00:31.790 Back in 2016 the big internet culture war 00:00:31.790 --> 00:00:33.900 was between feminists on one side 00:00:33.900 --> 00:00:36.010 and men's rights activists on the other. 00:00:36.010 --> 00:00:37.350 What ever happened to that? 00:00:37.350 --> 00:00:42.350 These days it's as dead a meme as I don't know, Harambe. 00:00:42.490 --> 00:00:44.050 I did want to do the fedora though. 00:00:44.050 --> 00:00:45.560 Every YouTuber who's ever covered 00:00:45.560 --> 00:00:47.270 the men's rights movement has done the fedora 00:00:47.270 --> 00:00:50.410 and I wanted to put my own little twist on it. 00:00:50.410 --> 00:00:54.030 My wardrobe notes for this video say "MRA femme fatale" 00:00:54.030 --> 00:00:56.400 and "fedora but make it fashion." 00:00:56.400 --> 00:00:57.770 School shooter realness. 00:00:57.770 --> 00:00:59.620 I feel like I'm also serving a little 00:01:01.110 --> 00:01:03.520 red-pilled Carmen Sandiego? 00:01:03.520 --> 00:01:05.983 In this video I wanna ask, in all seriousness, 00:01:05.983 --> 00:01:08.440 what are we going to do about men? 00:01:08.440 --> 00:01:11.969 Because, no offense, but, as a group, 00:01:11.969 --> 00:01:16.090 you guys kind of seem like you're not doing okay. 00:01:16.090 --> 00:01:17.950 Could a group of people who are purchasing 00:01:17.950 --> 00:01:20.221 uncucked alpha yogurt possibly be subsisting 00:01:20.221 --> 00:01:22.660 in a state of psychological balance? 00:01:22.660 --> 00:01:26.170 Fellas, are regular bowel movements gay? 00:01:26.170 --> 00:01:27.347 I guess yeah, kind of. 00:01:27.347 --> 00:01:29.390 You don't see a whole lot of psyllium husk 00:01:29.390 --> 00:01:31.275 in heterosexual medicine cabinets. 00:01:31.275 --> 00:01:32.970 I'm losing my target audience here. 00:01:32.970 --> 00:01:35.350 Listen my dudes, let's just say 00:01:35.350 --> 00:01:36.970 I'm kinda worried about you guys. 00:01:36.970 --> 00:01:38.710 And I'm not saying I'm any better. 00:01:38.710 --> 00:01:41.040 To be clear, I'm not okay either. 00:01:41.040 --> 00:01:43.888 There's like 15 jars of urine in my refrigerator right now. 00:01:43.888 --> 00:01:45.500 Yeah, that's right. 00:01:45.500 --> 00:01:46.495 Women pee too, okay? 00:01:46.495 --> 00:01:47.810 Get over it. 00:01:47.810 --> 00:01:50.120 I'm so sorry if this offends your male notions 00:01:50.120 --> 00:01:53.630 of feminine delicacy, but I for one will not be shamed 00:01:53.630 --> 00:01:55.775 by your patriarchal bullshit. 00:01:55.775 --> 00:01:57.108 [dramatic music] 00:01:59.250 --> 00:02:02.247 You boys, you're very rational, aren't you? 00:02:02.247 --> 00:02:03.800 (scoffs) I suppose I was too. 00:02:04.440 --> 00:02:06.168 I admit that these days rationality, 00:02:06.168 --> 00:02:07.819 it's something I struggle with, 00:02:07.819 --> 00:02:11.350 both as a biological female and as a Pisces moon. 00:02:11.350 --> 00:02:12.480 But when I decided I wanted 00:02:12.480 --> 00:02:14.730 to make a video for men, ContraPoints For Him 00:02:16.000 --> 00:02:18.599 I started brushing up on my reasoning skills because 00:02:18.599 --> 00:02:20.135 I wanna be so 00:02:20.135 --> 00:02:22.900 f*cking rational for you. 00:02:22.900 --> 00:02:24.060 So to prepare for this video 00:02:24.060 --> 00:02:26.700 I read Newton's "Principia Mathematica", 00:02:26.700 --> 00:02:28.760 Wittgenstein's "Tractatus Logico-Philosophicus", 00:02:28.760 --> 00:02:30.820 and of course the philosophical classic, 00:02:30.820 --> 00:02:33.290 "The Rational Male" by Rollo Caliente. 00:02:33.290 --> 00:02:35.424 So my mind is well-lubricated and I'm ready 00:02:35.424 --> 00:02:37.050 for what I have no doubt 00:02:37.050 --> 00:02:39.930 will be a penetrating intellectual 00:02:41.450 --> 00:02:42.620 interchange. 00:02:42.620 --> 00:02:44.880 Look, I wanna play by your rules, okay? 00:02:44.880 --> 00:02:47.660 So there will be no emotions in this video. 00:02:47.660 --> 00:02:50.560 I will present my arguments in strict logical form, 00:02:50.560 --> 00:02:54.020 relying only on facts, reason, evidence, 00:02:54.020 --> 00:02:55.458 and deductive proof. 00:02:55.458 --> 00:02:58.445 (Grindr notification) 00:02:58.445 --> 00:03:00.061 (typing) 00:03:00.061 --> 00:03:00.894 (Grindr notification) 00:03:00.894 --> 00:03:02.802 (Grindr notification) 00:03:02.802 --> 00:03:04.003 (typing) 00:03:04.003 --> 00:03:04.836 (Grindr notification) 00:03:04.836 --> 00:03:05.669 Actually, you know what? 00:03:07.170 --> 00:03:08.180 F*ck that. 00:03:08.180 --> 00:03:11.149 Let's listen to house music and do sex drugs! 00:03:11.149 --> 00:03:13.816 (upbeat music) 00:03:26.670 --> 00:03:28.770 I'm pandering to the male gaze! 00:03:28.770 --> 00:03:32.640 Oh, and the male straights. 00:03:32.640 --> 00:03:33.850 God I love attention! 00:03:33.850 --> 00:03:34.840 Hey gorg. 00:03:34.840 --> 00:03:36.100 Hey gorg. 00:03:36.100 --> 00:03:36.940 Hey gooooorg. 00:03:38.320 --> 00:03:39.153 Okay, I'm ready. 00:03:39.153 --> 00:03:40.933 Let's crack open a cold one boys. 00:03:42.890 --> 00:03:45.230 My hands are too pretty to open the can. 00:03:45.230 --> 00:03:47.200 I need a man to do it for me. 00:03:47.200 --> 00:03:48.033 Help. 00:03:49.810 --> 00:03:50.954 Fuck it. 00:03:50.954 --> 00:03:53.070 (cork pops) 00:03:53.070 --> 00:03:54.222 Okay, that's super great. 00:03:54.222 --> 00:03:55.055 Hey gorg. 00:03:55.055 --> 00:03:55.888 Hey gorg. 00:03:55.888 --> 00:03:57.950 If there are any women still watching this video, 00:03:57.950 --> 00:03:59.333 I'm really sorry about all this. 00:03:59.333 --> 00:04:01.930 Unless you're into that sort of thing, 00:04:01.930 --> 00:04:03.630 in which case how very dare. 00:04:03.630 --> 00:04:05.140 I'm a good Presbyterian. 00:04:05.140 --> 00:04:08.200 And by Presbyterian I do mean pansexual heyhowareyou. 00:04:08.243 --> 00:04:09.420 Look the video's about men 00:04:09.420 --> 00:04:11.615 so I'm trying to be attractive to men. 00:04:11.615 --> 00:04:13.460 Am I doing this right? 00:04:13.460 --> 00:04:14.620 Is this what men like? 00:04:14.620 --> 00:04:15.853 Trap straps! 00:04:16.720 --> 00:04:18.460 It is a risky look for a girl like me. 00:04:18.460 --> 00:04:19.740 When you do a lingerie look you know 00:04:19.740 --> 00:04:21.160 you're gonna wind up somewhere on the 00:04:21.160 --> 00:04:23.572 Frank-N-Furter/Violet Chachki/Dita von Teese spectrum, 00:04:23.572 --> 00:04:26.260 oh but you don't know where exactly. 00:04:26.260 --> 00:04:28.990 And that is a dangerous game ladies. 00:04:28.990 --> 00:04:31.001 I have to say though I actually am feeling 00:04:31.001 --> 00:04:34.230 pretty f*cking empowered right, but um 00:04:35.720 --> 00:04:37.740 that could be because of the drugs. 00:04:37.740 --> 00:04:39.300 Look, gentlemen, 00:04:39.300 --> 00:04:40.820 let's be rational. 00:04:40.820 --> 00:04:42.490 No more fooling around, okay? 00:04:42.490 --> 00:04:44.674 Part one, oh wait. 00:04:44.674 --> 00:04:46.560 Rational. 00:04:46.560 --> 00:04:50.310 Axiom one, America's Next Top Victim 00:04:50.310 --> 00:04:52.870 I think there is some truth to the idea 00:04:52.870 --> 00:04:55.430 that we live in a victimhood culture. 00:04:55.430 --> 00:04:57.780 And I'm not just talking about campus SJWs 00:04:57.780 --> 00:04:59.330 with their microaggressions. 00:04:59.330 --> 00:05:01.640 No bitch, this goes all the way to the top. 00:05:01.640 --> 00:05:04.920 We have white people whining about reverse racism. 00:05:04.920 --> 00:05:06.700 We have the literal 1% 00:05:06.700 --> 00:05:12.200 complaining about "anti-rich prejudice" 00:05:12.288 --> 00:05:15.140 That must be super f*cking hard for you. 00:05:15.140 --> 00:05:16.950 We have the heterosexual agenda 00:05:16.950 --> 00:05:19.260 organizing straight pride parades. 00:05:19.260 --> 00:05:21.240 You know, flaunting their sexuality 00:05:21.240 --> 00:05:23.890 in the faces of children who are trying raise a family 00:05:23.890 --> 00:05:26.091 and protesting in the street like a bunch of (beep). 00:05:26.091 --> 00:05:28.830 And so of course because there was women's rights 00:05:28.830 --> 00:05:30.790 there has to be men's rights too. 00:05:30.790 --> 00:05:32.180 I've been hearing about men's rights 00:05:32.180 --> 00:05:33.460 for my whole adult life, 00:05:33.460 --> 00:05:35.550 and I've always been very skeptical. 00:05:35.550 --> 00:05:36.850 Because in my experience, 00:05:36.850 --> 00:05:39.220 online men's rights activism in practice 00:05:39.220 --> 00:05:40.720 always looks like this. 00:05:40.720 --> 00:05:43.498 Women try to do a good thing to solve a real problem 00:05:43.498 --> 00:05:47.290 and then a man shows up to say, "Well what about men? 00:05:47.290 --> 00:05:48.770 "Men also get harassed. 00:05:48.770 --> 00:05:50.790 "Why aren't you talking about men?" 00:05:50.790 --> 00:05:53.520 And is this man actually involved in activism 00:05:53.520 --> 00:05:55.330 to stop harassment against men? 00:05:55.330 --> 00:05:57.490 Of course he's fucking not. 00:05:57.490 --> 00:05:59.080 He doesn't give a shit. 00:05:59.080 --> 00:06:00.260 He's a troll. 00:06:00.260 --> 00:06:03.770 His contribution to the conversation begins and ends 00:06:03.770 --> 00:06:05.310 with, "What about men?" 00:06:05.310 --> 00:06:06.550 What about them, honey? 00:06:06.550 --> 00:06:07.630 For this video I decided 00:06:07.630 --> 00:06:09.420 to actually do some research for once, 00:06:09.420 --> 00:06:11.860 and the first thing I did was read the foundational text 00:06:11.860 --> 00:06:13.560 of the modern men's rights movement, 00:06:13.560 --> 00:06:16.160 which is "The Myth of Male Power" by Warren Farrell. 00:06:16.160 --> 00:06:17.800 Actually I listened to the audiobook 00:06:17.800 --> 00:06:20.490 'cause let's be honest, reading is hard. 00:06:20.490 --> 00:06:23.670 But as I was listening, I admit I thought it made more sense 00:06:23.670 --> 00:06:25.030 than I was expecting it to. 00:06:25.030 --> 00:06:27.710 Basically, Farrell says that second-wave feminists 00:06:27.710 --> 00:06:30.000 rightly fought against the traditional gender role 00:06:30.000 --> 00:06:32.170 that confined women to domestic servitude. 00:06:32.170 --> 00:06:34.280 But, he argues that the feminist idea 00:06:34.280 --> 00:06:36.380 that men have all the power in society 00:06:36.380 --> 00:06:37.840 is actually an illusion, 00:06:37.840 --> 00:06:40.140 because the traditional gender role for men 00:06:40.140 --> 00:06:41.530 is just as oppressive. 00:06:41.530 --> 00:06:44.330 He introduces the idea of male disposability, 00:06:44.330 --> 00:06:47.990 basically the idea that society values female lives 00:06:47.990 --> 00:06:50.830 more than male lives, which are seen as expendable 00:06:50.830 --> 00:06:52.840 in the service of protecting and providing 00:06:52.840 --> 00:06:54.130 for women and children. 00:06:54.130 --> 00:06:55.810 And he points to statistics showing 00:06:55.810 --> 00:06:58.680 that men make up the majority of military casualties, 00:06:58.680 --> 00:07:01.401 workplace fatalities, murder victims, suicides, and so on. 00:07:01.401 --> 00:07:03.610 So we're supposed to conclude 00:07:03.610 --> 00:07:05.930 that even though at first it looks like men 00:07:05.930 --> 00:07:07.430 have more power than women, 00:07:07.430 --> 00:07:11.270 in fact the queens have a certain kind of privilege 00:07:11.270 --> 00:07:13.550 in being protected and provided for 00:07:13.550 --> 00:07:16.110 by the expendable male worker bees. 00:07:16.110 --> 00:07:18.370 And I guess that kinda makes sense. 00:07:18.370 --> 00:07:20.824 I feel like I can at least empathize with the point of view. 00:07:20.824 --> 00:07:23.712 What I'm saying is, I took the red pill. 00:07:23.712 --> 00:07:25.580 And I rubbed it on my cliiiiiiit. 00:07:27.800 --> 00:07:30.380 But some initial objections come to mind. 00:07:30.380 --> 00:07:32.310 Like, haven't men been almost all 00:07:32.310 --> 00:07:35.280 of the kings, presidents, and CEOs for millennia? 00:07:35.280 --> 00:07:37.910 Didn't men make up all these rules in the first place? 00:07:37.910 --> 00:07:38.840 I don't know, boys. 00:07:38.840 --> 00:07:41.480 Still seems kinda patriarchal to me. 00:07:41.480 --> 00:07:44.810 But maybe you'll say that it's only at the top of society 00:07:44.810 --> 00:07:47.110 that men have more power than women. 00:07:47.110 --> 00:07:50.530 Maybe the average man is also oppressed 00:07:50.530 --> 00:07:53.260 by this system that feminists call patriarchy. 00:07:53.260 --> 00:07:54.570 If that's what you're saying 00:07:54.570 --> 00:07:57.810 I think I basically agree with that. 00:07:57.810 --> 00:07:58.976 See, what you have to understand about me 00:07:58.976 --> 00:08:00.720 is I am such 00:08:00.720 --> 00:08:02.350 a f*cking Libra. 00:08:02.350 --> 00:08:04.950 Whenever there's a conflict my gut reaction is to be like, 00:08:04.950 --> 00:08:06.292 well, maybe everybody's right. 00:08:06.292 --> 00:08:08.830 And maybe there's good points on both sides 00:08:08.830 --> 00:08:10.500 and we should all just listen to each other 00:08:10.500 --> 00:08:14.143 and rub each others cliiiiiiits. 00:08:14.143 --> 00:08:16.563 But no, my Scorpio-rising persona will not allow that. 00:08:16.563 --> 00:08:18.756 Oh, there will be a champion, 00:08:18.756 --> 00:08:20.700 there will be blood. 00:08:20.700 --> 00:08:22.930 So, judges, 00:08:22.930 --> 00:08:24.680 how do we decide which gender 00:08:24.680 --> 00:08:26.490 is America's next top victim? 00:08:26.490 --> 00:08:29.600 I mean it's not like you can just change genders 00:08:29.600 --> 00:08:31.250 and see how the other half lives. 00:08:31.250 --> 00:08:33.048 Or can you? 00:08:33.048 --> 00:08:33.881 (dramatic music) 00:08:33.881 --> 00:08:37.582 Proposition two, Diary of an Ex-Man. 00:08:37.582 --> 00:08:41.440 - (V.O.) Dear diary, with every false smile I conceal 00:08:41.440 --> 00:08:44.233 that on the inside I'm drowning in darkness! 00:08:45.240 --> 00:08:46.780 - Mom! 00:08:46.780 --> 00:08:48.370 Get out of my room. 00:08:48.370 --> 00:08:49.610 Ugh, You're ruining my life! 00:08:49.610 --> 00:08:54.040 Look. I've never, ever talked about this on my channel before 00:08:54.040 --> 00:08:57.190 so this is like a super f*cking vulnerable moment for me, 00:08:57.190 --> 00:08:59.090 but I was born a boy. 00:08:59.090 --> 00:09:01.436 Well, was I ever really a boy? 00:09:01.436 --> 00:09:02.717 It's hard to say. 00:09:02.717 --> 00:09:05.810 - (V.O.) Dear diary, growing up I always knew 00:09:05.810 --> 00:09:09.570 that I was different from other kids, especially other boys. 00:09:09.570 --> 00:09:13.069 And it took me so long to pinpoint what it was, but 00:09:13.069 --> 00:09:15.600 there was this moment. 00:09:15.600 --> 00:09:18.370 I must have been what, seven, eight years old? 00:09:18.370 --> 00:09:21.410 And I was playing in my parents' room all by myself, 00:09:21.410 --> 00:09:25.840 and I saw this pair of my mom's shoes lying on the floor 00:09:25.840 --> 00:09:27.530 and I don't know what it was. 00:09:27.530 --> 00:09:30.940 It was like this magnetism that drew me to them, 00:09:30.940 --> 00:09:32.650 and I put my little feet in them 00:09:32.650 --> 00:09:34.827 and walked in front of the mirror and 00:09:34.827 --> 00:09:37.060 I didn't really have the words yet 00:09:37.060 --> 00:09:38.560 to describe how I felt, 00:09:38.560 --> 00:09:42.130 but basically in that moment I sensed 00:09:42.130 --> 00:09:43.830 that God had made a mistake 00:09:43.830 --> 00:09:47.850 and I was destined to be, 00:09:47.850 --> 00:09:49.193 to be a crossdresser. 00:09:51.013 --> 00:09:53.510 - That is super f*cking coconuts. 00:09:53.510 --> 00:09:56.160 Anyway then in my 20s my life completely fell apart 00:09:56.160 --> 00:09:56.993 and I became a woman. 00:09:56.993 --> 00:09:57.880 Hey, how are you? 00:09:57.880 --> 00:09:59.870 I became one of... (chimes) the dolls. 00:09:59.870 --> 00:10:01.560 My plastic surgeon is an artist. 00:10:01.560 --> 00:10:03.617 Look, boys, the point I'm trying to make here is 00:10:03.617 --> 00:10:06.070 I used to live your lifestyle. 00:10:06.070 --> 00:10:07.510 I know what people like you get up to 00:10:07.510 --> 00:10:09.380 and I think it's disgusting. 00:10:09.380 --> 00:10:11.416 I gotta say though, since I transitioned, 00:10:11.416 --> 00:10:13.420 my life has been super f*cking great. 00:10:13.420 --> 00:10:14.790 Like, way better. 00:10:14.790 --> 00:10:15.700 Now of course a lot of that 00:10:15.700 --> 00:10:17.590 is not because women have it better than men, 00:10:17.590 --> 00:10:22.448 but because, hey gorg, I am literally transgendered! 00:10:22.448 --> 00:10:25.520 So before I transitioned I was dying inside. 00:10:25.520 --> 00:10:26.986 You know, I was in the wrong body. 00:10:26.986 --> 00:10:30.900 And now (sighs) it's like I finally have the body 00:10:30.900 --> 00:10:32.710 I was meant to die inside of! 00:10:32.710 --> 00:10:34.020 But it's not just that. 00:10:34.020 --> 00:10:36.020 I do think that, in some ways, 00:10:36.020 --> 00:10:37.730 since I started presenting as a woman, 00:10:37.730 --> 00:10:39.810 people actually do treat me better. 00:10:39.810 --> 00:10:42.410 I mean, they take my opinions less seriously sure, 00:10:42.410 --> 00:10:44.935 but that's probably for the best. 00:10:44.935 --> 00:10:47.060 Now before using my personal experience 00:10:47.060 --> 00:10:48.380 as any kind of evidence, 00:10:48.380 --> 00:10:50.400 I guess I should say a couple caveats. 00:10:50.400 --> 00:10:53.880 Caveat one is that most pre-transition trans women 00:10:53.880 --> 00:10:56.750 are not like other boys and most of us were not living 00:10:56.750 --> 00:10:59.960 the business-class male experience by any means. 00:10:59.960 --> 00:11:02.210 You know, it's a lot of drunk melancholics, 00:11:02.210 --> 00:11:05.329 tormented sissies, secretive transvestites, 00:11:05.329 --> 00:11:07.890 poets, you know, 00:11:07.890 --> 00:11:09.460 that sort of thing. 00:11:09.460 --> 00:11:12.442 Caveat two is that MY trans experience 00:11:12.442 --> 00:11:14.910 is not THE trans experience, 00:11:14.910 --> 00:11:16.750 and I do have a lot of other privileges 00:11:16.750 --> 00:11:20.000 that made things go super f*cking well for me heyhowreyou. 00:11:20.090 --> 00:11:22.890 Don't you just love it when someone checks their privilege 00:11:22.890 --> 00:11:25.570 in a way that's actually just bragging? 00:11:25.570 --> 00:11:27.160 You know it's super important for me 00:11:27.160 --> 00:11:29.580 to acknowledge that I've been so successful 00:11:29.580 --> 00:11:30.676 and I've come so far 00:11:30.676 --> 00:11:34.900 in part because I'm white and I'm skinny and I'm young 00:11:34.900 --> 00:11:37.980 and I'm blonde and I'm rich and I pass 00:11:37.980 --> 00:11:40.181 and I'm educated and I'm popular 00:11:40.181 --> 00:11:42.132 and my plastic surgeon is an artist 00:11:42.132 --> 00:11:43.920 and my boyfriend is really rich and hot 00:11:43.920 --> 00:11:46.610 and I come from a pure Aryan bloodline. 00:11:46.610 --> 00:11:47.490 And part of what makes me 00:11:47.490 --> 00:11:49.760 so enlightened and so compassionate 00:11:49.760 --> 00:11:52.550 is that I'm able to recognize these privileges 00:11:52.550 --> 00:11:55.330 that I have that just might not be available 00:11:55.330 --> 00:11:58.554 to people who are less fortunate. 00:11:58.554 --> 00:11:59.507 From the bottom of my motherf*cking 00:11:59.507 --> 00:12:00.920 and my fatherf*cking heart 00:12:00.920 --> 00:12:02.390 that must be super f*cking hard for you. 00:12:02.390 --> 00:12:03.643 I can't even imagine. 00:12:04.533 --> 00:12:06.270 What I was saying is there are ways 00:12:06.270 --> 00:12:07.560 that people treat me better now 00:12:07.560 --> 00:12:09.010 that I'm presenting as a woman. 00:12:09.010 --> 00:12:10.880 You know, people smile at me more. 00:12:10.880 --> 00:12:12.680 I feel more taken care of. 00:12:12.680 --> 00:12:14.368 Men do things for me! 00:12:14.368 --> 00:12:17.570 Now a lot of women don't like men doing things for them. 00:12:17.570 --> 00:12:19.773 You know, holding doors, helping with luggage 00:12:19.773 --> 00:12:22.994 because they feel that it's infantalizing or condescending. 00:12:22.994 --> 00:12:24.770 But not me. 00:12:24.770 --> 00:12:27.700 I love it, both because I love attention 00:12:27.700 --> 00:12:30.050 and because I am a recumbent queen 00:12:30.050 --> 00:12:31.626 who's too much of a delicate flower to lift a finger. 00:12:31.626 --> 00:12:34.560 I do this thing on airplanes where when it's time for me 00:12:34.560 --> 00:12:36.787 to put my carry-on luggage in the overhead bin, 00:12:36.787 --> 00:12:39.195 I pretend that my bag is too heavy for me to lift, 00:12:39.195 --> 00:12:43.410 and then some man will usually get up and do it for me, 00:12:43.410 --> 00:12:45.370 even though I'm taller than most men. 00:12:45.370 --> 00:12:46.600 It makes me happy! 00:12:46.600 --> 00:12:48.210 Another good thing about becoming a woman 00:12:48.210 --> 00:12:50.980 is I integrated more into female social groups, 00:12:50.980 --> 00:12:54.020 and I found that they provide a kind of communal support 00:12:54.020 --> 00:12:55.340 and overt affection 00:12:55.340 --> 00:12:58.690 that male social groups generally just don't. 00:12:58.690 --> 00:13:00.750 I find the female social style suits me better 00:13:00.750 --> 00:13:03.540 than the male one, which tends to be more atomized, 00:13:03.540 --> 00:13:06.870 more individualist, where affection is always concealed 00:13:06.870 --> 00:13:10.050 behind this semi-jokey front of competition. 00:13:10.050 --> 00:13:12.340 Like think about the way boys talk to each other 00:13:12.340 --> 00:13:13.760 when they're playing video games. 00:13:13.760 --> 00:13:15.410 A third improvement for me has to do with the way 00:13:15.410 --> 00:13:18.000 men and women are treated differently in public space. 00:13:18.000 --> 00:13:19.860 When you present female in public 00:13:19.860 --> 00:13:22.390 you're more likely to be treated as a spectacle 00:13:22.390 --> 00:13:23.510 to be commented upon. 00:13:23.510 --> 00:13:27.130 People, usually men, will just blurt out 00:13:27.130 --> 00:13:28.550 their opinions about you, 00:13:28.550 --> 00:13:30.684 sometimes complimentary, sometimes insulting, 00:13:30.684 --> 00:13:33.400 sometimes just f*cking weird. 00:13:33.400 --> 00:13:34.970 Whereas when you present male in public 00:13:34.970 --> 00:13:36.970 you're more likely to be treated 00:13:36.970 --> 00:13:39.149 either as invisible or as dangerous. 00:13:39.149 --> 00:13:40.860 Now feminists have traditionally 00:13:40.860 --> 00:13:41.896 interpreted these differences 00:13:41.896 --> 00:13:45.960 as men asserting dominance over women in public space, 00:13:45.960 --> 00:13:47.480 and they've criticized catcalling 00:13:47.480 --> 00:13:50.400 as being objectifying, degrading, and misogynistic. 00:13:50.400 --> 00:13:52.179 And it certainly can be all of those things. 00:13:52.179 --> 00:13:54.350 But there's different kinds of catcalling, 00:13:54.350 --> 00:13:56.240 and I have different feelings about them. 00:13:56.240 --> 00:13:57.796 If I'm walking with another woman 00:13:57.796 --> 00:14:00.932 and a man says, "Ladies, you look beautiful tonight," 00:14:00.932 --> 00:14:03.400 I don't know, I like that. 00:14:03.400 --> 00:14:04.740 I think that's nice. 00:14:04.740 --> 00:14:05.840 It makes me feel seen. 00:14:05.840 --> 00:14:07.010 It makes me feel admired. 00:14:07.010 --> 00:14:08.760 It boosts my confidence. 00:14:08.760 --> 00:14:10.744 Whereas, if I'm walking alone 00:14:10.744 --> 00:14:14.447 and a drunk starts following me down the street singing, 00:14:14.447 --> 00:14:17.287 "Have you seen Polythene Pam? 00:14:17.287 --> 00:14:19.957 "She's so good looking, but she looks like a man!" 00:14:20.840 --> 00:14:24.170 That I am less enthusiastic about. 00:14:24.170 --> 00:14:25.680 I mean not that that's ever happened. 00:14:25.680 --> 00:14:28.700 I'm completely f*cking unclockable heyhowreyou... 00:14:28.723 --> 00:14:32.074 ♪ No one knows what it's like ♪ 00:14:32.074 --> 00:14:35.150 ♪ To be a sad tran ♪ 00:14:35.150 --> 00:14:36.890 I definitely get where feminists are coming from 00:14:36.890 --> 00:14:38.700 because street harassment sucks. 00:14:38.700 --> 00:14:40.600 I'm a lot more afraid walking alone at night 00:14:40.600 --> 00:14:42.918 than I used to be, and there's a lot more places 00:14:42.918 --> 00:14:44.785 I just won't go by myself. 00:14:44.785 --> 00:14:46.015 But on the other hand, 00:14:46.015 --> 00:14:48.945 I do now enjoy being able to walk down the street at night 00:14:48.945 --> 00:14:52.180 without other people acting afraid of me. 00:14:52.180 --> 00:14:55.300 I think a lot of feminists have failed to imagine the ways 00:14:55.300 --> 00:14:57.668 that being treated as invisible or dangerous 00:14:57.668 --> 00:15:00.410 can also kind of suck. 00:15:00.410 --> 00:15:01.750 In my video on incels 00:15:01.750 --> 00:15:04.800 I talked about male invisibility on dating apps 00:15:04.800 --> 00:15:06.664 and how getting no attention at all 00:15:06.664 --> 00:15:09.100 can actually be emotionally worse 00:15:09.100 --> 00:15:10.920 than getting a lot of sh*tty attention. 00:15:10.920 --> 00:15:13.654 And when it comes to being treated as dangerous, 00:15:13.654 --> 00:15:15.309 when I was living as a man 00:15:15.309 --> 00:15:17.664 sometimes if I was walking at night, 00:15:17.664 --> 00:15:19.980 a woman on the same block as me 00:15:19.980 --> 00:15:21.930 would change sides of the street. 00:15:21.930 --> 00:15:23.450 And I totally get why. 00:15:23.450 --> 00:15:26.229 Men do scary shit sometimes, and it's better to be safe. 00:15:26.229 --> 00:15:28.760 But it still stung a little bit 00:15:28.760 --> 00:15:31.810 to be treated as dangerous by default. 00:15:31.810 --> 00:15:33.520 I think it can actually be harmful, 00:15:33.520 --> 00:15:36.520 which becomes clearer if we add race into the equation. 00:15:36.520 --> 00:15:38.810 There's ways that white women's fear 00:15:38.810 --> 00:15:42.270 can actually be dangerous in particular to black men. 00:15:42.270 --> 00:15:43.830 I had an experience with this recently 00:15:43.830 --> 00:15:45.720 when I was filming my video "The Apocalypse" 00:15:45.720 --> 00:15:48.120 and I'd rented a room in a hotel casino. 00:15:48.120 --> 00:15:50.300 Around midnight I was carrying some camera equipment 00:15:50.300 --> 00:15:52.520 up to my room, and I got into the elevator 00:15:52.520 --> 00:15:54.610 with a group of people from the casino floor. 00:15:54.610 --> 00:15:57.190 A couple floors up, everyone got out of the elevator 00:15:57.190 --> 00:16:00.130 except for me and a single black man. 00:16:00.130 --> 00:16:01.735 Well, I mean he was alone, 00:16:01.735 --> 00:16:03.300 but I don't know if he was single. 00:16:03.300 --> 00:16:04.133 That's not part of the story. 00:16:04.133 --> 00:16:05.540 And as soon as the door closed 00:16:05.540 --> 00:16:08.657 he started literally whistling Row, Row, Row Your Boat, 00:16:08.657 --> 00:16:11.670 the official melody of performative innocence. 00:16:11.670 --> 00:16:15.847 And I realized oh sh*t, he's afraid that I'm afraid. 00:16:15.847 --> 00:16:18.020 And I found that just excruciating. 00:16:18.020 --> 00:16:19.971 I was like oh God. 00:16:19.971 --> 00:16:22.571 How do other white women behave in elevators? 00:16:22.571 --> 00:16:25.543 Do they like, clutch their purses? 00:16:26.549 --> 00:16:27.410 (groans) 00:16:27.410 --> 00:16:29.132 That's so f*cking embarrassing. 00:16:29.132 --> 00:16:31.680 Nothing like that had ever happened to me 00:16:31.680 --> 00:16:32.913 when I was living as a man. 00:16:32.913 --> 00:16:35.600 It's not a thing between black men and white men. 00:16:35.600 --> 00:16:38.320 It's a thing between black men and white women. 00:16:38.320 --> 00:16:39.820 And so that dynamic was there 00:16:39.820 --> 00:16:42.180 not just because I'm white and he's black, 00:16:42.180 --> 00:16:44.950 but because I'm a woman and he's a man. 00:16:44.950 --> 00:16:46.720 And I thought of that incident again 00:16:46.720 --> 00:16:48.920 when I was listening to "The Myth of Male Power" 00:16:48.920 --> 00:16:50.961 and Farrell says, "Men's greatest weakness 00:16:50.961 --> 00:16:53.157 "is their facade of strength, 00:16:53.157 --> 00:16:54.987 "and women's greatest strength 00:16:54.987 --> 00:16:56.710 "is their facade of weakness." 00:16:56.710 --> 00:16:58.780 I think there is some truth to the idea 00:16:58.780 --> 00:17:00.640 that women's perceived vulnerability 00:17:00.640 --> 00:17:01.707 can make them powerful, 00:17:01.707 --> 00:17:05.020 and men's perceived power can make them vulnerable. 00:17:05.020 --> 00:17:06.970 Now I hope you're taking all of this with a grain of salt 00:17:06.970 --> 00:17:09.720 because these are just some little observations I've made 00:17:09.720 --> 00:17:11.196 based on a handful of anecdotes. 00:17:11.196 --> 00:17:13.069 And as rational males 00:17:13.069 --> 00:17:16.050 it's important that we consider the facts, 00:17:16.050 --> 00:17:18.080 the stats, and the figures. 00:17:18.080 --> 00:17:20.843 Did you know that 46% of men 00:17:20.843 --> 00:17:25.843 are at least 2.8 times different than 73% of women? 00:17:26.380 --> 00:17:27.213 Look it up. 00:17:27.213 --> 00:17:28.450 I haven't. 00:17:28.450 --> 00:17:30.880 I guess my super f*cking Libra opinion 00:17:30.880 --> 00:17:32.471 is that there's upsides and downsides 00:17:32.471 --> 00:17:34.370 to male and female experience. 00:17:34.370 --> 00:17:36.710 I don't actually think there's a single definite answer 00:17:36.710 --> 00:17:38.176 to the vague and useless question, 00:17:38.176 --> 00:17:40.330 "Which gender has it worse?" 00:17:40.330 --> 00:17:41.730 I consider myself a feminist 00:17:41.730 --> 00:17:43.740 because I support reproductive rights 00:17:43.740 --> 00:17:45.590 and I oppose workplace misogyny 00:17:45.590 --> 00:17:48.120 and I generally agree with a lot of the activism 00:17:48.120 --> 00:17:50.240 that happens under the heading of feminism. 00:17:50.240 --> 00:17:52.280 But I also think a lot of men are just 00:17:52.280 --> 00:17:54.197 having a super f*cking difficult time right now 00:17:54.197 --> 00:17:57.400 and that must be super f*cking hard for them heyhowreyou. 00:17:57.400 --> 00:17:59.410 And I don't think feminists have an obligation 00:17:59.410 --> 00:18:03.570 to care about male angst, but I care about you boys. 00:18:03.570 --> 00:18:04.863 God, I'm such a cool girl, 00:18:04.863 --> 00:18:06.670 ️ I think the entire mid-Atlantic region 00:18:06.670 --> 00:18:07.930 is about to freeze over. 00:18:07.930 --> 00:18:10.510 No, I'm just a super f*cking empathetic Pisces moon, 00:18:10.510 --> 00:18:12.560 and I really try to understand 00:18:12.560 --> 00:18:14.180 other people's pain because 00:18:15.630 --> 00:18:18.376 I just find it really, really funny. 00:18:18.376 --> 00:18:21.690 I'm also really, really sobering up here. 00:18:21.690 --> 00:18:23.140 The drugs have worn off, 00:18:23.140 --> 00:18:26.220 and I am suddenly feeling 00:18:26.220 --> 00:18:27.490 very naked. 00:18:27.490 --> 00:18:29.160 Like it's just now occurring to me 00:18:29.160 --> 00:18:32.190 that this is a highly inappropriate outfit 00:18:32.190 --> 00:18:33.400 for this occasion. 00:18:33.400 --> 00:18:35.890 So, I'm gonna go put on a robe, 00:18:35.890 --> 00:18:38.635 and I'll meet you back for the next section. 00:18:38.635 --> 00:18:41.973 Postulate three, The Man Question. 00:18:43.000 --> 00:18:45.667 (upbeat music) 00:18:47.790 --> 00:18:49.985 Hi boys, et cetera, et cetera. 00:18:49.985 --> 00:18:51.490 Heyhowareyou? 00:18:51.490 --> 00:18:53.290 For the last three years on this channel 00:18:53.290 --> 00:18:57.520 I have been your Virgil, leading you through gender hell. 00:18:57.520 --> 00:19:00.720 Pick-up artists, gender dysphoria, incels, 00:19:00.720 --> 00:19:03.560 radical feminists, non-binary genders, 00:19:03.560 --> 00:19:04.930 men's rights activists. 00:19:04.930 --> 00:19:08.150 It seems like everybody's having gender trouble. 00:19:08.150 --> 00:19:09.550 So what do we make of that? 00:19:09.550 --> 00:19:13.560 Well gorg, a very, very rational male philosopher 00:19:13.560 --> 00:19:14.906 named Hegel once said 00:19:14.906 --> 00:19:17.360 that the unfolding of history 00:19:17.360 --> 00:19:20.080 is a basically rational process, gorg. 00:19:20.080 --> 00:19:22.400 That means that at any time in history, 00:19:22.400 --> 00:19:25.430 society is based on certain principles, like 00:19:26.960 --> 00:19:28.140 all men are created equal 00:19:28.140 --> 00:19:30.170 as long as they're super f*cking white and rich. 00:19:30.170 --> 00:19:33.100 And there's always contradictions within those principles, 00:19:33.100 --> 00:19:36.350 which creates tension and eventually leads to a rupture, 00:19:36.350 --> 00:19:38.490 like a revolution, where society has 00:19:38.490 --> 00:19:40.980 to be reorganized according to new principles. 00:19:40.980 --> 00:19:43.130 At least, I think he was saying something like that. 00:19:43.130 --> 00:19:44.610 It's pretty hard to make anything out 00:19:44.610 --> 00:19:46.250 through the fog of his unreadable, 00:19:46.250 --> 00:19:48.110 hyper-abstract man-jabbering. 00:19:48.110 --> 00:19:49.588 God, I can't stand that shit 00:19:49.588 --> 00:19:52.050 or any of the other music-hating volcels 00:19:52.050 --> 00:19:53.960 of the male philosophical tradition. 00:19:53.960 --> 00:19:56.510 My point is I think our society has reached a place 00:19:56.510 --> 00:19:59.660 where gender as we know it just isn't working anymore. 00:19:59.660 --> 00:20:01.740 Now no one seems to agree why it isn't working 00:20:01.740 --> 00:20:02.940 or how to fix it, 00:20:02.940 --> 00:20:05.170 but we do all agree that it's broken. 00:20:05.170 --> 00:20:07.040 We have mainstream feminists saying we need 00:20:07.040 --> 00:20:08.539 to continue advancing the rights of women. 00:20:08.539 --> 00:20:10.170 We have conservatives saying 00:20:10.170 --> 00:20:12.620 we need restore the gender roles of the 1950s. 00:20:12.620 --> 00:20:14.170 We have an increasing number of people 00:20:14.170 --> 00:20:16.140 not identifying as men or women. 00:20:16.140 --> 00:20:18.410 We have TERFs who think that the transgenders 00:20:18.410 --> 00:20:21.180 are the single greatest threat to civilization, heyhowareyou? 00:20:21.180 --> 00:20:22.795 And we have men's rights activists saying we need 00:20:22.795 --> 00:20:24.568 a male equivalent to feminism 00:20:24.568 --> 00:20:27.850 to liberate men from their oppressive gender role. 00:20:27.850 --> 00:20:29.560 Now I wanna focus on that last one 00:20:29.560 --> 00:20:32.700 because in principle I agree. 00:20:32.700 --> 00:20:34.330 I've spent a lot of the last three years 00:20:34.330 --> 00:20:35.640 covering the manosphere. 00:20:35.640 --> 00:20:37.050 I know, such a feminine topic. 00:20:37.050 --> 00:20:38.050 Love that for me. 00:20:38.050 --> 00:20:40.040 And from all the time I've tortured myself 00:20:40.040 --> 00:20:41.747 wading through these communities of incels, 00:20:41.747 --> 00:20:44.830 pick-up artists, men's rights slacktivists, 00:20:44.830 --> 00:20:46.630 intellectual dark web fanboys, 00:20:46.630 --> 00:20:49.400 and alt-right racists, I've noticed 00:20:49.400 --> 00:20:51.340 that they all have one thing in common, 00:20:51.340 --> 00:20:52.580 which is that they all recruit 00:20:52.580 --> 00:20:56.600 from the same massive pool of sad young men. 00:20:56.600 --> 00:20:57.950 We all know the archetype. 00:20:57.950 --> 00:20:59.349 He has trouble relating to women. 00:20:59.349 --> 00:21:01.210 He has no strong friendship group. 00:21:01.210 --> 00:21:03.132 He's not excited about any long-term goals, 00:21:03.132 --> 00:21:06.160 and he fills the void with video games and porn. 00:21:06.160 --> 00:21:08.740 And just to clarify, I'm not trying to take away 00:21:08.740 --> 00:21:10.050 your video games and porn. 00:21:10.050 --> 00:21:11.810 I'm not telling what to do with your penis. 00:21:11.810 --> 00:21:14.040 You can rub one out to this video for all I care. 00:21:14.040 --> 00:21:16.104 Just don't pull a Gamergate on me, okay? 00:21:16.104 --> 00:21:17.800 (sighs) 00:21:17.800 --> 00:21:19.060 I live in fear. 00:21:19.060 --> 00:21:20.350 Look, I like to believe 00:21:20.350 --> 00:21:22.527 that until the red-pillers inject their poison, 00:21:22.527 --> 00:21:25.004 most of these boys are not bad people. 00:21:25.004 --> 00:21:26.371 I think this all originates 00:21:26.371 --> 00:21:29.120 in a genuine crisis of male identity. 00:21:29.120 --> 00:21:30.970 And I think it's happened in something 00:21:30.970 --> 00:21:33.340 like the way men's rights activists describe. 00:21:33.340 --> 00:21:35.513 The sacrificial role of men as warriors 00:21:35.513 --> 00:21:37.950 is no longer widely glorified or necessary. 00:21:37.950 --> 00:21:40.350 The traditional protector/provider role of men 00:21:40.350 --> 00:21:42.860 is being replaced by a more equal 00:21:42.860 --> 00:21:44.332 and undefined gender dynamic. 00:21:44.332 --> 00:21:47.320 And college professors and activists are telling men 00:21:47.320 --> 00:21:50.280 that most of our culture's aspirational representations 00:21:50.280 --> 00:21:52.370 of manhood are toxic and bad. 00:21:52.370 --> 00:21:54.450 But without an attractive replacement vision 00:21:54.450 --> 00:21:56.165 of aspirational manhood, 00:21:56.165 --> 00:22:00.507 average young men can only imagine their future as... what? 00:22:00.507 --> 00:22:01.806 The beta. 00:22:01.806 --> 00:22:03.017 The cuck. 00:22:03.017 --> 00:22:04.322 The nu male. 00:22:04.322 --> 00:22:06.390 And in a post-LeftTube internet, 00:22:06.390 --> 00:22:08.307 we're so used to laughing at this vocabulary, 00:22:08.307 --> 00:22:11.590 and to be fair it is very funny, 00:22:11.590 --> 00:22:13.474 but we forget, especially us grills, 00:22:13.474 --> 00:22:15.510 that for a lot of men these words actually do 00:22:15.510 --> 00:22:18.820 tap into a deep, existential angst. 00:22:18.820 --> 00:22:19.988 And a lot of leftists go, 00:22:19.988 --> 00:22:23.620 "Well how can men be so angsty, especially white men? 00:22:23.620 --> 00:22:24.535 "They're so privileged." 00:22:24.535 --> 00:22:28.730 But existential angst is often a disease of privilege. 00:22:28.730 --> 00:22:31.750 If you're actually being oppressed you have a struggle. 00:22:31.750 --> 00:22:33.290 You have something to fight for, 00:22:33.290 --> 00:22:35.230 and therefore a purpose. 00:22:35.230 --> 00:22:37.730 But for a lot men their lack of purpose 00:22:37.730 --> 00:22:40.010 puts them in search of a struggle. 00:22:40.010 --> 00:22:42.330 And that, along with the loneliness 00:22:42.330 --> 00:22:44.430 and the lack of a positive identity 00:22:44.430 --> 00:22:46.680 is what makes men vulnerable to recruitment 00:22:46.680 --> 00:22:49.060 by the manosphere groups and by the alt-right. 00:22:49.060 --> 00:22:52.010 And even worse, it seems to be a motivating factor 00:22:52.010 --> 00:22:54.154 for the small but growing number of young men 00:22:54.154 --> 00:22:55.862 who decide to pick up a gun 00:22:55.862 --> 00:22:58.340 and open fire in a shopping center. 00:22:58.340 --> 00:23:00.240 There were two mass shootings during the weekend 00:23:00.240 --> 00:23:03.540 I was writing this video, resulting in 31 deaths. 00:23:03.540 --> 00:23:04.818 Both shooters were young white men, 00:23:04.818 --> 00:23:07.440 and one of them posted about the shooting 00:23:07.440 --> 00:23:08.810 on an alt-right image board. 00:23:08.810 --> 00:23:10.220 Now I don't pretend to fully understand 00:23:10.220 --> 00:23:11.750 the motives of mass shooters, 00:23:11.750 --> 00:23:13.610 but I don't think it's a coincidence 00:23:13.610 --> 00:23:15.540 that basically all of them are men. 00:23:15.540 --> 00:23:18.229 One possible interpretation of the mass shooting epidemic 00:23:18.229 --> 00:23:20.916 is that these killers are trying to resurrect 00:23:20.916 --> 00:23:24.430 some horrible parody of ancient masculine glory 00:23:24.430 --> 00:23:28.310 and therefore to be seen and recognized as men 00:23:28.310 --> 00:23:31.880 by unleashing Homeric violence in a f*cking Walmart. 00:23:31.880 --> 00:23:33.610 And of course there's also the racism 00:23:33.610 --> 00:23:34.960 of the alt-right killers 00:23:34.960 --> 00:23:37.960 and the wounded sexual entitlement of the incel killers. 00:23:37.960 --> 00:23:41.231 But that racism and that sexual entitlement are learned, 00:23:41.231 --> 00:23:43.611 and men in the throes of a masculinity crisis 00:23:43.611 --> 00:23:45.565 are much more receptive to learning it. 00:23:45.565 --> 00:23:48.069 So you can try to take down their forums 00:23:48.069 --> 00:23:50.878 and ban their accounts and deplatform their events, 00:23:50.878 --> 00:23:54.325 but as long as this male identity crisis goes on, 00:23:54.325 --> 00:23:57.589 I don't see any end to these problems. 00:23:57.589 --> 00:24:00.360 Theorem four, What Do? 00:24:00.360 --> 00:24:02.410 There's this media narrative 00:24:02.410 --> 00:24:05.140 that has emerged around me and around this channel. 00:24:05.140 --> 00:24:06.190 And by the way, the fact 00:24:06.190 --> 00:24:08.662 that there's any kind media narrative about this channel 00:24:08.662 --> 00:24:11.070 is super f*cking coconuts. 00:24:11.070 --> 00:24:12.455 Because let's be real gorg, 00:24:12.455 --> 00:24:14.577 I just wanted to pour milk on my face 00:24:14.577 --> 00:24:16.310 and talk about the mouthfeel. 00:24:16.310 --> 00:24:17.660 But there's this media narrative 00:24:17.660 --> 00:24:19.104 that my role in the discourse is 00:24:19.104 --> 00:24:21.600 "de-radicalizing 00:24:21.600 --> 00:24:22.433 "young 00:24:22.433 --> 00:24:24.630 "alt-right men." 00:24:24.630 --> 00:24:26.240 And it's true that if you read 00:24:26.240 --> 00:24:28.224 the leftist YouTube fan subreddits, 00:24:28.224 --> 00:24:30.920 I used to be alt-right posts are so common 00:24:30.920 --> 00:24:32.177 they're considered cliché. 00:24:32.177 --> 00:24:34.740 And some of them cite me as an influence 00:24:34.740 --> 00:24:35.990 in changing their politics, 00:24:35.990 --> 00:24:39.760 which I love for them and I'm super f*cking happy about it, 00:24:39.760 --> 00:24:43.610 but it's also a lot of responsibility. 00:24:43.610 --> 00:24:45.490 They're (Grindr notification) my boys. 00:24:45.490 --> 00:24:48.140 And I worry about (Grindr notification) my boys. 00:24:48.140 --> 00:24:49.820 Because in reality it's not like 00:24:49.820 --> 00:24:52.820 they go from far-right extremists to complacent centrists. 00:24:52.820 --> 00:24:53.653 No. 00:24:53.653 --> 00:24:54.673 Most of them go far left. 00:24:54.673 --> 00:24:57.256 A lot of times they become communists or anarchists. 00:24:57.256 --> 00:24:59.710 So I watch them go from far to my right 00:24:59.710 --> 00:25:01.780 to significantly to my left. 00:25:01.780 --> 00:25:04.920 It's not really de-radicalizing so much as re-radicalizing. 00:25:04.920 --> 00:25:06.910 And I think it's definitely an improvement, 00:25:06.910 --> 00:25:09.520 but I still worry it's not gonna be good enough. 00:25:09.520 --> 00:25:11.940 I worry about (Grindr notification) my boys. 00:25:11.940 --> 00:25:13.850 Because I don't think that the left yet has 00:25:13.850 --> 00:25:16.550 a final solution to the man question. 00:25:16.550 --> 00:25:17.383 Oh no. 00:25:17.383 --> 00:25:18.657 That was worded poorly. 00:25:18.657 --> 00:25:20.470 You know, there's kind of two options 00:25:20.470 --> 00:25:22.360 the left has for disillusioned men. 00:25:22.360 --> 00:25:25.780 The first is the Marxist promise of economic revolution. 00:25:25.780 --> 00:25:28.630 We say, "Well, actually yes, you are oppressed. 00:25:28.630 --> 00:25:31.610 "But you're oppressed because of your class, not your gender. 00:25:31.610 --> 00:25:32.870 "So just join the revolution. 00:25:32.870 --> 00:25:34.478 "It's gonna be super f*cking crazy. 00:25:34.478 --> 00:25:36.351 "We're gonna overthrow the bourgeoisie, 00:25:36.351 --> 00:25:37.370 "meow meow, 00:25:37.370 --> 00:25:41.161 "smash no voting, and then things will be better for you." 00:25:41.161 --> 00:25:43.635 Now, I think that has a couple limitations. 00:25:43.635 --> 00:25:46.310 One is that I look at the far left 00:25:46.310 --> 00:25:48.620 and I see a bunch of people 00:25:48.620 --> 00:25:50.338 who spend all their time accusing each other 00:25:50.338 --> 00:25:53.710 of abusing moderator privileges in closed Facebook groups. 00:25:53.710 --> 00:25:55.610 And I'm concerned 00:25:55.610 --> 00:25:57.730 that might not succeed 00:25:57.730 --> 00:25:59.390 at ending capitalism. 00:25:59.390 --> 00:26:00.223 Meow meow 00:26:00.223 --> 00:26:01.960 Like, definitely vote for Bernie Sanders 00:26:01.960 --> 00:26:03.470 or Elizabeth Warren or whoever, 00:26:03.470 --> 00:26:06.100 but if you're investing all of your hopes 00:26:06.100 --> 00:26:07.857 in a capital R Revolution, 00:26:07.857 --> 00:26:10.616 I worry that can become like waiting for Godot 00:26:10.616 --> 00:26:12.520 or waiting for the rapture. 00:26:12.520 --> 00:26:14.160 So we do need political change, 00:26:14.160 --> 00:26:17.070 but I feel like I'm failing 00:26:17.070 --> 00:26:18.090 (Grindr notification) my boys 00:26:18.090 --> 00:26:19.720 if I'm somehow giving them the idea 00:26:19.720 --> 00:26:21.601 that revolution is their only hope. 00:26:21.601 --> 00:26:23.220 Cause here's the other thing. 00:26:23.220 --> 00:26:25.920 Even if we did succeed at ending capitalism, 00:26:25.920 --> 00:26:27.140 there would still be gender, 00:26:27.140 --> 00:26:30.270 and (Grindr notification) my boys would still need some model 00:26:30.270 --> 00:26:33.136 of what it is to lead a good life as a man. 00:26:33.136 --> 00:26:35.570 Now the other option the left has for disillusioned men 00:26:35.570 --> 00:26:38.330 is the feminist tranquilizer. 00:26:38.330 --> 00:26:41.110 We say, "Look, toxic masculinity is the reason 00:26:41.110 --> 00:26:42.678 "you don't have room to express your feelings, 00:26:42.678 --> 00:26:45.370 "and it's the reason you feel lonely and inadequate." 00:26:45.370 --> 00:26:47.740 So, while feminism tells women, "You hate your body 00:26:47.740 --> 00:26:49.270 "and you're constantly doubting yourself 00:26:49.270 --> 00:26:52.950 "because society did this to you and needs to change," 00:26:52.950 --> 00:26:55.820 we kinda just tell men, "You're lonely and suicidal 00:26:55.820 --> 00:26:56.850 "because you're toxic. 00:26:56.850 --> 00:26:57.760 "Stop it." 00:26:57.760 --> 00:26:59.020 We tell them that they're broken 00:26:59.020 --> 00:27:01.710 without really telling them how to fix themselves. 00:27:01.710 --> 00:27:06.200 I think what men need is a new, positive ideal of manhood, 00:27:06.200 --> 00:27:07.300 which I don't think is something 00:27:07.300 --> 00:27:10.420 that women cannot create for men, even if they wanted to. 00:27:10.420 --> 00:27:12.360 And honestly the best way for that to happen 00:27:12.360 --> 00:27:14.620 may actually be some kind of men's movement. 00:27:14.620 --> 00:27:17.270 But on the left the whole idea of a men's movement 00:27:17.270 --> 00:27:20.900 is basically taboo because the men's movement we all know 00:27:20.900 --> 00:27:23.150 is basically just a backlash to feminism, 00:27:23.150 --> 00:27:26.022 and at worst, it's just straight-up misogyny. 00:27:26.022 --> 00:27:28.860 And look boys, I understand that being lectured 00:27:28.860 --> 00:27:30.500 about manspreading for most of 2015 00:27:30.500 --> 00:27:32.900 was super fucking hard for you 00:27:32.900 --> 00:27:34.004 and you're still mad about it, 00:27:34.004 --> 00:27:36.850 but posting endless outrage p*rn 00:27:36.850 --> 00:27:38.837 about false r*pe accusations and paternity fraud 00:27:38.837 --> 00:27:42.179 isn't actually gonna make life any better for you. 00:27:42.179 --> 00:27:45.441 Because yes, those things are horrible when they happen, 00:27:45.441 --> 00:27:49.040 but they're not systemic issues that affect most men. 00:27:49.040 --> 00:27:52.370 I think what would actually improve life for most men 00:27:52.370 --> 00:27:55.860 is a positive ideal of 21st century manhood, 00:27:55.860 --> 00:27:58.700 but that's not something I can give to you 00:27:58.700 --> 00:28:00.248 because in case you hadn't noticed 00:28:00.248 --> 00:28:02.733 I'm literally a fu*cking woman. 00:28:02.733 --> 00:28:04.600 I can't mom you through this one boys. 00:28:04.600 --> 00:28:05.710 You're on your own. 00:28:05.710 --> 00:28:07.200 You have to help each other. 00:28:07.200 --> 00:28:09.610 So find each other in the comments section. 00:28:09.610 --> 00:28:10.810 Meet up on Reddit. 00:28:10.810 --> 00:28:11.643 Make friends. 00:28:11.643 --> 00:28:12.580 Clean your room. 00:28:12.580 --> 00:28:13.413 Leave the house. 00:28:13.413 --> 00:28:14.502 F*ck each other. (Grindr notification) 00:28:14.502 --> 00:28:15.810 I don't know. 00:28:15.810 --> 00:28:16.672 It's worth a try. 00:28:16.672 --> 00:28:18.113 And failing that, 00:28:20.300 --> 00:28:23.078 you could always throw in the towel and become a woman. 00:28:23.078 --> 00:28:24.587 Worked for me! 00:28:24.587 --> 00:28:27.170 (upbeat music) 00:29:20.994 --> 00:29:23.063 - I'm just trying to give like m'lady energy. 00:29:23.063 --> 00:29:23.896 - Yeah, it is. 00:29:23.896 --> 00:29:24.729 It is English. 00:29:24.729 --> 00:29:25.580 It's very John Maclean. 00:29:25.580 --> 00:29:28.700 Very Quentin Crisp, very aristocrat. 00:29:28.700 --> 00:29:30.050 I'm super f*cking naked right now. 00:29:30.050 --> 00:29:31.290 That's crazy. 00:29:31.290 --> 00:29:32.910 That's super f*cking crazy. 00:29:32.910 --> 00:29:35.022 According to traditional gender roles, 00:29:35.022 --> 00:29:37.020 men are useful for their labor 00:29:37.020 --> 00:29:39.250 and women are useful for their wombs. 00:29:39.250 --> 00:29:42.760 Well, I'm a woman without a womb so I guess I'm useless. 00:29:42.760 --> 00:29:43.761 But I'm beautifully useless. 00:29:43.761 --> 00:29:44.780 Agh! 00:29:44.780 --> 00:29:45.845 I'm a work of art! 00:29:45.845 --> 00:29:47.670 The problem with our society 00:29:47.670 --> 00:29:49.047 is we've turned men into women. 00:29:49.047 --> 00:29:50.424 It's disgusting. 00:29:50.424 --> 00:29:53.920 As an ally to men, it's not my place 00:29:53.920 --> 00:29:56.310 to speak for them or speak over them, 00:29:56.310 --> 00:29:58.910 but I just want to use my platform 00:29:58.910 --> 00:30:01.810 to uplift some male voices 00:30:01.810 --> 00:30:06.523 who might not have as many subscribers as me. 00:30:11.840 --> 00:30:13.111 I'm not hypergamous. 00:30:13.111 --> 00:30:14.513 I don't need a rich husband. 00:30:14.513 --> 00:30:16.266 If I may quote Cher, 00:30:16.266 --> 00:30:18.820 "I don't need a rich man. 00:30:18.820 --> 00:30:19.999 "I am a rich man." 00:30:19.999 --> 00:30:21.492 It's not even much of an insult 00:30:21.492 --> 00:30:23.550 being called a delusional man. 00:30:23.550 --> 00:30:26.277 Many great books have been written by delusional men. 00:30:28.760 --> 00:30:30.120 So bad. 00:30:30.120 --> 00:30:31.003 I'm bad. 00:30:32.440 --> 00:30:33.911 I'm really bad. 00:30:33.911 --> 00:30:34.753 Okay.